Red is a strong color, it increases emotional intensity. It controls you, makes you forget the concept of time. You look like you're afraid to have fun. You've locked yourself in an imaginary cage. I can see the iron bars around you from here.
I was at a time when loneliness was eating away at my soul.
It's only been a week since I came to this city I knew nothing about. Although it seemed like a good idea to study away from my family at first, I deeply felt that I was alone in this huge city that I was a stranger to. As someone who had longed for loneliness and silence for years and who got into university just to get away from the family home, I shouldn't have complained about this. But I couldn't help myself. For days, I had been wandering around a city I didn't know, among people I didn't know. I still haven't met anyone I can get along with. This wasn't an interesting situation though, I've never been a girl who makes friends easily.
The way home from school was the only way I knew. While the bitter cold of October was penetrating my hair and skin, my favorite song was echoing in my ears. I loved walking while listening to music on my way home. Every day I returned with the same songs and the same steps, but I enjoyed it tremendously. Another thing I enjoyed was swinging on the old swing in the garden next door. From the first day I arrived at my apartment, the detached house next door attracted my attention with its impressive architecture. It was a two-story house with a small garden. The garden gate was low and unlocked. I was sure that the owners of the house were away because I didn't see any people around and the lights were always off. So I would go there almost every day, on my way home from school, and swing on the swings until I finished a few more songs. It may sound childish, but it felt really good.
Last night was the first time I saw anyone enter that house. When the young man's vague smile came to mind, I got chills again. This small movement on a stranger's face haunted me throughout the night. I turned my head and looked to my right. I didn't even realize I had arrived as I was lost in thought. I slowed down my steps and stopped in front of the garden of the house. The house was no longer empty, its owner had arrived. I couldn't go in and swing as easily as I used to. Moreover, the young man who entered the house yesterday was brought by the officials. There was something unusual.
I looked at the house carefully. The windows, as always, were covered with dark curtains. There was no one in the garden. As always, desolation and silence prevailed over the house. Maybe the owner had gone somewhere again. Maybe he wasn't home for a while. After waiting for a few minutes, I couldn't resist and opened the garden gate. I quickly entered the garden and headed towards the old swing. I took off my black backpack and placed it on the ground. After taking one last look at the house, I turned around and carefully sat on the swing. I held on tightly to the chains of the swing, bringing the sound of the music playing in my ears to an end. Then I let go and started swinging. I stared at the sky covered with dark clouds, ignoring my dark blond hair that was scattered with the cool breeze blowing gently. I felt like I was flying. It was like I was miles above the earth. A meaningless smile appeared on my face. I just wanted to fly for a few minutes. I just wanted to leave this dirty world for a few minutes and wander among the untouched clouds of the sky. As soon as I gathered enough of this little happiness in my blood, I was going to get off. I was going to leave before the young man came and saw me. It wouldn't even take me five minutes to get home.
I slowly started to slow down my swing. It was the last seconds of my flight and the song I was listening to... I wanted to return home without getting caught. I wanted to leave without any strange incidents. I slowed down a lot to get off the swing. I stopped my swing by rubbing the soles of my shoes on the ground. I reluctantly removed the headphones from my ears and carelessly threw them into the side pocket of my bag lying on the floor. As I was getting ready to get up, I heard footsteps behind me.
"Why did you stop?" This impressive voice coming from behind me stunned me for a moment. I quickly released the chains of the swing and turned my head toward the direction of the sound. I quickly got off the swing and saw the young man standing behind me. I looked into the honey-colored eyes watching me carefully. These were the eyes that found me through the curtains last night. I wonder how long he had been standing there, watching me?
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have entered without permission..." As soon as I started to explain, she raised her hand and parted her full, red lips;
"Does not matter." Immediately afterward, the same smile appeared on his face as he had last night. At that moment, I realized once again that her smile was chillingly beautiful. It was much more effective up close. He had pure white skin, a small nose, and bright, honey-colored eyes. Her lips were full and red. His eyebrows were sparse but shaped, his cheekbones were high and prominent. In short, he had a charm that will not be forgotten easily. I have never seen a face so carefully created in my nineteen years of life. I once again believed in the existence of God. This face was the work of God.
I must have liked the fact that I was examining him carefully because the smile on his face widened. He took a step closer to me and slowly extended his hand.
"I am the Wind." His name, spoken in a confident tone, was repeated several times in my mind.
"Eliz," I said, holding his outstretched hand with a light touch and shaking it. My weak hand disappeared inside his big hand for a few seconds. I felt chills. It wasn't from the wind blowing, it was from the wind touching my skin. We made eye contact for a few seconds. Then our hands slowly parted.
"You can swing here whenever you want, Eliz. There's no one using this swing anymore," he said and his gaze shifted to the old swing. He just watched the swing silently for a few seconds, as if some memories had flooded his mind.
"Thank you, I'll go home now." I smiled. He took his gaze from the swing and directed it back to me. My cheeks became hot with the feeling of embarrassment. I wanted to get rid of this strange moment as soon as possible. When he smiled at me, I turned around and headed towards the garden gate to leave.
"Aren't you going to get your bag?" I closed my eyes when I heard the voice coming from behind me. I couldn't have done such a stupid thing. But I did it, didn't I? I left my backpack on the ground. Chewing my lips, I opened my eyes and turned away in shame. The tall young man came to me with my bag, which he held tightly in his hand. He looked like he was trying hard not to laugh.
"I guess there's nothing important in it. Otherwise, I think you wouldn't forget it so easily..." he said in a mischievous tone. At the same time, he politely handed the bag to me. The sarcastic expression on his face increased my embarrassment even more. But it was obvious from the purity in his eyes that he had no bad intentions. He was just trying to lighten the mood.
"Oh, actually the books inside are worth fortunes..." I muttered, laughing too. My parents spent half their salary on my school books. I quickly took my black bag from his hands.
"Are you in college?" he asked with a curious expression. One of his sparse eyebrows was raised. His eyebrows were a shade darker than his hair, which was beginning to disperse in the wind.
"Yes, I'm a first-year," I replied. I quickly put my bag on my back. Then I looked at him curiously. I was more or less guessing how old he was, but I spoke anyway just to be sure.
"You?" He grimaced in response to the question I asked in a low voice. It's like I asked the wrong thing.
"I am twenty-five years old. I have already finished my education life." I was stunned when he said that. I thought he was in college like me. Maybe he made him look smaller than he was because he didn't grow a beard or mustache.
"You look surprised..." he added in a low voice. I was angry at myself for showing my feelings so much. I have never been someone who manages to keep things secret. Everything I felt and thought was reflected either on my face or in my actions.
"I'll go now." I dismissed him by saying. But I wanted to ask him questions. For example, which department you graduated from, why you are alone in this big house, why you came like that last night...
"It's starting to get dark, do you want me to accompany you home?" The question caused a stir inside me. I didn't care about anyone for a few days. Now I found it strange that someone was so interested.
"I live in that house you see, we are kind of neighbors," I said, pointing to the apartment where I stayed. His gaze went to the apartment I showed him. His brows furrowed as if he remembered something.
"So you were the nosy neighbor from last night..." As soon as he mumbled, a second flood of shame surrounded my whole body. He remembered our look. He remembered our eerie, beautiful, and brief look.
"I wasn't watching, just when you were taken out of the vehicle like that..."
"Does not matter," he said, not allowing me to continue my words. We must have gotten into something he didn't want to talk about. Understanding this, I nodded my head and prepared to leave.
"Good evening, Wind," I said and smiled.
"Good evening, Eliz," he said and did not smile. He just looked into my eyes with his honey-colored eyes. His serious expression wiped the smile off my face. I looked away from him and turned away. I walked towards my apartment with quick steps.
Something told me this wasn't the last time we would meet. I was sure that the strange attraction I felt towards him would grow in the future. Just a few facial expressions, a few glances, and a huge smile were enough reasons to stand next to him. Victor Hugo has a quote that I like very much:
" What a shame for those who love only bodies, shapes, and images! Death will destroy everything. Try loving souls."
I have always been an advocate of this saying. I used to think that people should not be judged by their appearance. But right now, I was confused. It was challenging not to be deceived by this beauty. Every word that fell from his lips caused a small stir inside me.
When I entered the house, a stupid smile appeared on my face. He was the person I talked to the longest in a week. I held the bag on my back from where he touched it and dropped it to the floor. I quickly took off my coat and threw it on my bed. Then I approached the window of my room overlooking his house. I opened the dark tulle curtain and looked. I caught him where I left him, with his head up and looking at my window.
Honey-colored eyes were looking right into my dark blue eyes. I was stunned and frightened. He hadn't forgotten where I looked at him from last night. She greeted him by slowly raising her hand in the air. I stepped back, taking a step away from the window. While my heart was beating like crazy, I couldn't understand whether it was from fear or excitement. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. When I approached the window again to wave at him, he was already gone.
Just like a ghost.
There was one, there was not one.