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hum of urgency: the rolling squeak of gurney wheels, the clipped cadence of nurses calling out vitals, the constant electronic pulse of moni
t isn'
" someone yells f
r than my mind does. Hair tied back, hands washed, gloves ready, eyes scanning the board
sprinting for miles. A third keeps pressure on something under a blood-soaked sheet. Behind th
ly thirties, found off Blackridge Highway near the woodland service road. Multiple penetrat
ask as we steer int
burner phone. We followed coordin
but my brain stores it. The way you store anything
the side as the team transf
rse says, eyes on the monitor. "Heart rate
ively hemorrhaging on my table. That alone would be enough to make me wary. Then
e kind of mass you see in working bodies, in fighters, in men shaped by violence. His chest rises with shallow breaths that shouldn't be possible through the
back th
uries a
ss his ribs, deep enough that I can see the pale glint of bone under blood. There are puncture wounds near his shoulder and abdomen, but the spacing and
econd IV line. Type and cross. Prep O n
someone who has watched too much death and chosen not to flinch. An intern h
" he says,
tell him without looking up. "Firm p
ng out more blood than it is. That's another thing that unsettles me. The sheet is soa
p?"
t one," Helena re
d loss. Still, the numbers don't add up. A man with these injuries an
ery. His pulse beats steady beneath my glove, strong a
say. "He's not pro
e. A cut at the corner of his mouth that looks like it came from a blunt impact, not a fall. I've
sharp tang of blood and antiseptic. It is not cologne. It is not sweat. It's somet
ld mean
makes my sto
ready," He
attention on the t
p back but remain near the doorway, as if they can't quite believe they've left him here. When the tube slid
nounces, lifting the
ars. Shadows. Bone. The faint white o
need imaging-CT if he can tole
or again. "His pressure's r
blood yet. We haven't corrected anything that would produce that effect. It
the depth. The cut is ugly, but the edges look... tight. Like they're shrinking, dr
and lo
oser than they w
ds behave. They do not close like that. Not without sutures, not witho
ce is careful now, as if
my voice comes out flatter
s it into
tincts, the ones that kept me alive through residency nights where we lost patients
ide the wound. Controlled. Minimal.
ads up, bright
t tightens, seals, and disappears
light, too cold. The room feels like it's t
e snaps to m
hispers, "Wh
not ready to speak aloud. "Continue with labs," I say, forcing my voice into its profession
drug? A condition I've never encountered? The list is short because medicine doesn't inclu
elids
itor st
ing up?" s
im. We intubated him. The
ashes
open, the entire room
o
sunlight. This is an unnatural, luminous gold that looks like it's lit from withi
locks onto me
und my wrist, fingers hard enough to hurt through the glove. Gasps ri
I've been swung at, cursed at, spat on. I know how to
travels up my arm and into my chest, as if some
ot elec
els o
expected to hear. For the smallest moment, my vision sharpens. Sounds become too crisp. I can hear the
is head slightly, nostrils flaring, and I have th
low, rough with pain and something
," he
room. It hits my ribs like a fist, reverbe
ct than choice. "Security," Helena snaps
e restraints we didn't even have time to place are absent, and he looks
react properly, th
nu
orde
in b
them. They move like they've rehearsed this entrance, like they've done it before. Two of them step in f
" he says, v
ou can't be in here. Thi
tly, and the gesture is calm enoug
steel into my tone. "No one removes a patien
me. They are too cold.
is too smooth. No trembling. No dizziness. No collapse. He is a wall of muscle and raw pr
to blood loss. Instead, he steadies himself with a hand on the bed rail and look
ave touched me,"
nt I hate myself for the tremor in
e's memorizing it, like he already
loser to him. "Alpha, we need t
ph
, not in a hospital, not in a trauma bay, b
oat, then my wrist, then back to my eyes. The movement feels intimate in a way that
a step
ir ch
patient and an unpredictable one. I know danger. I've walked
s diff
standing too c
n a way I can't explain. My pulse picks up. My skin warms. Some part of me, buried
whisper before I
o a smile but into something sha
mber
it in my own ribcage. He sways again, and this time it's more pro
says, though the mo
cally, my doctor brain fighting back
man interrupts, eyes
cient. Unquestioning. Like the hospital is n
ollowing. "He needs surgery. H
ad and gives me a look that chill
. "That's not h
eyes are half-lidded now, but they find mine again. Even fad
this time, but it st
u," he says. "You
the air they leave behind feels too
speaks. Then the trauma ba
ust hap
u see h
e, are y
something stupid like chase a convoy of armed strangers into the night. "Aria," she say
grabbed me. I can still feel the imprint of his fi
nd it's the truth. "I do
ch my face. "Do we
otocol says yes. Every part
ng that flared when he touched me-ti
r myself sa
s me more than th
s blurring past, my mind replaying the night in fragments that refuse to settle into sense. I
wash off the feeling of him. It doesn't. When I wrap myself in a tow
creating meaning where there is none. That t
keeps driftin
d feels warmer than
y reading, but the words slide off my mind. Outside, the city wakes up, car horns st
methin
grip the edge of the coffee table. The pain isn't like indigestion or muscle
ill, breathin
in. I hate that. I hate that he has drag
I hea
tant, like a growl c
My hallway is empty.
n't coming f
ng from i
ls pressing into wood. I try to laugh at myself, to dismi
ir sh
with a change in tempe
nce of my apartment. The door is still
ock c
o
ibe
nward, just enough for shadow to spill across the
werful filling the space, like the
t by the dim corridor light. Tall. Bro
gnite in th
or behind him as if he owns it,
in the trauma bay, but it carri
and the way he speaks the title makes it feel
force my voice to work.
ep forward, and my body reacts-heat rising under my
d his mouth curves slightly, like he
murmurs,
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