Not Giving Up On Love BOOK 1

Does it ever cross your mind how can some people easily give up on their love? Is it wrong to give up when the expected result is good?

Loving is always taking a risk but it's not just about love. Everything we do has no assurance. Every day, we are taking a risk.

I must say that there are different kinds of bravery in terms of love. There is no such thing as a weak person. Most of us can feel the tiredness so we have the right to pause for a while and recharge our strength but recharging doesn't mean you are weak . . . meaning to say there is no such thing as a weak person.

You are not weak. You can definitely take a rest. It's also up to you when will you come back. Just promise that will you be back, okay?

Taking a break is not a sign that you are a loser because you can always come back. But the thing is . . . you also have no assurance that something or someone is still waiting for you when you come back.

It's messy, right? That's how our life is complicated.

I have a question. How will you know if you need to give up and let go of your love for someone?

Is it you who gave up or is it them who gave up on you?

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Lauren's POV

I was alone in my apartment. No work today. No school stuff to do. No Kelly being noisy, I'm pretty sure that she's enjoying his boyfriend's company. I rolled my eyes by just thinking about it since she is now prioritizing his boyfriend over me. That's me being a jealous best friend.

But today is my rest day and me time. It's just me! I was bored in my apartment so I decided to take a walk around the park which is near in my apartment just to overcome my boredom. I knew that there were a lot of kids playing around and I enjoy watching them because I simply love kids. It came across my mind that being a kid is actually a nice experience to look back. A kid only thinks about being happy while playing with friends. A kid would be so happy with the simple things.

I was happy when I was a kid. Why is it hard for me to be happy right now? It feels like my problems are endless.

Being an adult makes you think about everything. Even someone's problem can affect you as a person. It's hard to be an adult especially if you are affected by those problems. I wished I am still a kid. I wish I can be a kid forever and it makes me naive to think about something that is obviously impossible. That I why I love watching kids, they can easily make you happy with their smile and innocence.

But today is not my lucky day because there are only few kids in the park so I arranged my cell phone and earphones so I can happily listened to a lively music to forget my boredom while watching those few kids playing around the park.

I remember that park is my favorite place when I was young, we are always complete whenever we visit this kind of place. My parents would take a day off just to be with me and my brother and to have a bonding moment. That was definitely the best and happiest days of my life.

Maybe I look stupid here because I'm smiling while looking around. As I'm scanning the people in the park I've noticed a guy and he is smiling while looking at me. Oh, great! I thought it would be relaxing even just a little to be with my favorite place but seeing him made it hard for me to feel relax. He is my annoying schoolmate and it's more annoying that is he smiling at me!

I don't like him being near with me that's why I always try my best to avoid him but it seems that destiny always find its own way for us to cross our paths. When I mentioned destiny, it is not in a romantic way!

He was distracted by the girls surrounding him but I have a bad feeling about his smile. As I watch him flirting with those girls, all of them suddenly turned their heads to look at me and he is still smiling . . . but that smile is a naughty smile. Meaning to say, he is planning about something bad . . . bad for me ! After that, all of the girls flirting with him disappeared.

I turned off the music because he was close and he would definitely make a noise again.

"What did you say to your girls? Why those girls left?" I greeted him with that question.

"I introduced you as my girlfriend and told them that you hate seeing me with someone and you are chasing the woman talking to me," he answered while sitting comfortably beside me. Why does he need to be fragrant? "You know, you are effective at scaring them, huh? You actually scared them so they left without saying a word," he added, being proud of himself that he used me again as his shield to avoid those girls.

"You're such a user," I commented.

"But you are not complaining," he said while smiling.

"Excuse me? How many times I've told you to stay away from me? They might really think that I'm really your girlfriend!"

He laughed. "And do you think it will be your disadvantage between the two of us if they really think that you are my girlfriend?" That's him being a proud arrogant. I rolled my eyes on him and he smoothly changed the topic. "Why are you alone? Where is my sister? Why aren't you with her?" He is referring to Kianna, his sister who happened to be my friend. Kelly is my best friend and her boyfriend is Dan who happened to be Ezekiel's best friend who happened to be Kianna's brother. Is it cool? We are all connected.

Everyone is calling him Kiel but I'm calling him Ezekiel because he is calling me Lauren while everyone is calling me Renren. It's another cool stuff, right? That's how we annoyed each other.

"Kianna is not with me because it's obvious, she's with his boyfriend." Of course, that statement is just a joke to piss him off. I can also mess around, thanks to him! The expression on his face changed immediately. He is serious when I'm talking about Kianna having a boyfriend so I told him that I was just messing with him. "I was just kidding. Why do you have to ask about it? We don't always need to be with each other. Duh, should we always be together?"

"The intensity of your resentment is unreachable." He laughed after saying that statement. Our conversation is done so I stand up and started leaving the park but he still follows me. He likes annoying me and little by little I would think that this guy actually likes me. He is popular with the ladies and I don't understand why he is wasting his time introducing me to them that I'm his girlfriend to make an excuse for others to stay away when he can say if he didn't like someone directly to them. I remembered hearing his reasons with them like I'm his girlfriend, we have a date so he's not allowed to be with them and we are arguing because I'm possessive with him! How annoying is that? But it's more annoying that they were convinced with those nonsense reasons! I am sometimes rude with Ezekiel but not with other people.

I looked at him and asked, "Aren't you and your friends going anywhere? Why are you here and making yourself busy teasing me?"

"Would you be happy if I tell you that I chose to be with you?" I stopped after hearing what he said. I had goose bumps! I blankly stared at him which made him laughed. He thought I was being affected by those pick-up lines that he is obviously using on other women!

"I can't be carried away by that, Ezekiel. Aren't you tired of annoying me?"

"No, you are fun to watch," he admitted and laughed. He is happy when he is with me especially when he succeeds in ruining my day.

I can no longer control him so I let him do what he wants to do. I will just get tired of explaining and talking to him to stop annoying me.

Shit! I stopped walking when I suddenly feel dizzy, my vision darkened and I don't clearly hear the sounds around me. Until I felt like I had lost my balance.

WHEN I OPENED MY EYES I had a headache but I managed to scan the room and this is definitely not my room. This room is clean, well organized and the color of the background is color black that made this room looked classy. Upon getting up I suddenly felt dizzy and saw Ezekiel as he enters the room while carrying some foods.

I stood up to walk but I had lost my balance again since I'm still too weak to walk and I still feel a little bit dizzy but Ezekiel was there to support me to maintain my balance.

"What are you doing? Can you be more careful? I'm not yet asking you to leave. Are you okay? You still look pale." He asked one after another so how am I able to answer it?

I sat on the bed. I was wondering why he brought me here. I can lay down anywhere. I scanned the room again, it must be his room. When my eyes saw the food he was carrying a while ago, I remembered that I had not yet eaten lunch. What the heck, right? How can I forget that? Wait, no, maybe I ate but I ate a little just to tell myself that I ate already. It's kind of hobby as I do this often.

He must have noticed that I'm intensely looking at the food so he prepared it for me. It's quite embarrassing but upon seeing the food I'm suddenly hungry. He's watching while I'm eating.

"Are you that hungry?" he asked.

"Sorry, I forgot to eat." What a lame excuse!

"What kind of reason is that? It only means that you are not taking care of yourself."

"Stop acting like my big brother, I'm not Kianna so don't treat me that way."

"You are welcome," he replied sarcastically. Even though he annoys me all the time, he knew how to be a good brother with Kianna and sometimes he applies it in me, that is why Kianna is teasing me that we belong to each other because Ezekiel didn't act this way with his girls and I don't believe her because what I see is different from what Kianna sees. Just like her brother, she likes teasing me.

Ezekiel excused himself to go to the rest room of his room so I took the chance to eat fast because I was already embarrassed with this situation. Ezekiel said that Kianna was not here so I need to leave before she arrives but when I thought about Kianna, it is her queue to open the door for her to see me comfortably eating on his brother's room.

"Ate Renren?" She was surprised but also confused. She looks around and saw his brother just happened to come out of the rest room. She entered and closed the door. She calls me Ate since I'm older than her and it's a Filipino word to show some respect to someone even if you are not related to that person.

"Wait . . . what are you doing here?" she whispered. She is not mad that she saw me inside the room but she is just surprised and innocently wondering what am I doing on their house – on his brother's room to be specific. I'm also wondering why she is whispering right now.

"It's not what you think, Kianna. She fainted and it turns out that she forgot to have a lunch," Ezekiel answered for me. What is she thinking? Don't tell me he's bringing a woman to their house? Is Ezekiel bringing a girl inside his room? Well, I don't think Aunt Mads will allow that unless it's Ezekiel's girlfriend. Since Kianna and I are friends, I'm calling their mother Aunt to also show some respect.

"Again? You're really weird, Ate Ren." Sometimes, she talks to me as if she is older than me.

"What do you mean by again? Meaning to say, it's normal for her to forget to eat her lunch?" He was talking to Kianna as if I'm not sitting right in front of them. These two loves me that much, don't they?

"Yes, that's why I always invite her to eat with me so she couldn't forget it. She didn't like eating alone," Kianna answered. Well, that's true. It's hard to eat alone. I'm not used to and I don't want to get used to it.

I got up. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'm going home. I'm really sorry, it's embarrassing."

"Let me take you home," he offered.

"I can go home alone."

"Didn't you hear me? I said I'll take you home, right?" Geez! He is annoying! I'm planning to walk but he insisted to take me home so I need to get in the car. I said goodbye to Kianna. Fortunately, Aunt Madison is not here yet. I immediately got into his car. I put down the window just a little and he looks at me like he is questioning me with what I did.

"What are you doing? We're air-conditioned." I turned off the aircon so he wouldn't talk to me again.

"I don't like your perfume, my nose didn't like the scent. If you want, I will just walk."

"You don't like my . . . what?" He even smelled himself after asking me. "You have a problem with your nose." But he let me lower his car's window a little.

He was talking to me but it was about Kianna so we didn't argue about it. I was just looking outside while talking to him. He is not an arrogant driver. He is actually a careful driver which I didn't expect from him. Kianna suddenly called. I knew about it since his phone was connected on the car's blue tooth. I even saw what he registered on his phone with Kianna's number, Lil Sis. That's cute.

"What?" he greeted her sister as he answered the phone.

"Kiel!" I don't know but when we heard her voice, we suddenly look at each other. We are both wondering why she needs to shout.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I have a monthly period! Buy me a sandwich! I forgot it!" I laughed. This girl! We are thinking about a real emergency with the tone of her voice.

"You said you have a monthly period, right? Why do you want a sandwich then?" Oh, boy. I burst out laughing with his answer.

"You know it! It's the-" She was embarrassed, I can clearly hear that. I was laughing with their conversation that is why I speak up. "Kianna, I will help Ezekiel to buy it for you." Then we talked for a while. She is glad that I'm still with Ezekiel then she mentioned again that she is looking for a woman who will help his brother to change so Ezekiel ended the call. She reads a lot of books which makes her believe in such things.

The truth is this guy was approached with a lot of girls. My name is often used on campus when he wants to avoid those girls. I don't know what he says to women that they really got scared of me. I just let him do that because I told him a lot of times to stop using my name but he never listened.

"Why didn't she just say it directly?"

I smiled and answered, "She was embarrassed to you. Your little sister is still a woman."

"Whatever. Where are we going to buy it?" I pointed out to him the way to the nearest store.

AS I CHOOSE A brand, he is checking the other brands so the other shoppers are looking at him. Most of them still seem to be thrilled and some women approached us to talk to him.

He turned to me and looked at my hand. "What's with the pad with wings?" he asked, referring to the pad that I'm holding.

"Sshh! Just ask her. That's what you will buy for her when Kianna asked you to buy sandwich again." This is kind of awkward. He is asking too many questions!

"What size does she need?" I chuckled. Is he naive or what? I can't stop laughing out loud. The heck? What size? Is he serious?

"Why are you laughing?" he asked in astonishment.

"Just pick this kind of pad." I may not have stopped laughing if I will still entertaining the questions from him.

"I see." He said goodbye to get in the car first. I can still hear women talking about him. A woman even approached me to ask for his phone number which I didn't know so I can't give it to her. I just came out but I could clearly see what they were doing. The lady is leaning on Ezekiel's car and they are talking. It looks like they are almost kissing in extreme closeness to each other. By just looking at them, I knew that Ezekiel has a plan for that lady. I can't watch that so I just put what we bought in the car and left.

I didn't know he followed me. He grabbed me by the arm so I stopped and was forced to look at him. "Where are you going? You acted like a jealous girlfriend," he said and smirked.

"Why are you stopping me? You acted like a defensive boyfriend," I replied with a matching smirk too.

"Where are you going?"

"I can just walk from here. I guess you're a bit busy. My apartment is near here so I'll just walk. If you will kiss your girl, give her some respect."

He released me. "How can I respect someone who doesn't respect herself? Look at her . . . does she respect herself with what she's wearing? Besides, why are you angry?"

"Nothing! I'm leaving!"

"Go. I won't stop you!" I never heard "sorry" from him and I realized that some time of my life was also wasted because of this worthless person.

Renren, it's none of your business! Get back on your senses!

I don't see anything wrong with what she is wearing. It was short but that's how she expresses herself. You know that, don't you? They just have a weird brain and mindset and it is not the girl's mistake to wear what she wants! That's also how my best friend dressed herself. She likes wearing sexy dresses so if Ezekiel sees her, will he also think that she has no self-respect? He's irritating!