I Married Him for Points

week

ter for this story, I think

is story sucks hard. Do

th at the end doesn't do her any justice. After wasting seven years of my life reading this, it's only fair that right a

words that got m

obbies were simple: using my hard-earned money to buy trashy online novels, then fuming about them for hours afterward. I either thirsted over fictional men wit

dn't mean I

nn End Up Choosing?' I started reading it when I was eighteen. For seven long, masochis

ighter when she smiled. Birds sang in harmony around her perfectly coiffed hair. Grown men-dukes and assassins and princes alike-literally sw

plot ballooned into an ungodly mess of fan service, unnecessary side quests, and me s

point came wi

h dramatic fainting spells and approximately four hundred scenes of men brooding attractively in th

idence and absolutely not foreshadowing-the most hated character in the entire godforsaken novel, who had no other goals or personali

dent, poor thing. Anyway, here's another scene of Maryann gi

e e

hen I laughed. It was a high, slightly unhinged sound that went on for a full thirty minute

ed that review. I even considered throwing my laptop out the window for dramatic effect. My bank account, ev

author and forcing them to read their own drivel at gunpoint. I had work

tly-my recurring heart condition picked that night for its grand finale. A sudden cardiac arrest. One minute I was glaring at my c

rkn

len

d t

hile being chased by wolves. My chest burned as I dragged in air, my heart hammering again

the hel

y? Lady

e was talking to

e of my old apartment. Heavy velvet curtains the color of burgundy wine framed windows that looked out onto manicur

ed studio apartment wi

rrowed in concern. Three other maids stood behind her, all watching me ne

ited. "Hold up. Did y

out in a gesture

s flinched dramatically, as

s with the exaggerated reacti

he bearing of someone in charge, her posture straight an

reaching back to fluff the pillows be

ome kind of stress-induced hallucination. Or astral projection? I'd read about that once in a Reddit thread at 3 AM. But

any second now, realize this was all just a weird fever dream, and need to hurry to w

uelton? L

ing the way the other maids behind the head maid

earlier, my bare feet slapping against cold hardwoo

No

e was entirely different from the one I'd worn for twe

ell, I have

ely didn't exist in any normal human genetic code. My eyes were diffe

ce. The villainess. The woman wh

htgown. The chill of the floor. The distant sound of birds outside-birds t

world of the book. As

IN

d suddenly words appeared in my vision-floating, tra

ITIALIZATI

RMED: BEATR

TIVE: SURVIVE

DDS OF SUR

the universe thou

NT: YOU A

laugh. At leas

ION: THE HATRED

GINNING IN:

ould reach zero, the be

d male voice said, "His

ext flashed v

DIRECTLY LEADS TO Y

wall

ad already star