Mine: Feelings or Family?

"Close your eyes" a sturdy voice said from behind. "Find it with your mind's eye. Feel it with your heart." the voice continued. "It all depends on you and how you feel. Don't deny it. Relax. Open up. Follow it with your brain, see it with your mind's eye. Feel it with your heart. Listen to its rhythm."

"What can you see?" the voice asked.

" A man" I replied fearlessly and calmly. " A lonely man"

"How far away is he?"

"A few meters away from me"

"This is the break of your dawn. This is your calling" the voice said echoing and diminishing.

"Wake up. You have to meet your father today. Have you forgotten? Get ready to go to him. Don't forget to apply enough oil on your skin and shea butter in your hair. Wear the clothes on the table at the entrance." my grandmother said.

"Ok." I said half asleep.

It was all a dream. Whose voice, was that? Who was the man in her dream? Even though he was just a few meters away from me, he looked blurred. I liked his physique. He was tall and well built. Why was he lonely? And what was he doing in my dream? I wished I could go back to the dream world to find out more. After bathing, I applied lavender oil on my skin and shea butter to my hair. I took the pieces of clothes and wrapped them around my breast and my waist exposing my bare shoulders and tummy. The wrapping cloth for my waist was just a few inches above my knee. I felt the beads around my waist shake as I moved but I ignored them. My dark skin was glowing, even though the sun was not yet up.

"Nana, I am off" I told my grandmother.

"Ok, extend my greetings to your father"

"Ok, Nana".

My father's hut was just a few meters away from my grandmother and my hut. He doesn't live with any of his two wives even though he lives only a few meters away from their huts. His heart is a little bent towards me. My mother died a few months after she gave birth to me. My father and I lost her to a plague. He has been favoring me since then because he loved my mother deeply before she died.

"As early as always" Buka, my father said as he walked towards his hut. "You look more beautiful today. Hurry! Come in"

"Ok, papa" I said while entering his hut.

The sweet aroma of brewed pear and chrysanthemum flower greeted me. As always, his lantern was on but dimmed and his mat was rolled. He smiled at me and I smiled back. My father has proved himself to be tough and stern. He hardly smiles at me even though he was always calm in all his dealings with me. He is the general of the Wailand army and trains very hard even though he is aging.

"Papa, I heard you called for me"

"Yes, I did. Serve me some tea and let's talk."

He kept smiling at me and this made me confused. He hardly smiles let alone as wide as he was smiling now. What was he going to talk about? Why was he smiling broadly? Anyway, it will definitely be good news to have him smile like that. He had already brewed his tea, so i just took a teacup and filled it to its brim.

"Here you are, papa"

"Sit" he said as he took the teacup from me.

I sat down by turning my legs backward and sitting on my heels. I looked at him trying to figure out why he was smiling.

"I just noticed how beautiful you have become. If you want to know how your mother looked like, just stare at your reflection in still and clean water. You just like her. Very beautiful."

"Oh, papa" I said coyly.

"You are now a woman. I don't like the idea of you wielding a sword. I have trained you so that you can be happy. But it's time to move on. You are a woman. The performance of the customary rites and celebration ushering you into womanhood is only seven days from today. Prepare to move into your husband's house after the celebration"

"But papa, i don't want to get married now. You know i love to wield a sword and train with your men. You know me very well. Why now?"

"You're now a woman. You should start thinking of having a family. Don't worry, i won't send you off with just any man. I want the best for you."

"Papa, i said i don't want to marry now. I had my first ever period only last month and you are thinking of getting rid of me already" I said with tears trickling down my face.

"I have found you a wonderful suitor. The king has paid for your bride price for one of the princes" he replied ignoring my earlier comment.

I have been training with the fourteen older princes and we were friends. I even saw them as my brothers! They were handsome, skilled, and well trained. They were the dream men of women in the Wailand but not mine. I didn't know they badly wanted to call me sister-in-law.

"Which of the princes?"

I knew he wouldn't answer me because it was a tradition. I would know the person after the celebration, that's if i am lucky. Most girls don't see the men until the eve of their marriage.

"Is it Diemo? Zima? Ndaka? Mbigu? Shyade?" i asked desperately trying to see if his countenance will soften at the hearing of the name. But it was all in vain. "Go back home and get ready for the ceremony"

"Papa, can you re-think this decision? Kindly think of my interest too. I don't want to marry now. No, not now" i said as i stood up to leave.

I knew he had already made up his mind, nothing i would do will make him change his decision. Whoever it is, I will definitely find out during or after the ceremony. And i won't hesitate to walk to him to cancel our engagement since i don't want to marry now.