The Book of Humorous Verse

The Book of Humorous Verse

Various

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The Book of Humorous Verse by Various

The Book of Humorous Verse Chapter 1 No.1

Scene: A wayside shrine in France.

Persons: Celeste, Pierre, a Cloud.

Celeste (gazing at the solitary white Cloud):

I wonder what your thoughts are, little Cloud,

Up in the sky, so lonely and so proud!

Cloud: Not proud, dear maiden; lonely, if you will.

Long have I watched you, sitting there so still

Before that little shrine beside the way,

And wondered where your thoughts might be astray;

Your knitting lying idle on your knees,

And worse than idle-like Penelope's,

Working its own undoing!

Celeste (picks up her knitting): Who was she?

Saints! What a knot!-Who was Penelope?

What happened to her knitting? Tell me, Cloud!

Cloud: She was a Queen; she wove her husband's shroud.

Celeste (drops the knitting).

His shroud!

Cloud:There, there! 'Twas only an excuse

To put her lovers off, a wifely ruse,

Bidding them bide till it was finished, she

Each night the web unravelled secretly.

Celeste: He came home safe?

Cloud:If I remember right,

It was the lovers needed shrouds that night!

It is an old, old tale. I heard it through

A Wind whose ancestor it was that blew

Ulysses' ship across the purple sea

Back to his people and Penelope.

We Clouds pick up strange tales, as far and wide

And to and fro above the world we ride,

Across uncharted seas, upon the swell

Of viewless waves and tides invisible,

Freighted with friendly flood or forkèd flame,

Knowing not whither bound nor whence we came;

Now drifting lonely, now a company

Of pond'rous galleons-

Celeste:Oft-times I see

A Cloud, as by some playful fancy stirred,

Take likeness of a monstrous beast or bird

Or some fantastic fish, as though 'twere clay

Moulded by unseen hands.

Cloud:Then tell me, pray,

What I resemble now!

Celeste:I scarcely know.

But had you asked a little while ago,

I should have said a camel; then your hump

Dissolved, and you became a gosling plump,

Downy and white and warm-

Cloud:What! Warm, up here?

Ten thousand feet above the earth!

Celeste:Oh dear!

What am I thinking of! Of course I know

How cold it is. Pierre has told me so

A thousand times.

Cloud:And who is this Pierre

That tells you all the secrets of the air?

How came he to such frigid heights to soar?

Celeste: Pierre's my-He is in the Flying Corps.

Cloud: Ah, now I understand! And he's away?

Celeste: He left at dawn, where for he would not say,

Telling me only 'twas a bombing raid

Somewhere-My God! What's that?

Cloud:What, little maid?

Celeste (pointing): That-over there-beyond the wooded crest!

Cloud: Only a skylark dropping to her nest;

Her mate is hov'ring somewhere near. I heard

His tremulous song of love-

Celeste:That was no bird!

(Drops upon her knees.)

O Mary! Blessed Mother! Hear, my prayer!

That one that fell-grant it was not Pierre!

Here is the cross my mother gave me-I

Will burn the longest candle it will buy!

Cloud: Courage, my child! Your prayer will not be vain!

Who guards the lark, will guide your lover's plane.

The West Wind's calling. I must go!-Hark! There

He sings again! Le bon Dieu garde, ma chère!

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It was a grand success. Every one said so; and moreover, every one who witnessed the experiment predicted that the Mermaid would revolutionize naval warfare as completely as did the world-famous Monitor. Professor Rivers, who had devoted the best years of his life to perfecting his wonderful invention, struggling bravely on through innumerable disappointments and failures, undaunted by the sneers of those who scoffed, or the significant pity of his friends, was so overcome by his signal triumph that he fled from the congratulations of those who sought to do him honour, leaving to his young assistants the responsibility of restoring the marvellous craft to her berth in the great ship-house that had witnessed her construction. These assistants were two lads, eighteen and nineteen years of age, who were not only the Professor's most promising pupils, but his firm friends and ardent admirers. The younger, Carlos West Moranza, was the only son of a Cuban sugar-planter, and an American mother who had died while he was still too young to remember her. From earliest childhood he had exhibited so great a taste for machinery that, when he was sixteen, his father had sent him to the United States to be educated as a mechanical engineer in one of the best technical schools of that country. There his dearest chum was his class-mate, Carl Baldwin, son of the famous American shipbuilder, John Baldwin, and heir to the latter's vast fortune. The elder Baldwin had founded the school in which his own son was now being educated, and placed at its head his life-long friend, Professor Alpheus Rivers, who, upon his patron's death, had also become Carl's sole guardian. In appearance and disposition young Baldwin was the exact opposite of Carlos Moranza, and it was this as well as the similarity of their names that had first attracted the lads to each other. While the young Cuban was a handsome fellow, slight of figure, with a clear olive complexion, impulsive and rash almost to recklessness, the other was a typical Anglo-Saxon American, big, fair, and blue-eyed, rugged in feature, and slow to act, but clinging with bulldog tenacity to any idea or plan that met with his favour. He invariably addressed his chum as "West," while the latter generally called him "Carol."

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