His only hope

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.'~ Amelia Earhart

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it was that time again, the time I wished for death. Or even to get away from my personal hell; my pack. Or was it? There was no sense of loyalty here, to me id rather be anywhere but here call me selfish but its true.

The moon cast a ghoulish glow, on to the garden. I would often put on my years old pyjamas and sit on the window ledge just watching the forest that backed on to the pack garden. Just wishing the time would pass, i would often think about my mate and if he was near oh how i wished he was. My knight in shinning armor ready to come and rescue me, from this hell that I call a life.

I have always believed that your mate is a the only person in the world, that is your body and his fit together like to pieces of a puzzle that where meant to be.

My dad was a very humble and wise man. They say when someone dies it gets easier as the days pass but it doesn't, the deep longing and void in your chest never lessens in my experience, it only gets worse. Everyday you just wish you could speak to them hear their voice one last time, but in reality you know its impossible. I thinks that's why i was so excited about the prospect of a mate. It was the last conversation i had with my father,before he passed. And i always hoped a mate will help fill this void in my heart, and care for and love me even more than my father did.

Mate are a sacred thing in the werewolf world, one cannot simply live without there other half. It would be like living with half of your soul, half of your body, never fully complete. My daddy always told me that when you find your mate it's the most beautiful thing that will ever happen,

Daddy said, "when you lock eyes with your mate it feels like Christmas . You will feel the happiest you have ever felt. You will both feel a pull towards each other, like an invisible rope that keeps you tethered. Even if your mates human, he will feel it to. " "oh honey, and when you touch hands you feel as if there's thousands of sparks running through you" he always told me not to worry as long as you have your mate by your side his love and protection will make you feel as if you can conquer the world. But then again I lost faith in the moon goddess, because what has she done for me? Maybe she never even gave me a mate? My heart broke at the possibility. But I always believed him, from then on I would always count down the hours, days and weeks and years till my 17th birthday.

Now looking up at who is to be my mate, I could never be more disconsolate. I couldn't begin to describe what I was feeling.

The way my dad described it to me, was that a mate would always and only ever be affectionate towards his mate. The whole idea of a mate hurting you was seemed to be unheard of.

That was the complete opposite of what my mate had done with me, he had not been affectionate when he first saw me. However he had hurt me more than i've been hurt in my entire life. He was supposed to protect me from harm, but instead he inflicted harm upon me.

My heart broke again, for the hundredth time this week.

"Damaris, the alpha is ready for you." My mum said all to happily. For once she didn't seem upset with me, what's going on? Where's my mum gone? This is not her. Honestly i think she blamed me for my fathers death or maybe it could be that i resemble him. I had inherited my fathers thick raven black hair, his large doe like brown eyes and his olive complexion. I had my mothers body though, i stood at 5'ft the same as my mum, much unlike my fathers 6'3 height. I had the same large round bottom like my mum, and hour glass figure. Everyone always told me i was beautiful, even my mum once upon a time before my father had died. My mum and dad were to very different people though i don't know how or why the moon goddess put them together my dad was a humble man where as my mum was power hungry she wanted to be of higher ranking. To be honest i never thought i was anything special though, merely just a average she-wolf.

I stepped out of my room, and into the hallway of the pack house. My stomach rumbled, I sighed and started to make my way downstairs. I haven't eaten in weeks, she, my mother, would only feed me on occasions but i didn't moan like she said " Your to big, Damaris. I'm doing it for you. No one wants somebody fat for a mate. Even then i still hope he rejects you." my mothers words hurt but i know she doesn't love me, that she has made very clear.

I don't really know or care what the alpha has got to say, he is just an old over-arrogant bastard, who thinks his above everyone because of his stupid title. In my personal opinion i don't think, he deserves the alpha title he is to much of a coward to lead his pack.

I reached the end of the corridor, and opened the two huge mahogany doors and entered the packs main living room. Which to my surprise was beautifully decorated, with happy birthday and congratulations signs. The happy birthday I guessed was for me as it was my 17th birthday, the day every werewolf gets to finally meet there mate, if they are luckily enough to come across them so soon, but who are the pack congratulating?

As I reached the center of the room, where there was a table full of presents, the whole pack started singing happy birthday. I'm sure I was red of embarrassment. i had never received such a surprise, don't get me wrong i wasn't abused by my pack members, the scars that mirrored my body was all the doing of my mum. But they had never thrown me an actual party, my family were merely omegas.

As the song came to a end Alpha Decomber, stepped forward the crowd parting to let him pass. The alpha was in his late 30s and was very Handsome but sadly his mate had died only a few years prior before being able to deliver him a heir.

"Happy birthday Damaris, I bet you are wondering why I had gathered you and everyone else here just to celebrate it. Well I have come to a decision with your mother that you will be my new Luna," getting down on one knee, he pulled out a red velvet case. " Damaris Murson, will you do the honour of marrying me and becoming my luna. "

Aha, that's what the congratulation signs are for.

'' Why me? Why don't you marry my mum?'' gasps were heard all around at my lack of respect for the alpha. But i didn't care, i can't marry him! i won't marry him! I'm 17 his like 20 years older and most importantly his not my mate.... Noo this cant be happening please be a dream, I could feel my heart beating rapidly, wanting to burst through my chest. I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was going to die. I looked around at the pack, they all spoke in a murmur. The voices around me started to echo, and my vision became hazy, I felt buzzing in my ears. Before I knew it, I had succumbed to the darkness.

I woke a few minutes later, feeling disconnected. I felt as if my body wasn't my own. The air surrounding was one of worry, the air was thick with tension. "No," I whispered my voice sounding broken, I was not marrying a man that wasn't my mate. I saw my mums face fall and a look of utter distaste on her face. It seemed as though she was the only one who heard me though. Alpha Decomber, came forward and leaned at my side, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. His voice sent a shiver down my spine and not in a good way. He was not our mate, my wolf didn't want to be near him quite frankly I didn't either.

I felt my body slowly come back to me, louder this time i said " No No No, I'm sorry Alpha Decomber but I cannot marry you. You are not my mate." I pushed everyone of me and ran to my room.

I laid in my bed, crying. I know they are going to make me marry him, I was crying for my self and for my mate. I wanted him to turn up and save me. Damaris your life isn't a fairy tale i told myself, no one's gonna save you you gotta save yourself.

I laid in my bed for what seemed like hours before there was a knock on my door, my mother walked in with disappointment, shame and disgust appearing on her face. I was accustomed to the look she was giving me, so it did nothing to scare or frighten me, she was followed by the Alpha.

"Damaris you have one last chance to say yes to the engagement." Alpha Decomber stated.

"No, I'm sorry alpha but you are not my mate."

"Okay very well then, you are to be out of pack land in 20 minutes, you are herby banned from the lunar eclipse pack. You are now a rogue." I screamed out in pure agony, as tears burned my eyes. My mothers eyes softens before hardening again, " you brought this on your self Damaris. You should be ashamed treating an alpha in such a manner, you should have been proud some one of such power wanted you." She then turned and left without another word. The alpha snorted and left.

I had to leave, the pack I grew up in just because I wouldn't marry someone who isn't my mate. I was so frustrated, I rushed around my room and packed a bag. Packing only clothes and money I had saved up for when I met my mate. I looked around to my still unfurnished room, I was leaving it all behind. My heart broke, but I kept my tears at bay. Even though it had never been like my home since my father died, i would miss being in the house that held so many good memories minus the bad.

I walked over to my window and jumped landing in a crouched position. My whole body was heaving with dry sobs.

I run.

Scramble up, slip down, repeat. Faster.

Ragged breath; in, out; in, out.

Still I run.

Just when my lungs might burst and heart explode, I stumble. Wasting valuable time. 5 minutes to be of pack land i muttered to myself.

I can not run no more, I stand only to fall once again.

I feel a voice in my head urging me on.

I run again, tears streaming down my face, seeing the green and brown colors whip by

i run with hopes of a new fresh start.