Sweet Nightmares: A Monstrous Beginning

I keep hearing it all over the news. A cure for spinal injuries. One that replaces your entire spine with a metallic one.

It's the first transplant of its kind. Now possible to remove someone's entire spine without killing the patient.

And I would be one of the first to test it.

I was scared, of course, I was scared.

But not like I had a choice. I was compatible for the first testing, and being paralyzed from the waist down, I wanted to try it.

I want to walk again.

And if there's a chance of me dying to do that, I'll take it. What did I have to lose anymore?

I still remember it clearly, the day I lost everything.

I was traveling to a soccer game with my mother and father. Sitting beside my baby brother in the back seat, we had been playing childish games, the kind of games you would normally play with a baby his age. Peek-A-Boo, and teaching him words.

It was only a moment I looked up when my mother asked me to look at the scenery. Having gone through the mountains, no doubt it would have been stunning.

But then... I wasn't sure what I had seen.

A shadow, demon perhaps.

It jumped in front of our car and my father slammed on the breaks.

I don't remember much after that, it all happened so fast, but I do know the car spun out and we fell over the side.

How terrifying it had been, every crash, every tumble, every little feeling until the car hit the ground. And me... I don't know how I had survived, but I couldn't feel anything anymore.

I couldn't feel... Anything.

The car in shambles, the door crushed into itself. I pushed on it, but it didn't budge. Then I tried hitting it, and punching it. Finally, a blow to the glass shattered the window open. I tried to move, but I couldn't. I couldn't move my legs at all. I didn't have a choice...

I felt the broken glass dig into my fingers and arms as I pulled myself out. Oh, how I wanted to scream, how badly I desired to cry out as I dragged my body out of the broken window. I was in so much pain once I fell to the ground, I couldn't even muster the energy to scream though. I could only lie on the ground, legs lifeless, bleeding scars across my body from the glass, and probably so many broken bones that I lost any feeling. I shouldn't... I shouldn't be alive.

And in this case, as the silence dragged from minutes to hours, on to the middle of the night, I could tell. I just knew they were dead.

In that moment, I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I didn't realize I was actually crying though until the taste of salt touched my lips.

Why was I allowed to live when they had to die? Why did I have to lose everything?

I may as well wait here until I'm taken too.

Then I felt something. Something soft, something comforting. It touched my shoulder, as a mother would.

I heard a voice but... I couldn't focus on it. I was hurting too much, to focus my attention on a voice was near impossible.

But I felt myself being lifted from the ground and a blinding light flashing in my eyes.

This is... No, no, I don't want this.

I don't want to be saved, I wanted to die with them!

I tried to struggle but I could barely move. The most I could muster was turning my head to the accident. Men in dark suits were tearing our car apart.

The last thing I saw before the ambulance doors shut was my parents' bodies being dragged from the crash.

I couldn't even see my baby brother before I was taken away... Perhaps it was for the best though, I didn't think I could stand the sight of his body being pulled from the wreckage.

How long did I sit though? No matter what they did, despite every injury they stitched up, how long I was lying in that hospital as they forced me back to health, they couldn't do anything about my legs.

Because my legs weren't the issue.

My spine, it was cracked in so many places, and... Something called spinal stenosis the doctor said. I... Didn't really know what that was but all I know for sure is that I would never move my legs again. I was too damaged for any sort of treatment for it, so that's how it had to be. I should be dead too.

I distinctly recall a team of doctors entering my room and circling around my bed. My confusion and worry melted into hope when one of them smiled. He set a hand on my leg and told me the news; that science had finally achieved total spine replacement surgery, and it would work exactly like my original one. Then he asked me to be their first test subject.

What else could I say but yes?

So here I was, locked down to a cold table with surgeons all around me.

"Alice." One asked. I merely replied in a hum. It wasn't worth talking, and not like it was easy to when my face was pressed against a metal surface. My back was exposed to them and I laid on my stomach, that didn't make being pinned down any less uncomfortable though.

"Can you tell me about yourself?" He picked up a needle to the table next to me.

What do I say?

"I... I like soccer and going shopping."

"That's very nice." He didn't really seem to care as he turned around and injected my arm. I couldn't help a flinch but it didn't hurt very much.

"And what do you like to go shopping for?" I thought I saw his eyes flash but... Maybe I was imagining it.

"For clothes and-" I was suddenly feeling dizzy with exhaustion. "And..." What was I saying again?

It was going black.

.....

......

........

I hurt.

What was wrong with me?

What happened to me?

My body-

I quickly sat up and was immediately hit with the scent of blood. I nearly gagged at the overwhelming stench.

My eyes snapped around the room, but I couldn't believe what I was actually seeing.

Red, red, red blood, red everywhere.

Bodies of men in white, they were torn open, shredded like livestock.

I wanted to vomit seeing their organs pouring out of their bodies. What happened here?

A pain brought my attention to my own body where I could see a long scar across my stomach. As carefully as I could, I traced a finger over it and then... I twitched my toes.

Was it a success? I could move, I could actually move my legs, but I couldn't think about that now with all this death around me. I swung my legs over the table and hopped down to the floor. My bare feet quickly hit the puddles of blood and I couldn't help but cringe.

I took a step, then another, careful to avoid stepping on anyone's... Innards.

I felt like I should be afraid but it was all so... Surreal. It didn't feel like any of this was possible. Their dead eyes and gaping mouths, like they were screaming for help when this happened.

Another step to the door led to a slip and a painful fall into gore. It felt sticky, smelled ghastly, and in the dark, it pooled like ink. I couldn't help but groan out in that instant but my insides felt... Off. I didn't know how to describe it. Raw, perhaps.

Not quite right like that feeling you get when you're sick, or how you feel when you get off an intense rollercoaster.

Neither of those perfectly described it though. Perhaps I felt empty, but that couldn't be the case though, could it?

I started to pull myself up when I felt something even stranger. My body...

I looked down to the scar once more, but...

I wanted to scream as well.

It had split open, and despite no blood seeping out of me, I could see everything. I pulled back more, and my body stretched with me. What... What is this!?

I heard something metal pop inside me and as I dragged myself back, it seemed like it would never end. Right down the center of my body, I was cut in two, and a thick metal pole was holding me together. Was this... Was this my new spine?

I had to take a closer look. It didn't... It didn't hurt, I don't think it did at least. Odd spikes stuck out of the pole, but perhaps the most noticeable thing was my lack of organs. Did they take them? My stomach, my intestines, kidneys, nothing was there!

I was truly empty, but how was I alive? This wasn't possible, there was no way this could be possible.

What... Am I?

I tried to back up more only to be halted when I touched a stagnant body. By mere reflex, I recoiled.

Did... Did I do this? Did I kill them? Maybe I was some kind of monster that lost control! But... No, that wouldn't make any sense. I was still sprawling in the same place until I woke up, and I had been clean of blood.

If it wasn't me, who killed them? Who did this to me?

Was it the same person? Was it even a person?

I pulled myself up once more, finding it to be a little more than merely awkward when my body was so tall.

Once I made it to my feet, I made my way to the door. I would find someone, explain everything, beg for help. It was... Somewhat painful to walk like this, and I was too tall for the door. God... What did this to me?

I still didn't understand at all. I felt sticky with blood and finally dropped myself to tread on all fours. This was a little less painful if probably embarrassing had someone been walking behind me.

Well... I shouldn't think about that.

I needed to find help.

The hospital corridor didn't look at all how I remembered it though.

The dark ambiance reminded me of a horror movie. All the lights were out, it was dead silent. At first glance, you would think they were just closed but did hospitals even close? And if it was anything like the room I woke up in... No, I didn't want to think about that. There had to be someone living!

I trudged on, the darkness eloping me further like the hallways were endless.

The only sound was the clanking of metal within me and the pattering of my own hands and feet.

What am I supposed to do? Do I even look human? I didn't have the time to think about that.

Just when I had decided to give up and return to the first room, I saw something odd.

Something that just didn't quite fit in, no matter how you looked at it.

A figure of a person, that much as sure, but just a figure, still as a statue.

"H-Hello?" I tried to peer closer but I couldn't see any more details but the shape of their body. The figure suddenly moved, turned ever so slowly and entered the room it stood next to.

I broke into a run, hoping to catch them. A real person? A doctor, a patient, or-

When I entered the room, the figure stood in the center, eyes gleaming, staring right through me. Then they just vanished like a ghost...

-Something else.

And so I was alone in the hospital room, but this one was slightly different than before. Not a surgical room, but a tall mirror splayed against the wall.

As I etched closer, I began to have doubts. Do I even want to see what I look like?

It would probably scare myself...

But I had to know, I had to see for myself what I had become.

And so I did, I moved to the mirror and right at that moment, a ceiling light flickered on and I could see my own body.

How grotesque I looked, twisted like some kind of monster. My skin sickly pale and tainted grey... Probably from my lack of blood.

I could see right through my body, there was truly nothing there between my legs and stomach.

My hospital gown was covered in scarlet red, my short brown hair looked ragged, as though I hadn't brushed it in days.

I looked, and felt, disgusting.

What am I? What am I supposed to be?

A monster, a demon, a nightmare?

Hell, I could be all three, and being covered in blood... It was hard to convince even myself that I wasn't evil.

Then something appeared in the mirror that made me jump back, but that didn't do anything to it. The figure, leering over me with a twisted grin, and shining eyes.

I couldn't... I couldn't move.

"What is that you see?" An echo of a voice asked, like the wind carried it past me.

"I...I..." No... I shouldn't answer. I shouldn't tell this creature what I see. Don't look at myself, only look at the creature's reflection, his shadow with tiny black flecks popping off his body like he was made of bubbles.

'Who are you. What is it you want?" I tried to keep my voice clear but it was probably obvious I was shaking. Was this thing responsible for all of this?

Then something flashed in my mind.

The surgeon's eyes before I fell asleep, I thought I had been imagining it but they're... Exactly like this shadow's.

Shining red like two evil little stars.

I turned around quickly to face him but he was already gone.

"Look at yourself." Despite not seeing him, I could hear his voice clear as day.

For half a second, I thought I saw something move across the ceiling but it was already gone when I turned my head.

"You're a monster. How are you still alive? Humans would bleed out dead, and yet here you are-"

I could feel my heart racing and backed away. Where was he? What is he? What do I do?

"-Thriving! And all without blood pumping through your body or even half your organs. You're a filthy monster. You're a monster now, and you were a monster the day your little family crashed. You should have been long dead. Yet you keep coming back."

I looked around the room for something to defend myself with when something dawned on me. "How... How do you know about the accident?"

Without warning, the creature manifested right in front of me, almost making me fall back. It giggled, like a little child.

"How wouldn't I?" It set its hands on my shoulders then suddenly pushed down. I winced but then realized I was lowering to the ground. It was... Pushing me back together. But why?

When my two halves reconnected, it grinned.

"I'm a demon, chaos among humans is my job." His voice grew quiet. "Yes, I caused the crash that killed your family, and I also killed all those doctors and dragged you down here. And where is here, you may be wondering-?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing...

"You killed them, you killed my parents, you killed my baby brother!" I tried to swing a punch but it merely faded right through him like I was punching the air. With another grin, the shadow vanished only for his voice to echo once more.

"Only magic can kill a monster, especially one like me... Or you. I've dragged you down to hell with me. Or more specifically, the monster world. Right where you belong. With killers. That's what you are, aren't you?"

"No-!"

"Oh, but how can that possibly be true? You're soaking in blood without a second thought. And who would want to be friends with that terrible body of yours? Don't you want to hurt others?"

I can't stand this, fighting with someone I can't even see while he says all these terrible things!

I just wanted to be normal, to be happy, and this... Thing destroyed everything!

An awful demon, a putrid creature, a maniacal masochist of a monster.

Without warning, it was sudden, like the feeling you get when you're suddenly jolted out of sleep, but in this case, I was awoken into another nightmare. A neverending nightmare.

A shrill scream, almost like a whistle was blown. A woman, most likely.

Another human! And maybe they needed help. I could save them, I can prove to this demon I'm not the monster he says I am!

I hurried out the room as fast as I could, still a little unsteady with walking. It had been so long, I nearly forgot what having legs felt like... If this even counts. How it is possible to use them at all?

But then I realized... I had no idea where that scream came from. Where do I go?

It didn't take long to find out once the scent of blood hit my nose though.

That irony scent led me down the halls, and as it did, the stronger it became. Oh no... Was I too late?

It seemed the strongest as I passed one of the many patient rooms. The door was shut tight with no hints of opening, but someone was here, whether alive or dead, someone was here.

"Plans?" The whispering voice suddenly appeared once more. "I'm sure you don't know the extent of your own power. Go ahead and stretch out again."

It sounded crazy, absolutely crazy. But... Maybe I should listen just this one time. I pushed my upper half up until I could do it no more, revealing the metallic pipe and spikes from inside.

"Control it. Use your body." The demon touched my shoulder with icy fingers. "This is yours. You have total power."

What does he want me to do? Control it? Control what? I don't understand at all.

I reached down and felt the spikes sticking out. And when I touched them... I could feel them. Like they were really a part of my body. "Did you... Do this to me?" I looked to the demon who merely grinned.

No response, not unexpected.

My hand wrapped around one of the spikes and I pulled. As easy as opening a water bottle, the spike was ripped from the pipe, attached with a long cord.

I felt something in the spike, something...

Can I really control this?

And so I tried, as though I was trying to move my hands, and the spike did move, cord along with it.

It was almost like I was controlling it with my mind, and I was, technically, moving it like a limb.

I pulled out the other spikes and without wasting time, stabbed them all into the door. They slid through easily, sending pieces of wood in all directions. The spikes were like arrowheads, and when I pulled back, the door ripped off the hinges before I tossed it aside.

"I did it..." I looked to the demon once more but he had vanished.

Well, I could forget about him. I wasn't really sure how to retract my spikes back into my body, so I dropped them, letting them merely drag behind me as I entered the room. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

"Help..." A weak voice whined from behind one of the dividing curtains.

"I'm... I'm here. Don't be scared, okay?"

The woman didn't reply after that; I hope everything will be alright. As I passed the curtain, I could see the small woman lying on the hospital bed. The white sheets dripped with red that seeped out of her stomach. Her eyes were closed but I could tell she was still alive by the slow rise and fall of her chest.

"She's... She's human. Why is a human in the monster world?" I looked around for the demon but he too, was silent.

I reached close and tried to peer closer to see exactly what was wrong. It was difficult to pinpoint with so much blood but it looks like whatever did this to her cut deep enough for her intestines to be pushing through the wound. How terrible...

"What do I do?" I tried looking around for stitches or something but I wasn't a doctor. What would a doctor do in this situation? What was I supposed to do!?

"Kill her." The demon, without warning, manifested on the other side of the bed. "Take the life of this meek little human. She's not worth anything."

No, I wasn't going to do that, I wasn't going to just end her life!

The more I stared down at her, the more I saw the weakness across her face.

The wincing pain, too weak to even cry.

Oh... How I knew what that felt like...

I reached close, I wanted to touch her.

But then she opened her eyes, glazed and tired, and she saw me.

The woman saw me and she screamed once more. A piercing, blood-curdling scream for my body, and I reacted without thinking. I drove the spikes through her body, I felt them squish inside her, ripping her organs apart, crushing her.

How could she scream at me... When I was trying to help her!? Why did she want to hurt me? Why did she scream and fear me? Why did it feel so... So good to end her cries?

I could see her eyes roll back and the red liquid drip out of her mouth.

Her fingers twitched but she couldn't fight back against me...

When I pulled my spikes back out, a rain of blood circled around me, and left gaping holes inside her. The woman stopped moving but... I was mad.

I wanted her body to keep hurting.

"Go ahead." That demonic voice was in my head, only in my head, I couldn't see the creature any longer. "You're hungry, aren't you? Rip her to shreds. Devour her very soul. You are a monster, a powerful, bloodthirsty monster now."

Yeah...

Okay, how could I refuse?