Phantasmagoria, and other poems

ight, at hal

, and cross

home, too l

with cigar

ing in t

strangeness

hing whit

g near me i

for the ca

hat carel

ntly the

r and to

aid “Come, c

st inconsid

there, if y

a cold,” the

e upon th

look in so

before my

Ghost was

when he ca

behind

u here,” I s

aw a thin

Don’t shiv

d gladly te

o tell

he gave a

so bad a

ink it a

o being i

me to

have just as

ay, to fea

o fear t

said I, “ca

wardice

an visit whe

Humans ca

the int

A flutter

nnatural

red you mean

see that yo

xplain m

classed, I b

ng to t

that they

merely count

s and oth

one-ghost’ h

arrived l

emarked a

all that G

me the n

this is a

cheapl

f course ther

is only r

ve to be

e left you o

you’ve not

never sen

e by accid

one was

as first cho

ng up a

Goblin, Elf,

e fail them

Ghoul that

s said the p

you kept

Phantom h

rst, of cour

’t well

said I, “the

test to

choose a br

a man of

reat com

young, Sir,”

ht think. T

s by the

laces that

a lot of

ve never

t domes

y flurry

ood Rules

to know

ies were w

the litt

o utterl

found a Ma

so scared

I said, “I’m

s not a D

down: you’ll

self, you ha

snack of

tainly, you

to offer

shall be gl

say them lou

that you a

shall hear th

a piece

I offer yo

you ARE so

e bit o

And may I

drop o

looked at

ainly I

so white

seemed to gro

oury, an

dim and flic

oceeded

ims of B

— Hys Fy

ut don’t supp

ing you a

ur Victim

the curtains

them in t

hem slowly

wing them

nute’s time

his head a

of wrath a

ou must on

first obs

he Victim

of any co

a conve

d say ‘HOW C

hat YOU be

se your cour

S BACK, MY L

ppropria

this he sa

perhaps c

go and sha

if he begi

the thing’

f he shoul

or on

give a ho

te the ki

you mea

find him wit

is rathe

case succe

up some c

r, in th

you make a

rs best w

must contri

urself from

learns ho

tells us w

monious

A BLUE OR CR

quite forgo

CH THE DOOR

’ll visit H

attempt

o bonfires

scratching

to see

was written

ests of t

us, as I

M WITH A GR

O CONTRAD

” said I, “as

compreh

h SOME Gho

so CONSTAN

that you

said, “YOU fir

of hosp

instincti

fails to tr

oper co

ress a Ghos

him with

mitted by

l FORMAL p

u’re SURE t

prohibits

Ghosts are

convicted

n pardoned

ntly be sl

means ‘be c

soon un

scarcely h

when YOU’re

’ by a

is one yo

ould quot

T BE ADDRESS

M A SIMPL

HE LAWS

YOU WISH TO

AND-OUT P

AS ‘MY GO

S USE, IN

‘YOUR ROYAL

g rather ho

o much

don’t objec

glass of b

t looks i

III— S

u really wa

a wretc

ncied Ghost

xactly i

fairish

ell,” said h

above th

often find

ther pleasa

than they

course are

hem from

efer to k

pid company

but th

they claim

, they tre

quite benea

o Turkey

cing a

oo proud,” s

es such

id they con

hat ‘the pla

I ‘kept b

Kobold came

tle Gho

ke in-“Ins

Ghosts is s

yourself

Kobold,” sa

the Spec

often see

gown, a cr

t-cap with

e Brocken bu

t a sort

England t

took the for

complains

e says, when

old bones

inns, where

pecial hun

im the IN

— bore it

nizing w

could be s

till the

provoking

not be indul

ou’d better

d have SOME

re all the

ody can r

f yours wil

ing as

r THING supp

too dismal

a Mode

as tender,

ry much

member, if

e you have t

them sen

he bread impr

ng bette

ou anythin

a LITTLE le

t QUITE

g round with

d “Goodnes

nt on to

s an inconv

er snug no

ow window,

to let th

,” said I,

ioned by a

his faith

re who he w

e pinned

ed by wha

a job I

a livin

remarkab

are they

No matter w

etting a

u were m

a thing I WI

tell yo

he, “we’re g

bottle i

n arrange

e took a c

cried “H

dodge it

caught it, a

y on m

ember not

can cle

sitting o

Two and fiv

AND TWO

passed I n

sed: I o

t last my se

eglected, d

was get

ing mists I

at smirked

that he wa

n in Bi

were a

V— Hys

I was a li

y time

on his fav

d chawed the

e us for

is in prin

y it’s no

well as Brad

t uneasil

y though

Nursery Rhy

t think

le Ghostese

es,’ you k

ttered to

ook; so if yo

to search

e cried. “We’ll

ember all

the thin

ut in a ‘M

y agent sa

rary swel

it seemed

azine h

was a Bro

er was

had occur

en would b

ere taugh

n soon bec

it once

ll out in di

Pixy, two

was a

nd Kelpie we

a lot o

Poltergeis

rolls (which b

, and a

a snuff-box

d with

pinch) — next

Phantom (th

t, a Le

e Spectres ch

n the usu

watched them

t make them

d so stran

what on eart

d all head

told me n

twitched me

ed me in

I’ve often w

a Spect

e use?” (He h

the ghos

on US w

m-life was

was bar

with an o

first I th

ed a lot

dungeons, ca

er I w

at and howle

e skin with dr

battl

old-fashione

begin t

newest thing

chilled me

an AWFUL

he added, “

nds an e

rself, my

something l

stant pr

ve learned to

ht the d

ty much whe

nd gibber

mething L

d it, and

do it, e-ven if you pr

have a tu

ural in

I think it i

s, in da

d in the Rom

you recollec

have fou

spent ten po

ing as a

it answers

has eff

t worth t

on quenched th

or bein

g-up is al

things you w

be made

e, take a Ha

cross-bone

to burn (say

lens of e

f chains

e things you

ing on t

all the co

of itself

ience o

they’re so

ed–House

known them

ost was Fren

from t

ects are o

the IRISH

or all you

a week the

yourself

V— Byc

nsult the ‘Vic

hey should

hance — becau

of people

lly in

shook his he

them? N

a job to dr

y one sin

be no en

can’t leave C

to pick a

e case of

ne Host’ mi

o state h

really wou

so full o

for a s

r then we

on circu

we don’t cons

e thing’s

e often qui

a well-man

an have hi

host’s a m

a man o

house is no

as THAT,” sa

st’s con

does not su

a job to

twenty ye

cotings b

y is the

as not a ph

r havin

said, “you’

e what is

by tha

loosening al

replied, a

e drilling h

kirting-boar

thorough

times find t

you re

nd come whist

ere’ll be a

y gasped

en rather

,” I add

ccessfully

been busy al

and bea

aid he; “per

ed anothe

Ghost, that

n introdu

tured to

thing, as yo

rtainl

e roads in s

ight–Mayor’s

an hour

ght–Mayor?” I

ring my

don’t know T

ou never

a grand

bout and s

too much

are to pinc

hem till they

t serves t

sup on things

d, “eggs a

duck — and t

’t get an a

y much

mensely f

ts the o

fact, if y

call him

R AND CO

he was el

t every Sp

ME, but di

frantic wi

us with e

as over, f

o tell t

the revers

trot was

easy

ward him f

was bak

over twen

roceeded,

him on t

reat liber

up like a

just for pu

ys Johnson, ‘

uld pick

id he, “is

d for a

est to prove

om merely

ontemptu

, breath and

ourse to

he said, “

you call

you’re onl

is cold an

myself

At least

st scepti

on is st

nough,” said h

d in all

rength, I’m

thing’s as

S are a w

I— Dysc

strives a h

r climbe

it, in a l

moment le

the thin

g once beg

desert h

ng, ever ke

ll hut aga

he hopes

l nerve and fo

y a puff

as rises

e grows mo

n breath m

, gains at le

ns the up

ng with uns

a buffet

s him on

mself, like

iftly do

ight, from st

a headlong

upon th

had resol

ion to

quite a dif

y human

d not qu

g still the

I hoped

prove the

g everyth

an

every sin

efore’ or

eeled, a hu

syllogis

ous wher

hat’s regul

luster

cool and t

idiculou

er seen

e a man I u

one day

g, the si

his slippers

HAT’S VER

IS curious

s perhaps

’s true as t

ur name’s Tib

y name’s

he cried — hi

r two les

said I. “My

“Tibbets?” “A

YOU’RE NOT

struck the

red half t

’t you have

ters of an

e of all

miles throug

he night i

find that it

to do it

lly TOO

!” he cried

er some

ve patience

no more dis

iotic

waiting he

ing me

s not the ho

t’ll do — b

like that,

fine to thr

such a

you enqui

inute that

ed in a

it worrie

so far o

s I to bla

” said he. “

n’t bad

inly you’v

f wine and

violence

nts like th

one out

ault after

ds, old T

as hardly

doubt he me

he matt

old Turnip-to

am gone

you some in

you in a con

your sou

’ll stand no

e leers an

e handy wi

t’s pretty h

im on the

essly remar

you’re n

don’t behav

ng to anot

u’d best

right way to

like goi

me! It’s ge

ld Turnip-top

and he

I— Sad S

” I pondered.

have been

gentler f

and I sat

r so, lik

or Bones t

“In fact

orth his wh

Tibbs, I’d

such wor

is anythin

SSIBLE,

be over-pl

upon at hal

e’s snu

es plagues

nd all the

doing here

y there’l

ll have the

tears coul

ndly Pha

to me the

ther glass

lowing

OU GONE, BE

F FAMI

REWELL, MY D

REWELL, MY T

CHAUM AN

LIFE ARE D

S OF LIFE

MY CHARME

OR RATHER,

RALLEL

singing Ver

— abruptl

such a sp

t it would

it any

yawn I w

the welc

d dreamed til

eist and F

chaun and

’ve not be

kind of

they echo

g words, so

, good-night!”<