TULPA (Love Game)

1. Candle

I smiled faintly, touched by the surprise of my mother who was now standing in front of me carrying a birthday cake. Yes, today is my fifteenth birthday.

"Come on, blow out the candles, before that, ask for a wish," said my mother.

I closed my eyes. Bring both hands together, clenched tightly in front of the chest. There's only one thing I want. I just want a prince figure to be present in my life. After that, open your eyes and blow out the number-shaped candle. I smiled, seeing mom clapping her hands happily. It's not like other children's birthdays where there are lots of friends, gifts and jewelry everywhere. My birthday is simple, just a birthday cake and candles. The rest doesn't exist. Friend? Yes, I don't have any friends. Coupled with my uncaring and quiet nature, it makes it difficult for me to make friends. And tonight, I ask someone to come into my life. Like on previous birthdays.

***

"Kejora, it looks like mom will be home late tonight. You're at home, take care of yourself."

I took a breath. Again, my mother had to work overtime to support our lives. After five years of being left by her late father, mother was very busy taking care of her late father's company. Leave in the morning, come home in the evening. Honestly, I'm worried about mom's health.

"Don't forget to rest, Ma," I said. Mom just smiled. Then, he was busy spreading peanut butter on my sandwich again.

After that silence fell. We were both busy enjoying our breakfast menu. A few minutes later, mom got up from her seat followed by me.

"Come on, mom, take me to school." I just nodded and started wearing my school bag.

While waiting for my mother who was calling Bi Sum – our housekeeper, I chose to get into the car first while listening to music using earphones. The sound of the car door closing awakened me from the beautiful melody I was listening to. Turning around, I saw mom starting to start the car engine. We didn't have any conversation. I, myself, don't know where to start the conversation. So in the end, I chose to stare out the window, still listening to music from earphones. Our car started to slow down, until it finally stopped right in front of my school gate. He took a deep breath before finally releasing the safety rope. Kissing the back of mom's hand.

"Be careful on the road, Mom."

After that, mom's car drove away. Leaving me still standing in front of the school gate with a crumpled face. Not without reason, if given the choice between school and home, I would rather be at home. Read novels or even watch movies. Rather than having to deal with the thousands of stares he always gets. And yes, all of that is now starting to happen. When I just stepped into the school yard, all eyes looked at me with fear, ridicule, pity, and many more. Take a rough breath. This is nothing, because....

"Hey look! That crazy girl still dares to set foot here. Why doesn't the school just take her to a mental hospital?"

Hah, just about to talk about it, the gossip came freely from Diana's mouth, who incidentally is my classmate. I just kept a straight face, gripping my bag strap tightly, trying to be patient.

Thump!

Close your eyes, then take another breath. My forehead throbbed violently. In fact, I can guarantee that a big lump will sit there. Laughter immediately echoed when I saw my body fall and kiss the floor of the classroom corridor. Rendy–Diana's lover just stuck out his leg when I was about to pass him. Oh great, those lovers seem to enjoy bullying me.

"I'm sorry on purpose," he said without feeling guilty.

I got up in silence. Glancing at Diana who was now starting to cling to Rendy's strong arms. Hissing softly. I really wanted to repay you for your actions, but considering that I already had a lot of notes in the BK book, I chose to walk away without paying attention to their ridicule. Don't let mom feel the impact again just because of my actions.

When we got to class, it was the same. The class, which was originally busy, was now silent as I stood in the doorway. They looked at me cynically. Rolling his eyes in embarrassment, he stepped towards the bench. Silence for a moment, trying to examine my seat. I don't want what happened a few days ago, where I fell heavily because of the actions of my classmates who cruelly broke my chair. Once I felt safe, I started sitting on it quietly. I can still feel dozens of sharp eyes in my class aiming at me.

"Do you want me to poke your eyes?" I asked in a low but firm tone. Making them snort and then return to their respective activities. I didn't care, I chose to take a black-covered book and started pouring black ink in the form of sentences into it.

My imagination started running wild. With enthusiasm, I wrote a story about pirates and an octopus monster. It sounds scary, but it was quite exciting for me. My composure was lost when one of my classmates grabbed my book by force. He narrowed his eyes, before finally shouting.

"Hey bro! Look, this crazy girl is starting to hallucinate again!" While holding my book high. Next, he ran towards the group of children. Followed by mocking laughter.

"There really are sea monsters, huh?"

"What the hell, do pirates have powers? Waterbender again? Hahaha!"

"Wow, every day, it just gets worse!"

And other taunts. Hey! That's my imagination, why should they bother judging it? Annoyed, I snatched my book back and sat down roughly. Ignore the laughter and teasing of my friends. I chose to put my earphones back on and play the music as loud as I could so that the sound of mockery and annoying laughter could no longer be heard in my eardrums.

Hey, I'm not wrong, right? I'm free to imagine whatever I want. Is it wrong? Just watch out, if one day I become a famous writer, I will silence your lips. Just wait later!

To be continued ....

"I don't care what they say. This is about me, not them. This is about the destiny I want to follow."

_Kejora Amara_