A tale of an arranged marriage

The duty of the only child is more than you can imagine. If it were that I was the only child by accident, then I would've struggled with all of my heart and maybe all I did would've been spiced up with smiles from the fact that I do what I want plus what my parent required from the only child. But me being the only child was their doing and it was on purpose, nothing hurt than knowing that what they did to me was on purpose. I lived my life with devices as my best friend and although they thought they were paying much attention on me, they were actually looking after themselves.

Well, I've grown up. Each day I grow to forgive them and I found the peace in being alone. So I grew up to find more comfortable and interesting strategies in being on my own, and I can never call it loneliness. The peace I get from my alarm each day, my morning prayers alone with me pouring my heart to God, my drive to work with a beautiful music or voice from the radio, and me finally at work, listening attentively to my receptionist, working on something new or having a good argument and mind pouring activity with my employees, and although I got many negations from them, I was their boss, whatever I said stood and if it failed or it turned out a success, I didn't mind taking the credit. Well I must appreciate my parent, however they trained me helped me become a man with wide, exceptional imaginations. I was too engrossed in my work and the future of my company that women were never my thing. Ella had told me in secondary school that I was very cute.

"But you're weird" she had added in a pout. "But I like you anyway"

As much as I liked her first comment, the second had spoilt her third sentence. I thought I was unique not weird.

"I think you're weird too" I told her and her face gave out as output a confused frown. "And I don't like you"

So many people heard me and my fame spread, and girls backed off and I was cool with that. In the university I held to my pastor's advice, I stood out. Standing out was my profession anyway but I put in more effort at the university. I was always in the library or at the cafeteria. I avoided friends that were not like me and I graduated with a first class result in Computer science. So you can imagine. With my life style, I'm supposed to be shy but I'm not. I think I'm a perfectionist, I want things exactly my way and when I don't, I end up doing it myself. Well my life was bright and I was living for myself until my mother showed up in my office on my thirty fourth birthday morning. She didn't wait for my receptionist to inform me she was around, she just pushed my office's door open and barged in like I owed her something. I stood up as a form of respect although it was out of enthusiasm.

"Happy birthday sweet" she said with opened arms then she threw her bag on my table and a small wrapped box. She reached for me and hugged me.

"Thank you" I said after she had released me from her hug. I as well organised my shirt she had rumpled then I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose for it to settle there, then i took my seat and expected her to do the same-although opposite me. My mother liked to talk and I am sure it is a normal duty for every woman to talk excess. I was patient to hear from her, if I complained, I'd just be digging a pit of sermon for myself.

"Here is your present" she said as she stretched out the small box to me. "Open it" with that she sat down and crossed her leg. Her intense look at me made me sense something strange, I knew my mother was in for trouble. "Go on, why are you looking at me? Open it"

I opened it, and what I saw made me look back at her in confusion. It was a ring and a piece of paper.

"Thank you" I said sarcastically. "But I don't..."

"Read the note" she urged with a relaxed expression on her face.

"Get married" I read

"Yes. Get married" she repeated then she sat up straight and held my hand. "This is the best gift I have ever given you. I and your father have been worried. We didn't even know how to approach the situation. I had to take the bold step, we are worried"

"So you gave me a ring and a piece of paper as a..." I tried saying with my eyes analysing the two things.

"Yes. It's too big for words. With that ring you will engage the lady. I know you have someone" she said in an anticipating smile. "What are you waiting for? Men wait to be rich, you have the money and you're not getting any younger you know right?"

"mommy please." I pleaded. I couldn't believe that was her issue when I had a lot of things on my Head.

"Please what?" She asked in shock, with narrowed brows. "Engage the lady this week and bring her to us. We've waited for so long"

"Mommy there is no lady" I said and it seemed like I slapped her. Her face turned red for a while then it straightened, I knew she viewed my words in another dimension.

"I know it's not easy to keep a woman. I mean we women have a lot of problems, we want the perfect man and everything but it's up to you to tell her no man is perfect. Then say some promising words to her. That was what your father did to win me" she blushed. "So you know, I understand. But you can win her heart back with this ring"

I made the ring roll to my mother on the the table then I turned to my laptop and positioned my glasses well in front of my eyes. The silent treatment I gave made my mother confused, I could see her confused face partially. "What is it? Did the both of you break up? Did she break your heart? Don't give up on marriage? Maybe she was never God's will for you, you'd find the right one..."

"Mommy there was never anyone" I said in frustration. The thought of a common talk active woman breaking my heart vexed me. "I can live without a woman. I've been living..."

"Don't you even think of it" she barked. "What are you thinking?"

The rest of the morning and her presence was a sermon. She moved from how I'd be lonely to how I'd miss every good thing then to how I won't have children and to the main point which was how much she needed a grand child.

"You are our only child. Where else would we get a grand child from if not from your loins?"

"So that is it? This is the real reason"

"And I always wanted a female child but because I and your father agreed on one child, I lost the chances of having one but if you get married, your wife would be like my daughter"

I sighed roughly.

"Above all, I don't want you to be lonely. Forget the daughter talk and everything. I need you to have a life partner"

"I've heard you" I assured. "Bye mom, have a nice day"

"So...you'd find a woman this week?" She asked with wide eyes but I frowned in shock.

"How am I supposed to do that?" I asked in confusion and was surprised that her response was a smile. "I can start searching next year" I muttered.

"God forbid" she rejected. "That is why you have me. Relax, I will search for you. I have nothing to do, I'm idle. Why would I bring up an idea if I have no solution. Before your thirty fifth birthday, this whole issue will be settled" she assured.

I was not sure of everything my mother introduced that day but one thing I was sure of was that I could always find a way out of every situation I didn't want. I so much believed in my self. It was good that my mother did not bother me for a long time after our discussion, I assumed she was busy searching for the perfect woman for her son, so I didn't bother. My father did not leave himself out of it, he made out time to meet with me, that week was like the most ridiculous week of my life. I had my parent's trimming up my work and personal time, I couldn't breath, they refused to give me space. With time, my Saturdays were dedicated to my mother and one woman or the other. It took her about a month before she introduced the first woman to me. I couldn't keep her name but I could not forget the fact that she stood up and left I and my mother when she heard me say I was not interested in her.

"Femi!" My mother shouted with watery eyes when the woman left. "What is wrong with you? Do you know you hurt her?"

"Mommy I'm sorry but I don't like her. She looks like a prostitute, with the too much lipstick only God knows what she is covering"

My mother was annoyed but I hoped she would recover because I had committed myself to repeat the same words until my parent got weary of me and let me live my life just the way I wanted it. It took my mother quite a while to bring another lady who was seductively smiling and displaying madness in front of me, I regretted calling the first one a prostitute, the second was deep in the job.

"Mommy where do you get these women from?" I whispered to my mother while the lady made herself comfortable with her drink. "What kind of a woman is this?"

My mother did not wait for more, she did not bother introducing the lady, she got upset and took the woman away. She called me after some days to tell me I was not appreciative and the women were daughters of her friends.

"Mommy you know you're doing this for yourself" I accused when I knew I should apologise "I honestly don't need all these advert, I'm not buying"

"Shut up!" My mother said to me. I knew she said the two words in tears. I had not heard those words in a long time. "Whether I am doing it for myself or for you, you will get married" with that she hung up. I sighed and threw my phone on the bed, I needed to bath and hurry to the shopping mall, I had a lot to buy that day. How could I care about how my mother felt concerning me getting married? She was just the one bothering herself for no reason at all.

"I think your mother knows something you don't know" Richard, my friend from the university told me that afternoon. He was married with two kids and he was just my age.

"What do you mean? I don't understand" I said in confusion as I watched him sip with his straw.

"She's so pushy and it seems like she won't give up, I think she wants the best for you"

I rolled my eyes at his opinion and rested my back on the chair's back. Richard had no idea who my mother was, if he did, he'd know that she was not worried. As far as I was concerned, I knew my mother was under pressure. I knew one of her show off friends had done something to upset her and she was passing it on me for being her only child. If she had more children, I bet she'd have no business with me.

"So what do you think I should do?" I asked Richard although I knew his suggestion will not satisfy me.

"Give in" he said and I nodded. All Richard wanted was for me to be like him. Maybe he wanted us to have a family gathering once in a while, Richard was kind of emotional, I think he had a little trait from his mother. I mean what kind of a serious man will want to take a vacation with a woman and some children, laughing, eating, playing...the thought disgusted me. I nodded in deceit, Richard was not an advicer fit for me. He couldn't ever be in my shoes. He was not the only child, wasn't trained as I was, could never be depended on as the only child for "only child" tasks, so he could never give me the perfect advice.

"So you'd do it?" He asked like he knew I won't.

"No" I replied honestly. "That would be life long regret. My mother can't dictate my life, she was never interested so why now?"

Richard's way of looking at me cooled off my anger.

"It's alright" he said and then he changed the topic. Months passed and my mother failed, I wanted her to give up but it pained me that she wouldn't. Whoever was pushing her to keep forcing me was a wicked person, she looked drained up because of me but I couldn't feel guilty, I did not beg her to do any of the things she was doing, neither were they for my good. One Saturday afternoon she came alone and refused to eat. Her weariness scared me. She looked like a dog that had wandered away from home. Like it had been beaten by the rain, scotched by the sun, slapped by the wind and had decided to settle out of weakness on the dried ground. Yes, I am exaggerating but she looked horrible. She looked like herself inside the house after an unwilling exercise. No makeup, no dangling earnings and jewelries and her head was totally covered, I had to ask her how her textile business was going and she only nodded. I was even more scared when she refused to eat.

"Why?" I asked.

"I won't take long" she said. "My son, you can't keep on telling me you don't like these ladies when you do not know them" she said. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"

I tried my best to be silent and watch my mother submissively and attentively.

"All the ladies I brought are from good Christian homes and are virgins, how could you reject any?"

I thought it was a rhetorical question so I just played with my thumbs and acted repentant.

"What is your taste in a woman?" She asked but I was lost. I looked up at her with narrowed brows for further explanation. "What is your taste in a woman?" She asked again but I hesitated. She started looking like she would burst from panick. "Omo mi. Is it true? Are you gay?"

My mouth dropped at the words. I was short of words. As much as I was not really interested in women, I was not interested in men, I am not abnormal. That was the peak of all insults I had ever received in life. I knew if I stood up and left, I would look like I was hiding something, I knew if I kept quiet, I'd somehow look stupid, I knew I owed my mother no explanation or defence for myself but I took my glasses away and laughed shortly and politely.

"Mommy, I am not gay" I plainly said with a smile. "I'm not just interested in the problems women bring on men. No offense"

My calm explanation made her calm.

"It's not all women that bring problems on men. That is total negation from what is in the Word of God Femi. The Bible says that, he that finds a wife, finds a good thing. So let your aim be on a wife not a woman. When you start seeing a woman as a wife, you find a good thing but as long as she remains a woman to you, you'd be blind to see anything"

She made sense but that was not what was in my mind. I knew my mother would need proof that I am not gay and I had no choice but to end up failing and let her win. Wow! For the first time. I watched my mother and her lips as they moved but my ears grew deaf and blocked, I could hear nothing. All I could do was make plans in my head. Plans of how I would escape, plans of the word to say but I found none.

"This is what we would do. I have been placing closed books on the table for you to select from but now, I would give you the book in your hand"

"I don't understand" I said sincerely.

"I am on a fast for your sake. I want the perfect lady for my child. By the special grace of God, I will get her and I will not show her to you until your wedding day"

"What?" I exclaimed in unbelief.

"Yes. Since your eyes cannot accept any of them I have been bringing. I will give one of my designers your number, he would work your clothes out and that of your best man. Don't worry, I will take care of all the preparations-it's just that i'd need one of your credit cards for it- and then i'd get back to you after I have discussed the date with the bride's family"

"This can't be happening" I muttered. I had been watching her speechlessly and in a gape. She scoffed.

"It is happening. Once I find the lady, I will inform you" she looked excited at her idea. "Now I can have peace from all these stress, thank God"

"Mommy there are other ways, how would you say I won't see the woman till the wedding?"

"My decision is final, since you don't know how to pick a woman by yourself"

With that she stood up and left me all alone in confusion. I never had the intention of being cruel to any human being but with the thought of living with a strange, talk active, emotional being, with time I realised I had no choice. I would accept it, my hands had been forced open but if it was in my hand, it would be my choice to either squeeze it like a wasted paper or hold it carefully like an egg.