Outcast

I found Mama bickering words with our neighbor. She had endured enough of their humiliation. Mama looked stressed from the mood written all over her face. The hurtful words got to her. Mama hasn't looked this pale before. Her face looked dim, and her words looked calculated. I was five. I couldn't interfere with their exchanges. Papa wasn't at home. I called my grandmother Mama Nnukwu meaning Big Mummy. She doesn't like Mama. She was in favor of the neighbor. The neighbour hurled abusive words at Mama and Mama Nnukwu cheered her on.

"Stupid woman. Your four children have died and you are not ashamed of yourself. I won't blame you, you have decided to join the white man's religion to flatter yourself", she hurled invectives at Mama again.

"Don't blame me. I won't blame myself anyway. I still have the apple of my eyes here and your words won't get to me", Mama said pointing at me. I stared back, tears dropped from my eyes, watching Mama weep like a baby.

I was that five-year-old child. I sat at the entrance and stared. Mama Nnukwu gave me a scary look. It sent shivers down my spine. She gave me a cold attitude. I greeted her every day but left to meet Mama immediately. I couldn't stand her sight.

Mama Nnukwu stared at me once more and spat.

"Bia, leave this useless woman and her OSU (Outcast) child. She got him from the white man's religion. I can't wait for a female child", Mama Nnukwu yelled.

Mama and Papa had been married for fifteen years. Their first child, a male was born and he died when he was one. The second one died on his third birthday while Mama was pregnant for the third. She had a miscarriage due to stress.

After two years, Mama became pregnant again and gave birth to the fourth child. He became sick when he was three. Mama Nnukwu gave him two tribal marks by the side of his face, so he wouldn't reincarnate again or they would recognize him when he came back again. He died after much convulsion. Mama and Papa wept bitterly. Mama Nnukwu advised my father to take another wife if the fifth child died. They were idol worshippers and practiced traditional religion. By culture, Papa could marry as many wives as he deemed fit. Papa loved Mama so much and she was endearing to his heart. Mama cooked his best soup which was a bitter leaf with an assortment of meats traditionally. Mama's food was tasteful. Papa praised her every time he had used a mold of fufu rubbed in the bowl of soup, to swallow it down. Papa promised her that he wouldn't take another wife at the expense of anything. Mama was everything Papa wanted in a wife.

"You will take another wife if this OSU (Outcast) woman persists with their bad luck", Mama Nnukwu yelled. These words hurt Mama so much. She decided to visit her friend, who advised her to follow a white man's religion. Mama's friend told Mama that she would give birth to any child worth more than death.

"Since I left this superstitious paganism to Christianity, I have found life more comforting. You see my children, this perfect religion gave them life. No superstition scares me anymore since my husband died. I'm in Christ", Mama Ebuka bragged. Mama was converted to Christianity. Papa loved her so much and accepted her new religion but didn't convert himself. Papa always vouched over his dead body that he wouldn't convert to a white man's religion. He found them cunning, much.

While Mama was pregnant, she started attending church always. She attended St. Vincent De Paul's Catholic church. A reverend sister was assigned to her to guide a new convert. She had to be baptized by water through sprinkling.

The parish catechist made her adopt a religious name. From Nnedi, she changed her name to Elizabeth. She didn't fail to tell people to address her as Nnedi, she stressed the syllable and pronounced it as Elizabeth. The villagers joined hands in helping her to bastardize the name.

"Elizaaaaa", they all called her. Mama Nnukwu wasn't ready for the name. "You are Nnedi you are an OSU (Outcast) and no amount of name flattering will make me abandon it", Mama Nnukwu always said derisoryly.

With the help of a Reverend sister as the midwife, I was delivered and Papa called me ChukwuEbuka. Unlike the other children, I was relatively big. Bigger than an average newborn child. Mama wasn't happy that I was a boy, she had gone to the native doctor to help her make the child a girl. Mama was the queen of the river. The river goddess had told her that only a female child would bring happiness to the house and there wouldn't be death again.

Mama Nnukwu returned to the river goddess, but she was assured that Mama would give birth to a girl. I returned from the womb with the two tribal marks Mama gave the fourth child before he died. It was a full mark on my two faces. But it came as a birthmark on the sides of my face. The exact spots where beards grow down to the chin. Papa, as usual, was happy but with the hope that I wouldn't die again.

"This is the same mysterious child", Mama said and panicked.

"Child is from God. Forget about the coincidence and whatever mark", Mama Ebuka assured Mama. It was surprising that Papa named me Chukwu Ebuka. The same name as Mama's friend's first son.

I was five years now, I'm still alive. No Mama and Papa child has lived up to this age.. Mama Nnukwu always pressured Mama to get pregnant again, but it wasn't forthcoming. Mama Nnukwu thought Mama was doing it to spite her. Mama Nnukwu preferred to cook for herself. She doesn't eat Mama's food again.

"Why would I eat food from a wicked woman who doesn't want to do what I want? She has poisoned my son's mind too. He only does her wish", Mama Nnukwu would tell her friends. She always called for meetings where she tables the matter to the kinsmen. Papa always entertained the kinsmen with palm wine, as they discussed and cackled along. The meeting always ends fruitless.

"It's not my fault. I have been trying........... not forthcoming", Mama said. After the 'I have been trying', I heard another muttering that came out from Mama, but I didn't understand. I was a child and couldn't grasp words fully. All I knew was that Mama was crying.

********************************

Papa promised to do anything I wanted if I survived on my sixth birthday. A day before, I fell sick, and Mama was scared. My temperature became above normal. Mama wanted to take me to the Parish for Reverend Father to pray for me. Mama Nnukwu rejected it.

"He is an Ogbanje child from an OSU (Outcast) mother and must be treated traditionally, we will know happiness when she conceives a female child", Mama Nnukwu said angrily.

Mama countered her with so much guts, "You can't do anything. My child belongs to the church, and nothing you can do about it. If I lose my child, I can't conceive again", Mama cried.

"Leave her to do anything she wants. This is our fifth child and your traditional medicine hasn't done anything", Papa chided Mama Nnukwu.

"Oh, you plan to relegate me. Don't worry, we will know who first saw the stars and moon of the earth", Mama Nnukwu said and ran to her hut. Mama Nnukwu lived in a hut, while Papa built a cemented four-room apartment beside it. Mama Nnukwu had been told to relocate to our cemented house, but she preferred her mud house. She always said she loved the calmness and coldness it brought.

Mama took me to the Catechist's office at the parish. He called for the Reverend Father. A white man with curly hair, spoke through his nose as our villagers alluded. I have never seen him before. The catechist took Mama and me, to the sacristy for the reverend father who was celebrating mass at the altar to be done. The sacristy looked beautiful. It was decorated with mass attires and other things. The architecture wowed me. I could still figure out and observe most things around me. My body was hot. It was above normal temperature.

"His body is becoming hotter. Like boiling water", Mama said as she held the catechist by his trousers. My eyes were closing bit by bit, I didn't understand what was happening again, until a body of water was being sprinkled on me and people were muttering words. I was lying on the floor haplessly, surrounded by two women on a long white scarf. They had no makeup on. They were beautiful. They wore white dressings.

"Thank you, sisters", Mama said. Mama and I stayed with the Reverend sisters for days. They muttered prayers every morning and night. The Reverend's sister told Mama that she needed to bring me to church so that I would be baptized and do other things necessary.

We got home, and Papa's joy was unspeakable.

He killed a fowl to celebrate my arrival.

"It seems this white man's religion is making sense", Papa said.

"It's like they have brainwashed you. There is nothing like our chi. The goddess of the river, Oma'mmiri, had assured us we would be happy when a female child is born", Mama Nnukwu said. Mama Nnukwu found every opportunity to discredit my revival by the white man's religion.

I still had scary nightmares. It made me restless. I was being pursued by a woman with seven heads in my nightmares. She said she would deal with me. I was proving stubborn, which was according to her words. In my nightmare, I was always doing hide and seek at the back of the trees that littered our big compound. Just then, a woman with seven heads tickled me from behind, I turned staring at the scary creature before I scurried for help and she pursued me. While I almost fell, I woke up immediately.