A Voyage of Consolation

mself invented-but I do, and it is with every apology that I mention it. I once had such a good time in England that I printed my experiences, and at the very end of the volume it seemed necessary to

r the future, was autobiographically impossible even if I had felt so inclined. So I committed the indiscretion. In order that the world might be assured that my heroine married and lived happily ever afterwards, I took it prematurely into my confidence regarding my intention. The thi

iverpool in a receptive and appreciative, rather than a critical and antagonistic, state of mind, to endeavour to assimilate all that was worth assimilating over there, remembering that this might give me as much as I wanted to do in the time. I remember he expressed himself rather finely about the only proper attitude for Americans visiting England being that of magnanimity, and about the claims of kinship, only once removed, to our forbearance and affection. He put me on my guard, so to speak, about only one thing, and that was spelling.

and am still sorry, that during the four months I spent in England I didn't meet a single duke. This is less surprising than it looks, as they are known to be very scarce, and at least a quarter of a million Americans visit Great Britain every year; but I should like to have known one or two. As it was, four or five knights-knights are very thick-one baronet, Lord Mafferton, one marquis-but we had no conversation-one colonel of militia, one Lord Mayor, and a Horse Guard, rank unknown, comprise my acquaintance with the aristocracy. A duke or s

bearance and affection, I never so much as sat out a dance

. Anyone could see, after the first half hour, that he was not. During the first half hour it is, of course

were blue. Not sky blue, or china blue, but a kind of sea blue o

?" said

reassuringly, "were not to b

said A

p smiling a little at the recollectio

ve?" ask

thought as little of proposi

said A

ment. But they had such a way of taking things for gran

d Arthur. "Ma

body about it-for his sake. It was all a silly mistake.

ver here," Arthur remarked, "I should say there w

by this time his expression was aggressive. I thought his

o say that what Chicago people as a whole thought about it I didn't know and I didn't ca

r. Page suggested, "all the big ones on

. And you'll admit there's a great tendency for little ones to shake down. It's only a qu

s. Our little strawberr

e American law of gravity is different. In

his whole bearing expre

I mean the loveliest n

ranted. Instead, he looked incredulous a

'?" he asked. His tone

y 'affter'?" I

s, "in the part of the world I come from everybody sa

s. As far as mothers go, I must tell you that momma approves of my pronunciation. She likes it better than anything el

a little of your good old American?

those they love, and I certainly had not out

dear Arthur," I said, "the m

emed to stiffen. He sat up and made an outward movement on the seat of his chair which

m which would imply that I was not an America

n't know why we should glory in talking through our noses." Involuntaril

eplace. He stood beside it, with his elbow on the mantelpiece, not in front of it with hi

ell us that we talk thro

ther. Fortunately I was sitting in a rocking chair-the only one I had not been able to persuad

re pleased to call the 'American accent,'" continued Mr. Page, with a scorn which I felt in t

ght if I said nothing at this point we might st

ed them out, "but if there were such a thing as an American accent, I think I've lived long enough, and patrolled this little Union of ours extensively

" I said, and I

ate to pay

that the society of earls and count

n accent to drop out of the conversation, i

ou're havin' to settle down amongs

t by this time I was mad. There was criticism in my voice, and a

p, but there was that in the air which con

rican, like sixty million other Americans, and the language of Abraham Lincoln is good

rry to contradi

stem like a florist's bouquet, and all the upper part of him was pink and trembli

I did myself the honour of proposing, I was under the

t I dropped my engagement ring, which rolled upon t

th me?" he asked, and

was

restore that defective larynx. Then I went straight upstairs to the telephone and rang up the Central office. When they rep

ttentively, with one eye closed-I believe it is the sign of an unbalanced intellect to shut one eye when you use the telephone,

k, of Chicago

om number

k end of a trans-American telephone. But one does not bandy words acros

prob

nd then the still sm

ed at present. An

half-past nine o'clock, the hotel clerk in New York was speaking to me

is important. Ask Mr.

ppa to put on his clothes and come d

is now s

comes singing across in a way that no member of your family would ev

ntercourse. I had not the slightest hesi

ater pipes burst? Strike in the kitchen? Sound the alarm-sen

ge is broken. Do you get

cannot express in italics

say so! B

responde

the disaster a

for it would have been diffic

. He coughed once or twice and made some indistinct inquir

ome, and the other places. I'll stand in. Germanic sails Wednesdays. Start by night train

y longer than was necessary, he was already up so much later than I was. I turned away f

cago and New York was not inviolable. Besides, there are moments when one feels a little annoyed with one's

marked, "that if I had shrieked

shut the gate. I came up immediately, and all this time,

iment, which she did not bequeath to me. In that r

d, "then I won't h

on the floor and put my head in your lap and weep all over your new brocade. That's what you'd really enjoy. But, under circumstances like th

cture. At least, these were her principal objections. I said, on mature consideration, I didn't see why Mrs. Simmons shouldn't come to tea, that t

suppose a convent wouldn't be of

ught she

to bed. That was a communication to the Herald, which I sent off in plenty of time

ty, and Miss Mamie Wick, of 1453, Lakeside-avenue, Chicago, will not take place.

eyes, that Arthur was a re