Finally Letting go

o

brown casket, step back, and watch as the casket is lowered into the vault where

before he lost his beautiful laugh and smile. Before he lost his cheeky

bond and love. Seven months to create more memories to last a lifetime, a

with a vice grip and I couldn't ever understand wh

ken away in one of the cruelest ways possible? How do you sti

his exact church which is why I made sure he got one of his final wishes and was cremated here. I may not have understoo

as his friends leave giving me killer looks and I don't blame them because knowing what they know they h

or the first time all day, I feel comfort and warmth, not hate or loneliness. "How are you ho

shout, rip things apart, beg for my husband to return to me but s

o his side while gently rubbing my arm while I mana

Cla

m on my

pop out for s

, I'll be

ye, Cl

will be ok baby girl, I promise." He pulls away from me a little before giving me his famous Thomas grin and despite m

crying I've done today, hell all the crying that I've done over the past 2 weeks sin

means it but Claire already hates me enough without

re his best friend and he was her only son, she's hurting and y

f the family but you can be there to help them in my place instead." He knows whe

eing just before he kisses my forehead and says his goodby

lways his favorite place to be in good times and bad. We were out here two days before he died... before he le

ead the words a thousand times but every time hurts ju

constantly feels like a thousand knives slicing me but if he hadn't found it then I know that I would have

he church because it was full inside and yet I'd never felt so alone. This was once our home, o

in and I loved it here but now that he's gone and everyone hates me this

flop on the bed rubbing my aching feet. I take out the letter and again read it. I know I'm torturing myse