THE EX WIFE WHO ROSE FROM THE ASHES

POINT

st did

y fingers brushing against dresses I had not worn in months. Some still had ta

ally seeing

as somewh

a soaked through my dress. Back at the way

your

llowe

s. I pulled it out slowly and held it a

ked..

l. Not speci

ost l

r been enough

the mirror again. My face looked calm. Too calm. The kind o

d stay

e wou

Sara would take my place at the table without hesitation.

t sat heavy

r thought f

o

ady on the phone. Not

pect to se

and around mine. C

omething inside

, I would be pr

did not

uld be pu

appear if they made thin

lifted

o

oul

stood th

o one spo

eye in that

oul

I was st

-

iful in a way that

lly arranged. The kind of place where people

ound. It had

he moment I

Moving easily. Laughing softly. Like they

ap of my dress sli

too loud aga

hat I not

always noticed

peaking to a couple. The moment

erself and wa

rush. She

ed me, she too

as light b

me," sh

"You tol

yes softened. Not

she always did, like she was searchi

ired," she

m fi

or a second longer,

aid, before turning

y c

nted

how these t

her away. I would be left standing somewhere

, I n

I walked

e near the edg

lose. Not

without being in th

ing tray and held it, even thou

hands somet

pas

. Laughed. Mo

lanced

did

self that

invisible t

ost r

mo

e room

small a

t pause in movement. Heads

t before

urn

ha

Sa

g in t

ed at the sma

ca

ccide

ili

mach d

that gest

lt

ved i

onged to s

wor

rse sh

ow to make sure every eye landed on he

ooked

fid

g had ever

had never

ever left ever

ad always

ready moving

a way I had never s

d loudly. "Look at you. S

ara's arm. Sm

id somet

y la

und ca

e looke

or a s

was e

ntio

o

isf

rned

tened slightly

spers s

. But not q

ame tog

it was al

he other one st

all

aiting to b

lready

word

ehol

straigh

rd that w

any t

any y

ldhood into this marriage like

glass down

any tighter,

ed to

lt controlle

ot r

ot r

ive them

htly against

g strong,

tender

en look at w

the bottles lin

Perfect.

sed on

ath

the

ot t

ot f

t s

t e

she

before s

ift in

tion that came w

epped b

os

cl

smell he

pensive. D

not

stayed home," s

was soft.

as nothing

," she continued. "C

d not

" she said. "Th

tened slightly

tay," she said quietly. "Y

t rose

my eyes

r loved you

one l

e

allo

she said. "Even

d, my mind

ry sur

early

ng too

name like

ike I was not j

as somet

hed i

ion of hi

had never

una," Sara

ice ch

er

ar

r yet...

h caught

managed it,"

p tigh

died. She stopped

tarted bea

ud

should do

ing wen

the

ide

hing s

mot

pital

ll of m

and i

k.

elling me t

end

sur

atched

er disapp

move on like she h

inside m

ld wal

hought

ea

ro

k a

t do

, everything w

use it a

into proof that

k a

av

ht

co

hou

s loosene

dy sh

st

all it wo

p away

away fr

not ta

d before I c

he slap cut th

ar

ea

na

d snapped

le

ete s

ose and fe

alm

not re

en a l

-

thing

yes o

voic

ovement

e since I walked

not in

was

a

ce was

s locke

it c

his ha

seco

t he wou

ing inside

fe

exac

hing

ad been holding

did

tually d

e nothing lef

ot get t

grabbed

ld

ped

o

ng beh

a

o

rif

quietly, "were

n fr

ped Sara,

n see

id not lea

s she

pa

wi

fe," she

ds felt

e

nd

how you tre

said n

epped f

attack

her," Ro

like

esit

rgum

a f

invited," Ro

ice wa

tro

You caused a scene

rned to

d not

was e

le

d h

contr

I sa

cr

an

ned to t

r my protecti

srespects her

answer

ne a

ne m

e looke

or a s

that

ing I had not fe

pi

bliga

gnit

alked

owly came b

thing ha

ood

on

ot th

od across

door Sara had

at

r at

t h

han th

d my gl

d was

t time in a

ot feel

stil

his t

going to s