Z'S
TER
ely s
my eyes, all I cou
ee
Yo
side Gre
daydreams I had ever had
t butterflies flutter
xplain how e
time, I wa
the edge of my bed and stared at my pho
ULATIONS still d
earlier, yet his words
ing to do whe
t that came with
e in my life, I h
led of toast and orange juice, m
e house because my mother believed t
myself d
with a newspaper in one hand and a
ound the kitchen as though she
perfectly ordinary day
er said without looking
kempt," my m
ing to you
for a slic
plate of baco
t phone, you'd look more presentable
asn't
always compare
none of that
ad
h twisted
I tell
o
fter br
o
only make t
en
folded his
ething
t have somethin
d continue, m
cholarship doe
e it
t t
de it seem as though t
ped my
it does w
m fell
r looked
do you
llowe
e scholar
diately fill
wly lowered t
the sch
r blinke
just detonated a bomb in
et, turned up the volume of the go
y got a
er hands in
, than
ed? You actuall
ea
me in comple
oy everyone whispered about would one day
ou, Jesus,"
he email," my
lly read
eks, I saw a genuine smi
inside m
leave?" my
t mo
anished from her
t mo
es
s too
ook he
ork is too
here this conver
with this ri
too
o NYU, and t
r raised
wn, both
at's waiting for y
thing for m
igh
't you just be
lded h
so desperate to
, pl
ready ex
let
tared
t to b
ion immedia
found fault with al
ough, things
ime, I was putt
know how to d
next month,"
hat's
before either of t
w days were
oke to me unless sh
normally, but even he could feel
eemed genuin
ly going to li
nd lightly pu
, I
mil
to miss your
ou ner
lit
shru
fine. Just
other chip in
be
aus
I don't hate Gr
no
kno
e never felt as tho
the clothes scatt
felt like a
mained
hings easie
w I was going
r things were
, my father surprised me
en
s,
f the phone wi
smi
agreed to let you stay
red a
re you s
remembe
d seen them, I had
rtain was that the Alexis fa
e airport, I was still packing wh
, I was
had come to
e quietly s
ieve my baby
took my han
ea
es sof
you used to cry whenev
hed qu
um
e to help you get dr
st tig
trembled
bandoning
mil
one phone
tears from
a few moments before
e almost
rarely hug
s around her and
e me so
t is
e yourself
mil
hink ab
ort felt
happened
choed ar
ed across the
like the scenes I
e finally bec
ck-in process while my mother adj
ed your m
es
char
um
sm
st maki
you. I'
suddenly appear
re
et before
at the
later, anothe
the a
lifted
e he
dsome
sed some of the anxiety I h
u c
smi
he most important
ered h
ted. I just couldn't accept t
peration in his voice
llow myself to f
you sho
t apol
efusing
ent echoed throug
ng had
t out a s
that's
iled
rve your
sed m
pped his ar
fr
bye,
ost l
alling
and step
very long while, I truly beli
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