Babbitt

e drove a "prospect" out to view a four-flat tenement in the Linton district. He was inspired by the customer's admiration of the new cigar-lighte

unced that he would have the sleeping-porch wired at once. He had enormous and poetic admiration, though very little understanding, of all mechanical devices. They were his symbols of truth and beauty. Regarding each new

n of plastic slate roof, kalamein doors, and seven-eighths-inch blind-nailed flooring, began those diplomacies of hurt su

region: new factories of hollow tile with gigantic wire-glass windows, surly old red-brick factories stained with tar, high-perched water-tanks, big red trucks like locomotives, and,

ut Henry Thompson growled, "Oh, t' hell with 'em! I'm not going to crawl around mooching discounts, not from nobody." It was one of the differences between Thompson, the old-fashioned, lean Yankee, rugged, traditional, stage type of American business man, and Babbitt, the plump, smooth, efficient, up-to-the-minute and otherwise perfected modern. Whenever Thompson twanged, "Put your John Hancock on that line," Babbitt was as much amuse

te University. Ryland wore spats, he wrote long letters about City Planning and Community Singing, and, though he was a Booster, he was known to carry in his pocket small volumes of poetry in a foreign language. All this was going too far.

th the promise of a discount on Thompson'

nd! Damn Charley McKelvey! Just because they make more money than I do, they think they're so superior. I wouldn'

mail, he signed his morning's letters, he talked to

commission, and to-day he complained, "I think I ought to get a bonus if I put throu

ng and keep 'em happy 'stead of jumping on 'em and poking 'em up-get more work out of '

engaged to a girl, but have to put in your evenings chasing after buyers. Well, why the devil shouldn't you? What do you want to do? Sit around holding her hand? Let me tell you, Stan, if your girl is worth her salt, she'll be glad to know you're out hustling, making some money to furnish the home-nest, instead of doing the lovey-dovey. The kind of fellow that kicks about working overtime, that w

s why I want that bonus! Honest, Mr. Babbitt, I don't want to get fresh, but this Heiler hous

be unfair to the others on the staff. If we start giving you bonuses, don't you see we're going to hurt the feeling and be unjust to Penniman and Laylock? Right's right, and discrimination is unfair, and there ain't going to be any of it in this office! Don't get the idea, Stan, that because during the

e-" sighed Graff, as

ey attacked the sacred purse that he was frightened into fury, but then, being a man given to oratory and high principles, he enjoyed the sound of his ow

s, got to haul folks over the coals now and then for their own good. Unpleas

to-morrow, and Miss McGoun and Miss Bannigan would do well to be there early, and for heaven's sake remind him to call up Conrad Lyte soon 's he came in. To-night he departed with feigned and apologetic liveliness. He was as afraid of his still-faced clerks-of the eyes focused on him, Miss McGoun staring with head lifted from her typing, Miss B

charms of Floral Heights; the roofs of red tile and green s

I

had raked it properly. With some satisfaction and a good deal of discussion of the matter with Mrs. Babbitt, Ted, and Howard Littlefield, he concluded that the furnace-man had not raked it properly. He cut two tufts of wild grass with his wife's largest dressmaking-scissors; he informe

s, up for two minutes, while he muttered, "Ought take more exercise; keep in shape;" then we

d, a powerful woman,

ve weather-states, his four-hundred-and-fifty-dollar fee, his lunch with Paul Riesling, and the proven merits of the new cigar-lighter

why don't you get a sedan? That would be perfectly sli

at. I kind of like an open car.

never tried a sedan. Let's get one.

eces," from Verona; "It's a lot sportier," from Ted; and from Tinka, the youngest, "Oh, let's have a se

st to enable you children to look like millionaires! And I like an open car, so you can put the top down on

raus can afford a closed car,

l in and waste it and throw it around, the way he does! Don't believe in

r indicated its social rank as precisely as the grades of the peerage determined the rank of an English family-indeed, more precisely, considering the opinion of old county families upon newly created brewery barons and woolen-mill viscounts. The details of precedence were never officially determined. There was no court to decid

its varnish off." Mrs. Babbitt said abstractedly, "Snoway talkcher father." Babbitt raged, "If you're too much of a high-class gentleman, and you belong to the bon ton and so on, why, you needn't take the car out this evening."

pants, and loaf, and cuss." He said cautiously to his wife, "I've been in correspondence with a man in New York-wants me to see him about a real-estate trade-may not come off

with no discussion save an automatic "Wh

Ted settled down to his Home Study; plain geomet

as-beens," he protested. "Oh, I guess I could stand it to see a show by Shakespeare, if they had swell scenery

of the professors and everybody, but I do think there's things in Shakespeare-not that I read him much,

olemn face of a devotee, breathing heavily through his open mouth, he plodded nightly through every picture, and during the rite he detested interruptions. Furthermore, he felt that on the subject of Shakespeare he wasn't really an authority. Neither the Advocate-Times, the Even

system like we have in this state. Be a good deal better if you took Business English, and learned how to write an ad, or letters that would pull. But there it is, and there's no talk, argument, or discussion about it! Tro

nd he's always spieling about the 'value of languages,' and the poor soak doesn't make but eighteen hundred a year, and no traveling salesman would think of working for that. I know what I'd like to do. I'd like to be an aviator, or own a corking big garage, or else-a fellow was telling me about it yesterday-I'd like to be one of these fellows that the Standard Oil Company sends out to China, and you

rait of a young man with a pure brow, an iron jaw, silk socks, and hair like patent leather. Standing with one hand in his trousers-pocket and the other extended with chiding forefinger, he was bewitching an audience of men wi

$ $

SPERITY IN PU

Told at

the dear fellow. One time he was so timid he was plumb scared of the Super, and never got credit for the dandy work he did. Him at the De Luxe! And if he wasn't ordering a tony feed with all the "fix

glad to know I'm now Assistant Super at the old shop, and right on the High Road to Prosperity and Domination, and I look forward with co

-- WHAT WE

ddress y

give

ll dialec

ropose t

ntertain

convincing s

ild big v

te a strong

tional, powerful a

be a MA

- ------------

r leading universities, lecturer, extensive traveler, author of books, poetry, etc., a man with the unique PERSONALITY OF THE MASTER MINDS, he is ready

as skeptical, too, but I wrote (JUST ON A POSTCARD, with name and address) to the publisher for the lessons-sent On Trial, money back if you are not absolutely satisfied. There were eight simple lessons in plain language anybody could understand, and I studied them just a few hours a night, then started practising on the wife. Soon found I could talk right up to t

EDUCATION

Sandpi

PERCENTER OR A

ty. Nothing in motoring or real estate had indicated what a Solid Citizen and

t can get away with it in real estate is just because he can make a good talk, even when he hasn't got a doggone thing to say! And it certainly is pretty cute the way they get out all these courses on various topics and subjects nowadays.

. Babbitt comfortably

anual training and typewriting and basketball and dancing-and in these correspondence-cour

PLAY A MA

some one passes a slighting remark or uses improper language,

nents. The lessons start with simple movements practised before your mirror-holding out your hand for a coin, the breast-stroke in swimming,

ll the world! Gosh, I'd like to take one fellow I know in sch

useless thing I ever hea

r Rone, and somebody passed a slighting remar

bust the record for t

any mucker that passed a slighting r

le the everlasting daylights out of you-and I'll do it without p

placidly, "it's not at all nice,

reciate-And then suppose I was walking with YO

stay home and study their geometry and mind their own affairs instead of hanging around

oosh, Dad,

they never do. You always hear about these women that get followed and insulted and all, but I don't believe a

sometime! Just SUPPOSE! Can't you suppo

an imagine thi

ehold that's got an imagination?" Babbitt demanded. "But what's the use of a lot of supposing? Supposin

st-just suppose you were in your of

alt

r that you ha

hate any

ppose y

girls with their dresses up to their knees and powdered and painted and rouged and God knows what all as if they were chorus-girls, then you'd know-and you'd suppose-that if there's any one thing that I stand for in the real-estate circles of Zenith, it is that w

ut

lops! Suppose you were out some place and a fellow called you vile names. Think you'd want to box and jump around like a dancing-master? You'd just lay him out cold (at least I certainly h

ent kinds of correspondence-courses there are, inst

taught boxing in t

himself pounding the stuffin's out of you before you have a chance

king only eighteen a week in a barber shop, writes to us that since taking our course he is now pulling down $5,000 as an Osteo-vitalic Physician;" and the thi

Be More Popular and Make More Money-YOU Can Ukulele or Sing Yourself into Society! By the secret principles of a Newly Discovered System of Music Teaching, any one-man, lady or child-can, without tiresome

nge of scene, that entrancing and compelling interest and fascination, which your active mind and adventurous spirit crave. Think of being the chief figure and directing factor in solving strange mysteries and baffling cri

cklace! Wouldn't it be swell to travel everyw

put their minds to it the way they have to routing products in a factory, they couldn't figure out some scheme so a person wouldn't have to monkey with all this pract

ing the Memory, Motion-picture-acting and Developing the Soul-power, Banking and Spanish, Chiro

eg'lar key-industry! Must rank right up with groceries and movies. Always figured somebody'd come along with the brains to not leave education to a lot of bookworms and impractical theorists but make a big thing out of it. Yes, I can see how a lot of these course

maturity of a boy who is respectfully listened to by his e

ecent and patriotic for him to blow his horn and boost the Alma Mater-but smatter of fact, there's a whole lot of valuable time lost even at the U., studying poetry and Fren

was a Wop invention, but anyway: they think these mechanical improvements are all that we stand for; whereas to a real thinker, he sees that spiritual and, uh, dominating movements like Efficiency, and Rotarianis

rrespondence-cour

one of Mrs. Babbitt's virtues was that, except during dinner-parties, when she was transformed into a

hink they're learning something, and nobody 'round to help them and-Y

swell Harvard dormitory with pictures and shields and table-covers and those doodads, do you? I tell you, I'm a college man-I KNOW! There is one objection you might make though. I certainly do protest

r the moment, sharing the high thin air of Babbitt's speculation as t

a good idea if I could go off to China or some pepp

llege-course I got my B.A. in sociology and all that junk-' Oh, it puts an awful crimp in their style! But there wouldn't be any class to saying 'I got the degree of Stamp-licker from the Bezuzus Mail-order University!' You see-My dad was a pretty good old coot, but he never had much style to him, and I had to work darn hard to earn my w

Gosh! Gee whiz! I forgot all about those kids I was go

't done all yo

t thing in

el

thing in the morning'! You'll do it right now!" but to-night he said, "Well, be

boy," he said

he

going to pick up? Are

's come over the children of this generation. I used to have to tell Papa and Mama ev

's no longer a kid, and I wouldn't want

take him aside and tell him about-Thi

Things to a boy's mind. Think up enough devilment by himself. But I wonde

. He says all this-Instructi

whatever Henry T. Thompson thinks-about morals, I

a way to ta

gs and education, then I know I think just the opposite. You may not regard me as any great brain-shark, but believe me, I'm a regular c

ll you?

ey don't make high-class executives; they haven't any sense of diplomacy. When the proper opportunity and occasion arises so it just comes in

chairs and swinging couch in which they loafed on Sunday afternoons. Outside only the lights of Do

ed's all right. Whole family all right. And good business. Not many fellows make four hundred and fifty bucks, practically half of a thousand dollars easy as I did to-day! Maybe when we all get to rowi

sling, of their youth together

ecoming governor of the state. While he read law he worked as a real-estate salesman. He saved money, lived in a boarding-house, supped on poached egg on hash. The lively Paul Riesling (who was certai

rnor some day. Where Zilla mocked him as a country boy, Myra said indignantly that he was ever so much solider than the young dandies who had been born in the great city of Zenith-an ancient settlement in 1897, one hundred and five

r that way at all" unless one was going to marry her. But she was a dependable companion. She was always ready to go skating, walking; always content to hear his discourses on the great thi

f a party given by Zilla. Somehow her head was on his shoulder and he was kissing away the tears-and she

g, and escaped. He walked for an hour, trying to find a way of telling her that it was a mistake. Often, in the month after, he got near to telling her, but it was pleasant to have a girl in his a

heir closer relations into what promised to be ardent affection, but it drooped into bored routine. Yet she existed only for him and

standing in the dark sun-parlor. "But-I wish I could 've had a whirl at law

settled down he smoothed his wife's hair, and