Icing The Heart

R 3: M

y's

d my apartment twice and hated myse

ly it probably needed therapy. I had rearranged the throw pillows, wiped down the windo

nt

cleaning gav

from collapse. When my skates were sharpened, my gear packed, my meals planned an

rvived on stubbornn

by keepin

s who called cruelty "toughening up." Distance from reporters who w

y distance fr

ell rang

took a deep breath. O

something sarcastic as usual but the

sible, irritating face that looked like it had been designed to ruin perfectly good

nd was coffee.

he said. "

the cup. T

you kn

before morni

my face. "You wat

. "You drink coffee like it is a med

efusing caffeine on prin

make us friends

under that

oo

"Can I come in or do we plan to perform t

e carried the boxes i

s, an indoor gym or an elevator that opened directly into my ego. It had one bedroom, one bathroo

looked

," he

alled af

t say it

ught it

tened his mouth again.

es. Yours are pra

wn by the couch. "W

d not have done an

me, I thought

y time and nearly groaned be

ffee so damn right? I tho

h," I fin

s dropp

five foot nine. But then, Jaxon was b

e and simply

lain. I know

ept in wor

bad pillows do not

is face, quick and gone.

t to do with that

ensive shirts. Dark sweaters. Training gear folded with military precision. A watch case that probably cost mor

nt. Louder somehow, ev

side of the c

closet then back

es

re two h

hem wi

or

glass palace. This is

a second. "Your rules

something else beneath the words. I t

the rest of his things. Everything else about Jaxon was polished, controlled, expensive. But the stic

p your head

at it t

ng," Jaxon said to me. His vo

ned a

he same expression he wor

I could stop myself. "

ere lo

allowed in homes

hard captain disappeared and I saw something younger beneath him. Something wounded and furi

from one of the

matically t

smile. He could not have been more than ten. His face in the picture was

asked despite the t

o fast it was alm

wo

r it was a

ngers brushed mine but this ti

k about he

both hand

closet space, then over fridge space then over the bathroom counter

all this?

inc

ore product

lousy is

showing. There

ein powder poured sadly into a shaker. Food. Eggs, toast, avocado, grille

orway and looked suspicio

k up from the

ds. Did you

I had better opportun

g," I repl

then immediately regretted making eye contact with him be

t," he

idea what

are imp

ildly a

nough," he repli

his phone while washing the pan. It wa

kup music for divor

listen to angry workout playlists made by

use bass is a

hed in

, we were al

s the p

Kane felt more d

tled, 'COUPLE BACKSTORY - FINAL APPROVED VER

e distance apart, going through the

ctice?" I read aloud. "That

belie

ke a sports deter

p open on his knees as he did

tru

s slid

Captain. I am joking. We both kn

face but before I could

he screen and s

to tak

t girl

not smi

chen, leaving his laptop

yself no

ally

reen lit up wit

he words before

dment - Callahan

tilted ju

Resoluti

xon's email beside words that sounded

stomach dropped so hard it felt

ss than a minute

p too quic

rrowed. "Yo

t ti

a terri

akes one to

is gaze moved from my face to the laptop, then back again.

r. Mandatory bonding, according to Coach.

layers who greeted Jaxon like a king and me like a pu

e had to sell it. His thigh b

ticed. God, how I

efore the first rou

ble, grinning like an idiot. "Did not know

ed for my water. Jaxon's ha

she finally found a way t

ter came j

imes silence was strategy. Sometimes letting men reveal themselves was better than w

smiling. His shoul

growl and the table qui

orward. "What? We are all happy for you two." His eyes slid to me. "So,

went dead

aped back. I caught his arm befor

Brad did not

d

r me would only become another headline a

only fucking happening here is how badly I am going to fuck up your s

A laugh broke from someone near the end of the tabl

staring at me like he was s

nder my skin. I kicked off my shoes, paced the living room the

ed me to defend

I did

flexed.

u tried

oked

" I a

returne

then. He took one ste

lly do n

eath

ough it sounded weaker tha

opped in

ed. "I really,

bs. For a second,

Close enough to smell his cologne. Close enough to remember the kiss

lowered t

have step

id

irst. He checked the screen and whatever he sa

take this

I stood in the living room, still breathing like

hrough the wall,

you not

us

es not chang

her

h

act is the

breathing

s later, h

y kissed me was gone.

is jacket fr

hotel tonight," he

him. "What j

thi

ax

mptiness in his face scared me

lem," he said. "N

ame too quiet. For a long moment, I stood there with my puls

he email was still there. My

made my bl