a
just difficult; it wa
ng food as if it were poison, my energ
t he treated them like mechanics fixing a car-he
on the rearview mirror as he drove me to the
ting behind closed doors and late-night phone calls
like a ghost hau
he cal
llapsed. A massi
t my throat. I
nd with tears, ignoring the
n, my lun
e, his back to me, st
was saying, his voice devoid of em
ed and
He didn't even flinch.
phone without a
e words tearing out of my chest. "
sitting back down at his desk
ed, reaching out to hi
a file, not l
Don't upset yourself,
he
s the
in the back of the car, feeling s
was sterile, biti
up to machines, his s
lding his hand, praying for a
up onl
sed, searching the room fo
." he
here,
s voice barely a breath. "In
box,
ooks like
before I could ask more, leaving his
d for t
visite
watch three times, and patted my shou
said, as if my father were
husband, really
calculation i
t from the grief, untouched
ormed in
ugly and thorny,
oom, I went to the cafeteria to get
ard David talking on h
dn't
arrying in the quiet corridor. "She is still her
us
and starts talking about t
fr
dle
my dyin
ounding so hard I thought
sn't
er wasn
hands shaking so badly I
rets he held were dangerous enough to make my
ing, revealing the horror
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