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ry
ashes, dus
ly audible over the relentless drumming
eeped through layers of wool and se
ve, my heels sinking into the mud t
utes of arriving at the cemetery, clung t
n't s
y wasn't able
oint of cold into a st
ny casket being lowere
ed too
e, a woman who filled every room sh
just a box in
ed the sky, shaking the
open, mirroring the fissure that had
ead slightly
beside me
ch of grass where my husban
e Kn
L supe
same priest three years ago, to cherish me in si
as the
as the
wasn'
my cousin Megan whispered from behind me
ly against my damp skin, bec
ity gets when it st
n't a
tly how New
ate driver who knew every shortcu
phone from
and bright against the
calls. N
ws alert notific
hovered
ok. I knew I s
reen filled with a
NHL Superstar Blake Knight Ho
ooftop that dripped with fai
f upbeat music and th
n the center of th
uit, the exact one I had pi
mpeccable.
wasn't
was clingin
ow in the back, her head thrown back in laughter,
eal-time: Knight & Hayes:
rl as Wife
se
wisting cramp in
h, a reminder of the s
y bag and wrapped both arms aro
silently to the lif
e, no
t fall ap
rvice
ring condolences that felt like
s darting to the empty space beside
murmured. "To be alone
ed to
es, pulling me down, mak
modest SUV and slammed the door,
hiverin
started in my hands and wo
th cha
Blake's
. Once.
eo is old. Tell me you're on you
icemail of Blake Knight.
d dialed Leo
on the second
breathless,
he, Leo?
y, unrecognizable
tammered. "It's a high-level crisis with the roster. He ca
und of the cal
welling beat of
g of champa
ched laughte
I repeated, dea
on is bad here in the co
ne wen
t just cut; i
that he wa
intelligence, so little of my grief, th
hand in mine, frail and pap
m dim your l
sun before
the rearvi
aring back w
my skull, eyes rimmed with r
ted th
penthouse was a blur of red tailligh
feel th
el the stee
kind of dissociation that protects
d the pe
entire top floor, decorated i
beaut
s fre
oes at the door and walk
rtment was heavy, pres
innocently next to a stack of arc
ll, robin'
fan
top
sn't for anoth
weeks ago, marked only by a t
s trembling, and pulled
ond ne
iece, delicate and
wasn't
ox was a card, the
led i
p, angular h
e the one you los
birthday
at the
the recessed lighti
his rumored ex-gir
bought
it was le
ead washe
eless cruelty; he was too calcul
deliberate
e's w
ered to life-it was set on a tim
ith the hotel rooft
out candles on a massive c
nd her, leaning in close to w
retty, pink flush r
was sm
n't s
ed out of my throat
e console table-a wedding gift from hi
t the wall, shards explodi
enthouse, a violent punctuation
ed onto t
f me as quickly as it had co
all, pulling my k
t to my sto
kness. "I can't let you grow up in this co
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