Trapped in his arms

When my mother departed, I was nine years old.

One of my earliest memories is being at home and pleading with my younger brother to stop sobbing. Unfortunately, there was nothing in the fridge for him to eat. We were hopeless, young, and stupid enough to believe that she would eventually return. There was never a time when she did.

It took me approximately four days to make up my mind to do something about it. I got my younger brother, who was seven at the time, ready and off to school we went. I went to the only school I knew how to go to, so I guess that's why I picked it.

Avery stated, "Alex, I'm very hungry," while gripping his stomach and seeming uncomfortable.

I assured him, "I'll get you food now, just give me a few minutes" as I dragged him by the hand down the road.

We ask, "Are we going to die, Alex?" Avery inquired, worriedly.

The honest truth is that I had no idea. When I was nine, I was worried about what would happen to my brother and me. Perhaps I even feared for our lives. A child's imagination may be both terrifying and enchanting.

We'll be fine, I murmured under my breath, annoyed by his barrage of inquiries.

After Avery began, "But what about-" I cut him off.

"Would you guys please be quiet?" I pleaded, exhausted, hungry, and irritated. I saw the tears start to fill up in his eyes as he dropped his head in defeat.

After patting his head and saying, "I'm sorry Avery, we're almost there ok," I tried to soothe him. I took it as a consoling gesture at the time. Avery's stomach was growling, and he continued to cry out in anguish.

When I saw a convenience store along our route, I dreaded the inevitable but knew I had no choice. While Avery distracted the shopkeeper, I stuffed as many candies as I could into my pockets. The shop's proprietor came back in and gave me the once-over. I pretended like I was searching for something and it worked.

Greeting: "Can I be of assistance?" Already suspicious, he inquired. He saw that I was malnourished from my thinness, my dirtiness, and my youth.

A fast "No, I'm okay" was my hasty response as I tried to cover up my guilt, but I failed. Unless my bulging pockets gave it away, the guy could tell I was stealing.

He groaned, grabbed me by the neck, and threw me out of the store, saying, "You little shit." After striking my head and falling to the ground, I was dazed and confused for a while. My head hurt so badly that I started to cry. I held back my tears because I needed to be a role model of strength for Avery. Avery was standing there, looking concerned. Tears were already streaming down his cheeks. He had a kind disposition.

With a sneer, he told the kids, "Keep the candy you little thieves" and then retreated inside his store. I put my hands on the floor and dragged my sluggish self up. Avery, shocked at the wound on my temple, covered his lips. The scrapes and scratches on my knees didn't hurt quite as much. When I was younger, climbing trees was my favorite activity, so the occasional scratch or bruise wasn't a big deal.

As I cradled Avery in my arms, I said, "I'm okay."

Often heard: "Why are people so mean?" Tears were falling from his eyes as he asked.

The words "I'll never let anyone be mean to you, not like that" left my mouth. Even when I was very small, he was the only thing on my mind.

Avery was becoming hungry, so we sat on a low wall while we waited for me to return with some food. When I reached beneath my shirt and produced a bottle of water, I saw a smile spread over his face. He snatched it from my hands and opened it at once, drinking from it in great gulps. I took out some cookies as he did that. When my mother performed these kinds of things for me, I always felt better.

For the first time in days, Avery and I sat contentedly on a little wall, with our feet still dangling over the floor, munching on cookies and sipping water.

I couldn't compare to Avery. His hair was black, not white, and his eyes were emerald. My hair and eyes were white and blue. Even though I suspect his biological father was different from mine, I always simply considered him my younger sibling.

I said, "Okay, time to go," and he returned my grin with one of his own. It took us around 10 minutes to cover the distance to our school on foot.

Asking, "Why are we going to Ms.Jane?" Avery, trailing after me in bewilderment, asked. His feet obviously pained, as did mine.

I'm stumped. There is no one else we can turn to. My voice was soft as I let the truth sink in. When I was nine years old, I had to accept the fact that my sole family member besides my brother didn't care about me.

With a mournful "Oh," his demeanor changed.

We walked some further, but eventually arrived at our school. There was no way for me to tell whether it was still school hours or not. The massive gates we were approaching were locked as we got closer.

To ask, "Do you know what day it is today?" I gave him a puzzled look and inquired. In a firm nay, Avery shook his head. Someone was passing the school, so I dashed over to greet them.

"I'm sorry, but can you tell me what day it is?" I replied timidly, although I was aware that keeping track of time was essential.

It's Sunday night, honey, and you need to hurry home before it's too late. Where has your brain gone? When she received no reaction to her soothing tone and kind smile, the lady walked away.

I cast an anxious look at the ground. I was on the verge of crying my eyes out. We had come all this way just to be told to come back tomorrow. It was too risky for Avery to walk home in the dark, and it would take over an hour. In addition, he has a severe phobia of the dark. I was at a loss for action and direction. We needed a somewhere to sleep, but all I could do was wait here until the following day, when classes began.

One of the raindrops struck the back of my neck, causing me to snap out of my reverie. As I looked up, I saw that black clouds were gradually covering the sky. As they came closer, I could see Avery was becoming nervous. The raindrops gradually accelerated their rate of descent.

Then, a thought occurred to me. At school, my buddies and I constructed a stronghold to protect ourselves from tyrants. It was deep in the woods. We needed to pass past these gates before we could find a place to sleep.

As I made my way around the campus, I called out to Avery, "Come on!" One of my buddies used to use this route to go in and out of school undetected.

I told him to "climb under here," but he didn't move.

He said, "Alex, it looks dangerous" as tears welled in his eyes.

I pleaded, "Oh come on, don't cry, I'm here, and you'll be alright," hoping without hope that he would hear me and believe me. I had run out of choices. As I squeezed through the fence, Avery wriggled through it. The chasm was narrowing as I passed across it.

I went beyond our school, where there were a forest of trees. No matter how much pressure there is to chop them down for "clean" environmental reasons, they refuse to do so. I wasn't complaining because I believed we were having a better time than they were.

When it rained, my buddy and I could sit in the base under a tarp he had brought from home.

So that Avery could go under it, I grabbed the edge of the blue tarp and yanked it up. When Avery spotted all of our comics scattered over the floor, he let out a loud squeal of delight.

That's awesome! As he looked around, he chuckled.

For this outpost, we scrounged stolen bedding, playthings, and pillows. I took a flashlight from the principal's office, although he seldom used it anyhow, so it was plenty for our needs. For what seemed like hours, Avery and I sat and read comics. As the night closed in on us, Avery's anxiety levels rose. When I turned on the light, he was grinning from ear to ear. While reading, we shared a single blanket.

His eyes widened as he stared at the comic book in disbelief.

I stared at Avery, who was engrossed in the narrative, and nodded, "Yeah, they killed the good guy." He leaned his head on my shoulder after some time. I was about to brush him off when I saw that Avery was sound sleeping. I gave a satisfied nod, relieved that one of us would be able to catch some shut-eye.