Gambling With Love

Rhea Dorielle Andrade

"LET'S END this here right now."

My body froze after hearing it. I couldn't utter a single word right after I saw his face, showing no hints of humour. He turned his back at me as silence totally enveloped us.

How can he even say it as if it's not that big of a deal? We're talking about our relationship here! It wasn't just a kiddie thing for him to play with, right?

I let out a nervous laugh as I tried to reach for him.

"What are you trying to-"

"We both know that this is not going exactly as what we imagined before. I'm getting... tired of all this." My hands stopped on its track, mid-air as I was about to reach for his hand. "I quit..." he whispered.

Those words pierced right through me. That was the time I realized I've reached my limit. I'm about to breakdown but decided not to... especially in front of him.

"What are you doing, Garreth?! Are you making a fool out of me?!" I asked while trying to hide the fact that my tears are close to falling off.

"I'm sorry..."

It was just a freakin' sorry and yet it's enough for me to totally lose my cool.

I rushed over and hugged him from behind. I heard his sigh, making me tighten the hug even more.

I don't even want to think that this will be the last time I'll be able to hug him this close. I don't want to think that this would probably be the last thing I will get from him, together with his parting words.

"You don't have to be like this, Rhea. You're better than this."

"You made me like this! I... I don't understand you. Why are you doing this?! You know how much I love you to the extent that I'd do everything for you to love me back again. Just... please."

I feel so pathetic begging and crying for him to love me back again. I was always on the other side of the net and now...

I stepped back when he turned around to face me. He held both of my shoulders and looked straight into my eyes.

"You don't love me, Rhea. You're just trying to remind yourself about what you should feel for me. I've never really caught your attention... even until now." He patted my head and wiped the tears off my face. "I tried to be the prince for you... but I guess it still won't change the fact that I'll always be a passerby in your story."

He smiled for the last time as he walked away, leaving me clueless and dumbfounded.

I never really understood what he meant when he said those words to me. It remained a puzzle piece for me to decode.

After that heartbreaking confrontation, we went back to zero. I'm glad he didn't ignore or avoid me since then but I'll be lying if I said I'm happy about what we became. It's as if we just came back to being friends... and it sucks.

I've always wanted to smack my head on the wall multiple times, hoping it'll wake me up from this delusional world I've built. To think that after we broke up, I'm still hung up with the idea that there's still a chance we'll get back together. I know it's stupid but yeah... I'm that stupid for him.

It was actually surprising to know that I was able to pull myself together since the day he broke up with me. Those days felt like a boring cycle I was able to get a grip of despite what happened.

Furthermore, my clingy conscience keeps on bugging me to investigate about our break-up. I don't usually do stuff that hurts my reputation but ever since I've met him, I've done crazy things I never imagined I was capable of doing.

During lunch breaks, I've been keeping an eye on him. Most of the time, if he isn't staying inside the classroom, I can find him reading books on the library like he always do. But the annoying part of it, everywhere he goes, I noticed a certain someone tailing him everytime. And it was a girl... probably from his class.

I want to confront him about it but were already done.

Am I really that stupid to not notice that he actually fell in love with someone else while we're in a relationship? Were those puzzling statement he told me were just excuses so he could be with the girl he really likes?

I sighed.

Seriously, I don't want to jump into conclusions. I still want to believe in him. I still want to believe that there's at least a tiny bit of chance that he still has lingering feelings for me... that he is not over me yet. There's still a hope inside me that keeps on telling me to go for it. And I'm still holding onto that hope.

We only have a week left before our graduation. We've been practicing the graduation ceremony and my ex boyfriend didn't even attend any of them. As much as I wanted to barge in their house and ask the reason behind, I can't. Especially, I'm an ex lover he probably fell out of love for. How interesting...

"You did mention about having a sister but you didn't say she's a goddess herself!"

That loud voice stopped me from walking down the hallways. I sighed when I saw the three stooges namely Vin, Popoy and Billy, blocking the doorway of our classroom again. Vin, their leader, wasn't supposed to be in our class anyway. He's only visiting the class often because of Popoy and Billy.

Even so, I don't see a reason why they love to hang out on the doorway when they can just go sit inside the classroom. Arrgh, so annoying.

"Excuse me..."

"Oh, crap! You're right, dude. She's a freakin' goddess! I wanna make her my girlfriend."

"Dream on, boys! My sister is off limits. I'm not gonna let you both have her that easy!"

I clenched my fist when they didn't even bother looking at my way. I took a deep breath and stepped closer.

"Excuse me-"

"What a selfish bastard. I thought we're friends-"

"Are you guys deaf?! I said get out of the way!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

All of them froze from where they were standing. I took that chance to squezze in but someone held my wrist from behind which made me stop.

I looked at his hand with arched brows as I slowly gazed up to see his face. It was one of the three stooges who happened to be the annoying leader of their lame group, Vin. My forehead creased when he didn't budge and just continued staring at me like a creep.

"What?!"

He let me go as he curved his lips into a smile. "Nothing..." He whispered and winked like a total idiot.

I swear if he does that again, I'm gonna rip that freakin' eyes off of him.

I didn't mind the stares of the whole class and just sat on my chair without looking back. I don't really try being friends with any of them so I seriously don't care what they think about me. I'm fine just being with Garreth. He's all that matters to me.

"YOU'RE SERIOUSLY... going to study abroad?"

My shoulders felt stiff with the sudden bad news he brought to me. I quickly lie down on the grass and stared at the sky above me.

He asked for a sudden meet up here on the field. At first, I thought he suddenly changed his mind and was willing to take me back again. How foolish of me.

"Yeah, it's been long decided. I want to bid my farewell to you before my flight to UK two days from now."

I blinked my eyes multiple times to prevent these tears from falling down. He never failed to make me cry, huh? How cruel...

"I see..." I remained silent after that.

My mind was in total chaos. I wanted to shout and be mad at him for not telling this soon. I want to punch him in the face. I want to hug him tight. I want to kiss him so bad. I want to...

"Rhea..." I looked up and smiled.

"I'm fine. It would be easier for me to find someone better than you, now that you'll be leaving two days from now."

He chuckled and shook his head. I did the same and stood up. I looked back and saw him silently looking at the ground with his both arms on his knees.

"Tomorrow's our graduation," he whispered.

"Yeah..."

"Well, I guess we'll see each other tomorrow then."

He stood up and smiled before waving his hands as he walked away.

Tomorrow's the last day I'll be seeing him. I don't want to waste that chance... ever.

"WHAT?! ARE you stupid, Dre?!"

I stared at the blonde-haired girl in front me. Her crystal blue eyes were fiery as it keeps on throwing ice beams at me. She's definitely mad.

I rolled my eyes as I walked pass Georgiane, my cousin and went upstairs to retrieve my baggage.

"Hey! I'm not done talking to you yet! Don't you dare turn your back at me, young lady!"

I ignored her and went inside my room. I was about to take my baggage downstairs when Giane suddenly appeared and hurriedly blocked the doorway.

"Step aside, Giane."

"No! You step aside and put those things behind. You're not leaving-"

"I told you, no one's stopping me. Dad and I already had an agreement. You can't stop me now."

"At least let me finish, okay?" She crossed her arms and sighed. "You're not leaving... without me."

"What?" I laughed and looked at her in disbelief. "Are you stupid?"

"Look who's talking. You're the one who's stupid, not me!" She sighed and went inside. "Why didn't you tell me that you're studying abroad?"

I sat on the bed and put my baggage aside. She followed behind and sat beside me.

"I don't want to have you getting in the way, barging into my house at this hour saying how stupid I was for suddenly planning on studying abroad. But look where you are now, guess it can't be helped though."

"Yeah, try that again, Dre. We both know that you can't last that long living by yourself! You're a freakin' spoiled brat bitc- Ow!" she exclaimed after getting a smack on her shoulder.

"Shut up."

She laughed and bring her phone out.

"I'm gonna call daddy for this. I'll be going with you right this instant."

"What?! No! You can't do that!" I stood up and widened my eyes in refusal but she just pull her tounge out to tease me in exchange.

What an annoying childish brat.

"I won't let you have all the fun by yourself. So I decided... I'm going with you."

She's unbelievable.

"What are you talking about?! I'm not leaving the country just so I could have some fun! This is no joke, Giane."

"I'm not joking! This is something for me to decide and for you to stay out of it. I'm gonna talk to daddy for now. Stay here and wait for me." She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows enthusiastically as she went out of my room to speak with her father.

I sighed and slumped on the bed. I stared at the ceiling and suddenly thought of him.

It's been a week since I last saw him. He's probably having fun there with that Demi, the girl who's been tailing him back in highschool.

Someone told me that Demi followed my boyfri- ex boyfriend all the way abroad. How bold of her! So annoying...

I can't let her have her way to him that easy. Not from my watch. I'm going to follow them and keep them from falling for each other. Garreth has long been mine. No one's taking him away from me.

I stood up and walked towards my half-length mirror just beside my bed. I stared at it for long as questions start poundering on my head.

Am I not good enough? Is there something wrong with my looks? My personality? Or... Is it just me?

Using my bare hands, I combed my brunette long hair and placed it on my right shoulder.

I never tried cutting my hair shorter because my Dad said he liked it better when it was long. He said I resembled my mom a lot way better with long hair.

Just like my hair, I have a pair of brown eyes, long eyelashes and thick eyebrows which mostly save me from spending money on too much make-up. Many has been praising me for my natural beauty which saves me a lot of time from putting on make-up too, like what I mentioned.

I put on my wristwatch and faced the mirror once more before finally taking my baggage downstairs.

"YOU'RE DOING this because of him, right?" Giane asked the moment we sat on the plane seat.

Giane managed to convince his dad about her study plans. We'll be staying on the same house that our parents prepared as soon as I told my dad about my departure. We are currently on the way to U.K. and we've been quiet for the mean time not until she suddenly spoke out of the blue.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't even try to hide it from me, Dre. I already heard it from Martini. You're way too in love with that Garreth!" I sighed when she mentioned our cousin, who never fails to disappoint me. How could she betray me?!

"It's not just about him! I want to be independent. I wanna learn things from my own as I start to live a new life out there."

"Don't make a fool out of me! You're obviously smitten! You're embarrassing, Dre." She hit my shoulders while laughing like a crazy witch.

"Shut up."

"You followed him over selfish reasons? We both know you still want him back and you're planning to take her away from that girl, Dre. Anyway, what's her name again? Denny?"

"It's Demi."

"Oh, my bad."

I sighed and just looked at the window beside me. I can't even appreciate the sunrise because of the heavy feeling that's bothering me.

A felt a sudden pat on my shoulder so I turned to face her. She smiled and held my hand.

"Always remember that you're not alone, Dre. I'll always be with you through your brightest and darkest days. Because I love you... so much."

I smiled and laid back on the seat. I closed my eyes together as a tear fell down.

I'm not ready to let you go, Garreth. I promise I'll get you back. I'll get you back home with me soon.