Married By My Father's Debt

still ringing in my ears

first time we met. A cup of tea is going cold in front of him. A newspaper he is not reading is folded a

e says. It is not a ques

ay since the funeral. Every day after the will reading. Every day since I stood in a study and

from him. It is the chair I sat

fternoon in a palace. He does not know I have two weeks to decide if I want to marry a stranger. He d

hundred people who used to work for my father and now work for me. I tell him it has been a week. I tell him my family is deali

s to him.. There is something about him that I notice more tonight than I did before. He has a kind of patience. It is like

ne carrying somethin

oes not quite reach his eyes. "I cou

oth bad at hidi

od at pretending we a

is laughing at another table. The bell above the door is ringing for people who have no idea wh

something?" I

ays. "I do not prom

t of the foam disappear into the coffee. "Do you ever feel like your whol

s fast. Like a light going out and coming on.

hing someone said to me today. About people getting to li

he idea that where you're born decides who you are allowed to love. Who you are allowed t

e way they do. It is like he is describing my life of his own. "Who

eel it in my stomach. It is warm and unsettling. "Is it?" he

reat is hanging over his head the way one hangs over mine.. There is a wall behind his eyes. It is the wall I noticed

worth I do not think anyone sho

worth " he says, "I do not think anyone

ith the insistence of someone who wants to go home. When we finally step outside the street is quiet. The streetlights ar

ng nervous in the way he says it. It is like he is a

e a tomorrow that's not

not a mess " Freddie says. "I

treats like a sanctuary.. He is already turned. He is already walking down the street with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders set in that carefu

s the street from a car idling at the curb. It is parked close to the café. It was there the time we sat inside. Though I only notice it now. The windows are tinted so dark th

nothing to do with Freddie. I tell myself a lot of things as I walk home in the dark. The way I told mysel

one buzzes in my pocket. It is a text f

ted in fourteen days. He also wishes you to know that your recent activi

one thing I have done in the last two days that could be considered an "activity" worth not

are at the message until the screen dims and goes dark.. All I ca