Teenage Dirtbag

I watched my mother in awe as she slammed a piece of paper in front of me. It was the first day of summer vacation, and she was al-ready pissed at me. I wish my dad wasn't gone on his business trips so much, so he would keep her sane.

''What's this?'' I asked with my mouth full of Lucky Charms cereal.

'THIS is your report card from sophomore year, princess.''

I hated to be called princess. It made me sound girly, which I was not. I loved to skateboard instead of going shopping, I loved to read books instead of partying and going out with friends and I definitely loved plying with my dog instead of making out with some guy. I tried it once, at a party, and I al-most ended up in the hospital because I choked on his tongue.

''So?'' I asked again, leaning in to see what she was pointing at.

''Nothing above B.''

''Look at it this way, nothing below C except of English.''

She pulled the sheet of paper back, making a disgusted face. Oh, how she loved plying the drama queen.

''You're drooling milk all over the paper." she spat.

''Well if it's such a shitty report card, then why do you care?'' I mumbled wiping the table off with my sleeve.

''Because you're average.''

I gulped down the cereal, almost having a heart attack when it went down the wrong pipe. ''Is that a bad thing?''

She expected me to be perfect. Like those girly girls you would see on TV with loads of makeup, hair extensions and grades as high as their heels. I wore makeup, because I got insecure of my face and body (who didn't?) and sometimes I would dye my hair in different colors, but I would never wear extensions. Imagine choking on fake hair as the wind slaps you in the face. No thank you.

''I want you to be above average." she continued, picking at a stain of dirt on the table.

''You mean perfect.'' I corrected her, slightly angry that she com-plained. I could be doing drugs or shag a guy every night. Didn't she realize how lucky she was?

She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off by jumping up from my seat and pulling my sweatshirt down. Oh, and she hated the fact that I wore sweatshirts. It was too 'boyish' for her. Ever since my brother left for college two years a-go (he was the perfect kid by the way), she wanted to turn me into him.

Sometimes she would tell me I'm useless- which to be quite honest I was- but it didn't bother me. I never really cared about other people's opinions.

''Well school's over already so there's nothing you can do a-bout it. Now can I go out and skate-''

''I've had enough of your moods, Delilah!''

I winced at her calling me by my middle name. Not many people knew about my middle name, mainly because I hated it. But my mother didn't care about my humiliation, she always called me 'Delilah' when she was angry, which was all the time.

''What moods mother?'' I spat annoyed.

''You're constantly grumpy! Maybe you should get some friends!''

I pressed my lips into a thin line. She did not. Fuck you, I thought as I stomped up the stairs, slamming the door behind me. I jumped on my bed and yelling into my pillow as loud as I could, getting all my anger out. This was going to be a long summer.

Two hours later, I was on my bed, with the laptop on my lap, browsing through my Tumblr dashboard. A lot of teen-agers saw the summer as an opportunity to have fun, go to par-ties and get drunk. I, however, spent my summers inside on my MacBook, occasionally going out just to skateboard or on a walk with Tony, my Bulldog puppy.

"Renee Delilah Parker get your arse down here this very second!" my mother screamed from downstairs.

I loudly groaned and stomped down the stairs, angry that she made me go up and down the stairs five times an hour.

"What now?"

"Take a seat," she said pointing to the seat, the one I'd previously sat on. I crossed my arms over my chest, raising my eyebrows, not moving from my spot in the doorframe.

"What."

"You're going to spend your summer at your grandma's, in Mullingar."

"No I'm not." I spoke, poking the inside my cheek with my tongue.

"We're leaving with the bus in two days."

"I'm not leaving...no." I muttered. When, how, why and who made this decision? I was not going to go to Ireland, I mean, leave London and go to a small town I'm not a bitch, don't get me wrong, but I could bet my skateboard there was no Wi-Fi and no skate park whatsoever.

"You are and it's final."

"And what if I don't?"

"I will confiscate your laptop, phone, dog, skateboard, books and iPod for the rest of the summer."

"But-"

"Your choice princess."

I wanted to smack her head into a wall. Why did she have to be so annoying? Ugh, I hated her sometimes

"You better go pack," she sang in that high-pitched voice of hers and I bit my lip, holding back an exasperated scream. This was going to be a long summer.

***

"Moooom." I whined for the fourth time on the bus ride from the Ferryboat to Mullingar.

"What?" she snapped.

"Can you PLEASE give me something to eat? I'm starving."

She looked down at me, raising one of her eyebrows. "You sure? Cause you've been getting a bit curvy lately."

It was like a stab to my chest. She could insult me on my behavior, my grades and my fashion sense, but not on my weight. That was a sensible subject for me, since I had an Eating Disorder when I was 12.

"Nevermind." I mumbled. There it was again, the feeling of needing to lose weight. If I relapsed and started starving myself again, I wasn't going to be able to stop.

We arrived in a taxi to my grandma's house an hour later. The street was nice, it had tidy lawns and perfect houses, like those you saw in the typical American movies.

The houses did not have a fence whatsoever, I guess people where comfortable with each other in the neighborhood.

"OHMYGOD REYREY!"

I cringed at the high-pitched voice coming from the house next to me. My lovely (slutty) cousin Katherine (who like to be called Kitty because she was-and I quote- "Like an animal in bed") made her way towards me, in her short pink skirt, her pink high heels and her white crop top.

She clearly had extensions, because her hair cascaded down her shoulders and almost reached her bum. She wore a lot of makeup, and smelled like cigarettes, boy cologne and some really girly perfume that made your eyes (and nose) bleed.

I noticed she had A LOT of tattoos. A lot of things change in a year I see...

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!" she said hugging me. She had to lean down so she could kiss both of my cheeks. Her tall 5'9 (in heels) frame towered over my small 5'2.

"Oh god your tits are bigger! And you gained some weight! Wow!"

I scrunched my nose. Another weight comment. And my tits are bigger? Wow, she was such a slag.

My grandmother came out with a baseball bat in her hand, wearing her usual Adidas outfit, followed by my frowning grandfather, who had his hands in his pockets and a pipe in his mouth.

"Delilah! How lovely that you will spend your summer here!" grandma said and hugged me. Why was she calling me by my middle name? She knew I didn't like it. And what was up with the baseball bat? Was she on drugs?

"What's with the bat mom?" my mother asked as grandpa helped her with the suitcases. We paid the taxi driver and grandpa went inside with the luggage, mumbling about how I was carrying rocks, whilst 'us girls'-as Katherine said- sat on the front porch, catching up on some 'girl talk'.

"How is Katherine doing?" my mom opened up a discussion.

"Who?" I asked confused.

Grandma pointed with her bat to the house across from us. "She's good, but her younger son is driving them insane. She got married last year."

"Little Nathan?" my mom asked in disbelief.

I had no idea what they were talking about. Who was Little Nathan?

"Ha!" grandma snorted swinging her bat, almost hitting a flowerpot. She was crazy, that's for sure. I pulled my legs up on the chair and my eyes drifted to Katherine's lap. She had her phone in hand and she was texting someone. I almost gasped when I saw the text she just received.

u shud send me another naked pic babe ;) gets me hard everytime

Who was she talking to? Oh my God.

"He's not Little Nathan anymore. You should see him; he's like 6'3. Those innocent blue eyes are now darker and that short brown hair he had is now either pink, purple, green, blue or blond. And it's sticking in every direction when it's not under one of his dirty caps. And his arms! Oh God! He always wears tank tops, showing off his disgusting tattoos. His arms and chest are full. I'm not going to continue, I might gag."

"Wow." my mother breathed. "Sounds awful."

"It is. And he's always home late, making a lot of noise when he's drunk with a lady companion attached to his hip. And he rides a motorcycle."

"A what?" my mom asked in disbelief.

"He has a motorcycle.," my grandma said in a oh-my-god-you-will-not-believe-this tone. "And he's creeping all day, sit-ting on his porch smoking or drinking. I think he's watching young girls around the neighborhood changing in their rooms. And don't even get me started on his tongue."

I looked at her, shocked. His tongue?

"He has a tongue piercing, and a lip piercing and a brow piercing! It's so disgusting! I mean it's not enough that he speaks with disrespect to everyone, but he also has that metal in his mouth, I don't even know how he eats. Oh, and his cute crooked teeth? They're straight now; he wore braces for two years. Trust me girls, he's never going to step on my ground."

Mom gasped and I rolled my eyes. However, I disliked this Nate character, he seemed intimidating, and I would for sure be all shy around him, that is, if I would ever meet him, which I didn't plan to.

"So that's why you're carrying a bat mom?" my mother asked her mother.

Grandma nodded. "You never know with that guy. He's scum."

After that, mom went to bed because she left early in the morning, and grandma offered to make us some tea-which we kindly denied because her tea's were the worst-, leaving me and Katherine alone on the love seat.

"He's not that bad you know."

"Who?"

"Nate."

I shrugged.

I don't know him, I don't care about him and I don't plan on meeting him.

"He's like, cool, really cool, and he's like hot you know? Like, really hot."

What was with the word 'like'? Was she retarded or something? I mean, I know her parents died when she was little so she lived with her grandparents but that doesn't give her the right to speak like that or to show me a picture of a-

"Penis!" I said covering my eyes.

She let out a high-pitched laugh, touching her chest with her manicured nails that were the color pink, shocker.

"God, you need to be more mature. Some may think you are a virgin."

That's because I am you bitch.

She pointed to the penis on her phone; it was long, sitting up and- hard.

"This is Nate."

My mouth fell agape as I looked elsewhere. She announced that she had closed the photo so I looked back at her. Where did the innocent girl from a year ago go? The girl I would paint my toenails and look through Ikea catalogs with? She changed.

"So you know Nate?"

"I've been friends with him since I was fifteen. And a year ago I've become..." she trailed off.

"Become what?" I pushed, actually eager to find out what she was talking about.

"Friends with benefits." she whispered, her candy breath hitting my face. I wouldn't be surprised if she pooped rainbows and burped fairy dust.

"What's that?" I asked confused. What the hell did that mean? Don't laugh at me, I've never heard of it.

She laughed. "It means when you're having sex with someone but there are no strings attached. No feelings. And you're not together, which means you can hook up with a lot of people. But basically you fuck with your FWB more than with those other people, like girl, you got a problem."

What? 'Girl'? Was she on crack? God, it's like she's a whole different person now. I hated it.

"So what do you do on your spare time in this little town?" I asked leaning into the loveseat, trying to make myself comfortable. I could hear the crickets so I closed my eyes for a second.

"Well we have Wi-Fi if that's why you're asking. But there's a lot you can do. There's a big aqua park, the beach is an hour away, we go every Saturday. And there's a skate park if you're interested...and a public pool...and at night we go to parties."

"We?" I asked confused. She couldn't mean grandma, could she?

"The whole neighborhood. Nate, Jade, Jake and I."

I knew all of them, except of Nate. I mean, I used to see him on the playground in the summer when we were kids, but that was ten years ago. I remember his crooked teeth, his blue eyes and-

My train of thoughts was interrupted when I heard a motorcycle coming down the street. It was a guy, and he had a black Motorhead helmet and a black leather jacket on. He stopped in the driveway across the street and got off the motorcycle, before taking his helmet off and ruffling his hair.

His hair was blonde with pink highlights. His dark jeans hugged his long, skinny legs perfectly and his white Vans were now grey. He looked over at us before he did a double take.

He shot Katherine a quick wave and winked at her, before his eyes landed on me. I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious as he stared, before he put his helmet on the motorcycle's handles and started walking towards us.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as he set his legs on our porch and came over. Katherine squealed and stood up. Even with her heels on, he was still taller than her.

I was surprised when they kissed each other, and I almost gagged when I saw his right hand go under her skirt.

"Sit down Ni." she said and he took her place, pulling her over his lap. I tried to ignore the fact that his knee was touching mine.

"Who are you?" he asked.

His voice was husky and had a very strong Irish accent. I noticed a tongue piercing in his mouth, just like my grandma said. His usual crooked teeth were straight now and his hair was thick, flying in every direction, his brown roots barely visible.

He smelled like cigarettes and cologne, which, may I add, was a total turn off. Not that I knew much about it.

He was intimidating and made me blush when he looked down at me, at my cleavage to be more specific. Not that I showed too much, because I was wearing a Justin Bieber sweatshirt.

"You like Justin Bieber?" he asked in a mocking tone.

He was talking to me. His breath smelled like cigarette. He turned to Katherine.

"Is she mute?"

Katherine rolled her eyes and swung her legs over my lap too. Ew. No.

"I'm Renee."

"Renee?"

"Renee Delilah Parker." Katherine said and I wanted to strangle right then and there. This was so embarrassing.

"Delilah?"

I nodded, my cheeks heating up. Then his eyes drifted to my cheeks, my cleavage my thighs and came back to my eyes. Then he turned to Katherine.

"We going babe?"

She nodded and he stood up, setting her on her feet.

"If grandma asks, I'm out with Jade."

I nodded. Nate didn't even bother to look back at me. He simply walked down the street to his motorcycle and put his helmet on. She climbed on behind him, hugging his torso.

I spoke before I could think:

"Shouldn't you give her your helmet?"

They looked at me. She laughed and he spoke, without turning his head:

"No one wears this helmet."

And with that he took off, the sounds of his motorcycle now a distant echo in the darkness. I sighed and stood up, before I went inside to find my grandfather watching Wheel Of Fortune and my grandma in the kitchen, looking out the window.

"The Shelley's are fighting again." she spoke without looking at me. Her neck was stretched out and she was sipping from her cup as she watched the two adults yelled at each other in their backyard.

That's when I knew that my grandmother was that one lady that always knew the latest gossip of the neighborhood.

I changed into my pajamas and slipped under the duvet. My mom luckily let me bring my laptop with me, and I had free Wi-Fi from the house across the street. It was named 'Nate', but as long as he didn't know about me using his free Internet, no harm would be done.