Waiting You To Love Me

"It is hard to understand that I don't love you?"

"How many times do I have to say that I don't love you!"

I can still hear his voice repeating those words over and over. I look at the sky where the raindrops were still dripping. It was as if it were sharing the sadness I was feeling in those moments.

The sky witnesses how much I am hurting right now. The sky witnesses how it hurts.

I love him, I love him so much that I can forget to love myself.

Mahal na mahal ko kasi siya. 'Yung taong palagi akong sinasaktan. I love him even if he says he doesn't love me. I love him even if he says he loves someone else.

How can we stop ourselves from falling In love? Gustong gusto ko nang tanggalin ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya, pero paano? Gustong-gusto ko nang itigil ang kahibangang 'to, pero hindi ko alam kung paano magsisimula.

Over the days, hours, minutes and seconds, he is still the one my heart wants to love. I can do nothing, but fool myself and give in to my hearts desire. Minsan nakakasawa nang mahalin siya, pero mas marami pa ring dahilan para mahalin ko siya, isa na roon ay dahil siya lang ang nagpaparamdam sa'kin nang hindi ko maipaliwanag.

"Sunny!"

From behind I heard Easton's voice. A friend of my cousin and also a friend of the person I love. Nakita ko sa mata niya ang pag-aalala. Sana ganoon din ang makita ko sa mata ni Wesley. Sana gano'n din siya tumingin sa'kin.

I gasped. I want to physically hurt myself. I hoped again that he would follow me and retract what he said, even though I knew it was vague. I just hoped again, Damn!.

"You, ok?" he asked, when he could get close to me. I just nod my head even though, it could see on my face that I wasn't ok. I can clearly see pity in his eyes as he stared at me.

"Why do you always hurt yourself? Just let him go, Sunny."

I shook my head.

Thanks to the rain, and he didn’t see much of me crying in front of him. Even though I know he saw me crying before leaving the bar.

We just went to the bar and this is what happened, I was hurt again. He hurt me emotionally again

"I-I hope it's easy." He sighed when he heard me sob.

Why do people always get hurt about love? Why do we love people who can't love us?

"Let's go. I'll take you home." I just agreed for him to take me.

Ayokong nakikita nila akong umiiyak. Sunny Miles Enriquez, The woman who is stubborn and rude to everyone is crying?

Ang ayoko sa lahat ay ang kaawan ako. I'm not miserable. I'm Enriquez, the ruthless Enriquez.

When I got in the car I saw a man standing in a tree. I took a deep breath, I don't want to assume again. Maybe I'm just kidding my self. And I just want Wesley to follow me and say, I'm the one he loves.

Really Sunny? Will he really say you are the one he loves? Even more clearly in broad daylight that he loved someone else.

Stop relying on yourself Sunny. That's enough. Bukas na lang ulit. Bukas ka na lang ulit magpakatanga. Magpahinga ka na muna. Ipahinga mo na muna ang puso at isip mo. Bukas na lang ulit.

I laughed at the thought. Bukas ulit? See! Ang tanga ko. Even though he hurt me emotionally, tomorrow I will smile again and chase after him again.

Ibang klase ka, Sunny. Bakit ba hindi ako mapagod pagod sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya? Bakit ba!

Pinunasan ko ang luhang tumulo sa mata ko, ngunit kahit anong punas ko ay hindi iyon matigil-tigil. Pagkapunas ko ay may tutulo ulit.

Bumuntong hininga na lang ako at isinandal ang ulo sa sandalan ng upuan sa kotse ni Easton. Hinayaan ko na lang tumulo ang luha ko.

Tomorrow, I will chase him again and at the last hour of the night I will be hurt again.

Tama nga sila, ang hirap magmahal sa taong hindi pa tapos magmahal sa iba.