WARNING: MATURE CONTENT [ SPG | R18+ ] Anzai is a man who enjoys playing with people's emotions, but not until Psalm arrives, and her first priority is to graduate with honors in Latin. Can his feelings for the lady who only makes his heart race be used as motivation or a distraction?
Chapter 1 1
Living in this country without parents by your side is problematic. One wrong move, and you'll be given hurtful words right away, though I'm not hurt because I'm used to it. Bully there bully here because I don't have parents. Just stupid? How could I live here if I didn't have parents to make me?
Gratefully, my auntie raises me well, and I can still tell myself that somehow I am lucky. She's not the typical Aunt you see in soap operas; she doesn't enslave me or charges me with the money she spent on me.
My mother died while laboring me, and as for my dad, I don't know. I have no idea about him.
"Tell me more about him," I whispered to her the other day.
"Your brat niece of yours is weird, Juliette! That's all I know, Psalm, and then your father isn't my type for me to meddle with his life," she explained and grinned. "Get a saucer there and a fork; we'll eat! This is your favorite cake."
That's always the routine of the three of us, I ask them questions, and then they divert my question into another. I was enveloped in anger, and my brain was full of questions. Where was he when mom died? Why did he leave me? Why did they split up? Doesn't he like me? Is there anything else important in his life besides me?
I was in Grade 9 when I found out the whole truth about who I was. As I went downstairs carrying clothes that no longer fit me, from here, I heard Aunt Juliette and Aunt Sarra talking.
"I-I don't think so... I just don't?" Aunt Sarra laughed, obviously drunk.
"Sarra! Psalm might hear you!" I immediately stepped back when I heard my name.
"What n-now? She needs to know, Irene! I don't know why you're hiding the truth from her!"
Is my Aunt hiding something from me? What is it?
"I feel sorry for you; we're in the same boat..."
"We're different," My Aunt said emphatically.
I feel like they are hiding something from me. What is their secret? Is it too confidential and they can't tell me?
"And stop drinking; you're drunk already. You're here to sleep, and no matter what you do, I won't tell Psalm; she'll get hurt," her voice trailed off slightly. Her voice now mixes fear and sadness.
She doesn't want to hurt me? And when she keeps this a secret, does she think I'm not hurting?
"Damn it, Juliette," her friend laughed. "What if Psalm will know the truth to someone?"
"What do you want me to do, Sarra? Tell her; that Psalm is a product of a one-night stand. Don't be mad at your father, Psalm, and he should be mad at you because you're his fault? You're just a product of lust, Psalm! Is that so, Sarra? Is that what you want me to say to her" said Auntie, unable to control herself.
My life seemed to shake at what she said. I can't believe it! My brain can't process what I found out now. Slowly, one tear slid down my cheeks.
All the questions in my mind were answered by their conversation. Am I a mistake? Product of lust? Shit! Fuck! Damn! I want to say all the cheap here in the world.
"Psalm, you're about to ruin-"
I didn't finish listening to their conversation because hearing the truth was already painful, I was enveloped in anger for 15 years, but it was all in vain! Auntie is proper; my father should have been the right one to be mad at me because I'm about to ruin his family!
I ignored all my hard work in academics. The sweat and blood I risked, I missed it all. It is so disgusting to reminisce.
"Hey Olsen, want to join us?" my male classmate asked the other day.
"Where?" I was tired of asking them questions as I put away my belongings.
He grinned. "You already know that."
Bar again? Boring.
"Don't refuse, Olsen; you've already failed a major so just come with us."
I sighed; he's right. I'll get bored with Aunt Sarra's erotic movies if I go home.
I nodded. That day we unwound; I enjoyed that day. I have always been with them, and not a day goes by that I am not bored with them. They taught me how to smoke and drink.
Being with them is like you are uncaging the tiger you hide for long years.
"Nero's connections aren't a joke; he can let us in even if we're just a minor," Nikki laughed while keeping up with the music.
"There's a limited time for this! Maybe my daddy's friend will catch up with us; I'll get screwed," Nero replied.
We didn't stay long at that bar, Nikki didn't even want to go out, but Nero and Karyl forcibly pulled her away. We ended up barricading ourselves in the arcade. I don't like this, so I was just next to them and watching the four of them; the idiots were tipsy.
"Come in here, Psalm!" Nikki was with me. I just smiled and shook my head. "What killjoy woman!" he shouted and turned back to Nero.
That's how my day ended. They would have invited me to a movie at Nikki's house, but I refused. I don't want to spend the night on the road.
When I got home before entering the gate, I immediately snatched the candy from my pocket, I didn't know what this was for, but they said that my Aunt wouldn't notice me if I ate this. I'm just a trinary too. I was about to open the door when it suddenly opened, and Auntie Juliette came up to me with apparent anger.
"Where have you been?" she asked emphatically.
"At school, where else?" I asked cautiously and passed her.
"What a rotten mouth," Aunt Sarra said, glancing at me.
"School? You're not there," she pulled my wrist, stopping me from going upstairs. "What's wrong with you, Psalm?! You failed a subject, and it's a fucking major!" it was almost a yell.
I stare at her with blank emotions.
"How can you achieve your dreams-"
I violently pulled back my wrist and tried not to be offended by what she said. I averted my eyes when she saw my tears welling up.
"I don't have dreams anymore!" I told her coldly.
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