Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom

. We worked all night erecting a scaffolding around the facade, though no real work wou

n was being taken down for a full-blown rehab. We didn't exchange any unnecessary words, standing side by side without ever looking into one another's eyes. I couldn't really feel awkward aro

ing about scheduled maintenance at the HM? I just buzzed by on the way to the new H of P's and it looks like some big stuff's afoot-scaffoldi

ho's the author, an

ht, and she's on the list. Good Whuffie,

her,"

In time, Suneep and his gang would have a batch of telepresence robots up and running, and we'd move to them, get them wandering the queue area, interacting with curious guests. The new Mansion would be open for bu

retty s

right person for the job: she seemed awfully enamored of the rehabs that Debra and her crew had performed. If I'd had

o the point. "We read your post about the Mansion's rehab. You're the first one to notice it,

e's a screamer,

t a dozen times that morning, and there was no end in sight. I couldn't seem to get lathered up about it, though, nor about anything e

, two cast members, male, in Mansion costumes.

a real 20 year old, in a hipster climate-control cowl that clung to and released her limbs, whic

wearing a designer face, rather one that had enough imperfections to be the

, fast and low but without jostling anyone. "

didn't brush against a single soul. When she reached us, she came up short and bounced a little. "Hi, I'm Kim!" she said, pumpi

aid, "what'

we've got a job for you

rd and her eyes shone.

bery sort of laugh, but underneath it was relief. "

said, and gave my

hing about Debra and her ad-hocs. Kim drank it all in greedily. She cocked her head at me as

ew Mansion scrapbook. I have one for every ride in

so much so that it hadn't occurred to me that the new castmembers we brought in would want

y started to grasp how important the Mansion was to the people w

said. "Let's show th

ring off her clothes in anticipation of getting into character. Sonya, a Liberty Square ad-hoc that we'd sta

stitute onto the wall, scraping it off and moving to a new spot. It looked borin

awling the Net for

astmembers around the scaffolding, pushing black wheelbarrows, si

dermal under my costume itched. Despite the happy-juice in my bloodstream, a stre

t the utilidor, he whispered in my ear,

the exterior, and had promised a prototype for that afternoon. The robots were easy enough-just off-the-shelf stuff, really-but the costumes and kinematics routines we

d tight argumentative knots in the corners as they shouted over whatever their HUDs were displaying. In the middle of

hrew them wide enough to embrace the whole mad, gibbering ch

eed. "How's the

something else, a kinematics routine for a class of flying spooks that use gasbags to stay aloft-silent and scary. It's old spy-

," I reminde

and handed it to me. A flock of spooks danced on the screen, rendered against the ballroom scene. They were thematically consistent with the existing

id, rubbing his hands togeth

orrow night, Suneep. We discussed this, remember?" Without telepresence robots, my recruiti

like to stop my people when they have good ideas, but there's a t

. Lil. Of course. She was raccoon-eyed with fatigue, and sh

said, with stu

r-the flying ghosts, I imagined. Lil's eyes rolled

down the glass in the Ballroom now." The Ballroom ghost effects were accomplished by means of a giant pane of polished glass that laterally bisected the room.

descended on us, the roar of the

hausted," Dan s

at the same moment that

d my shoulders and squeezed. He smelled of an exotic cock

ve each other a massage," he s

t from under Suneep's arm and thanked him quietly, then slunk o

ok a surface route, costume rolled in a shoulderbag, instead of rid

sakes, and a lifetime of conditioning told me that it was May. I stopped and leaned on a bench for a moment and closed my eyes. Unbidden, and with the clarit

back and back. I did a quick sum in my head and sucked air between my teeth: they had enough people for five or six full houses waiting here-easily an h

of the gate, and were groaning their way through "Grim Grinning Ghosts," with a new call-and-r

eren't kindly. Totally obsessive fans are a good measure of a ride's popularity, but they're kind of a pain in the ass, too. They lipsynch the soundtrack, cadge so

o working on it, and were now forced to endure the company of these grandstanding megafans. If I'd been there when it a

and went back onstage. I joined the call-and-response enthusiastically, walki

a group of ad-hocs were ready to take their place,

ive production units. Though he didn't say it, I got the sense that his guys were out of control, so excited by the freedom

hab from a terminal I'd had installed in my hotel room. Kim and her local colleagues were fielding millions of hits ever

re doing their own recruiting, extending invitations to their net-pals to come on down to

invisible words across the middle distance. No doubt she was penning yet another breathless missive ab

ger, then, a moment late

s!" she sa

civvies, we'll take a walk

been quite firm about her turning it in to the

e utilidor to the Fantasyland exit and walked through the late-afternoon rush of c

liking it he

ly! A dream come true. I'm meeting so many interesting people, and I'm rea

ds are up to here. You're working hard, putting on a g

umber of action vids those days and she was suddenly standing in front

re is, I'd rather we just talked ab

hand off my shoulder.

e said. "What'

der she was so volatile

discuss with you. The people you-all have been bringing

ut

e open the new Mansion, there's a limited number of extras we can use out front. I'm concerned that we're going to put someone on stage without proper training, o

, over at the Hall of Presidents, and she says she can pick up any people who can't be used

first place. She'd take in the people who came down to work the Mansion, convince them they'd been hard done by the Liberty Squ

id, carefully. "I'm sure we can find a use f

ht me back to reality, and I started planning costume production, tr

mean, 'no'?"

let us bring more in. They also won't stop working on the rehab to train them, costume them, feed them and mother them. They're losing Whuffie ev

by side on the porch of the house where I'd lived. I'd driven out that night to convince Lil to sell the ad-h

do I te

brought her in-you manage her. Take some go

ave me an apologetic look. Lil glared a

est thing ever. Flash-baking is taking off in nightclubs, dance m

fucked up, Dan. I

ing, and that was t

maybe a problem I could solve. I pulled a screeching U-turn and drove the little runabout to her

ion audible through the screen door. I jogged up the steps two at a time

players to liven up the queue area, but you're making a lot of sense. You people have just been doi

y. The anger and fear suffused me from tip to toe, and I fel

own the steps and g

learn. I'm one o

through the cast entrance using the ID card I'd scored when my systems we

nk through the shadows along the storefronts until I came to the moat around Cinderella's castle. Keeping low, I stepped o

whenever I heard maintenance crews passing in the distance, until I reached

duced a short wrecking bar from my c

d up a sweat smashing them, but I kept at it until not a single component remained recognizable. The work was slow and loud in the silent Park, but it lulled me

kered with the animatronics helped me. I methodically investigated every nook, cranny and storage area until I loca

it might be a prototype for the next generation or notes

g offsite that she could get up and running in a few days. I wasn

being spotted, and sloshed my way into my

me in weeks, I s

trail a mile wide, from the muddy footprints in the Contemporary's lobby to the wrecking bar thoughtlessl

g Ghosts" as I made my way from Costuming, through the utilid

ebra. Debra was holding my cowl and wr

t morning, and so the emotion I fel

ra

t the Adventureland gate where I'd waded through the moat, down Main Street. I ran and ran, elb

and all my problems. I'd thought wrong. They were both there, a step behind me, puf

hat?" she said. I think if we'd bee

eone else plays rough,

right, you are an idiot. The ad-hoc's m

ligerent. "You going to hon

ut the future, Julius, w

y killed me! They did it, and now we're fighting each ot

etly and intensely, almost hissing. "I don't know who killed yo

y as the three costumed castmembers shouted at each other. I could feel my Whuffie hemorrhaging. "Debra, you are purely full

aid, her face hard, her rage b

d. I saw a dozen opportunities to slip into a gap in the human ebb and flow and escape custody,

the meeting room. Lil turned. "I don't think you s

ep me out, you know. And you should

I think it decided Lil.

ty Belle would be sitting at her dock. Even the restaurant crews were there. Liberty Square must've been a ghost town. It gave the meeting a sense of urgency: t

ting in the front row, looked angry. I nearly started crying right then. Dan-oh, Dan. My pal, my confidant

ind her ears. "All right, then," she said. I s

o. I'll run down the facts: last night, a member of this ad-hoc vandalized the Hall of Presidents, r

able. This has never happened before, and it wil

e Mansion until the Hall of Presidents is fully operati

eek. "Disney World isn't a competition," Lil said. "All the different ad-hocs work toget

like to say something," I said

s fine, Julius. Any member

and I don't have any excuse for having done it. It may not have been the smartest

tion in the Park, and that the hardest players are the crew that rehabbed the Hall of Presidents. They stole the Hall from you! They did it while you wer

land-all of it. All the history we have with this place-all the history that the billions who've visited it have-it's going to be destroyed and replaced with the sterile, thoughtless shit that's taken over the Hall. Once that happen

not a member of this group, but since it was my work that was destroyed last night, I think I

sponsible for what happened last night. We know who was respons

ce, and it couldn't exist without all of our contributions. What happened to Julius was terrible, and I sincerely hope t

and we'll take you up on it. That goes for all of you-come on by

o take over the operations of the Mansion. It is a terrific attraction, and it's getting better with the work

me out. I've got to

a chorus of applaus

ou all a favor, first. I'd like us to keep the details of last night's incident to ourselves. Letting th

on the HUDs, then Lil gave them a million-dollar smile. "I

. Lil had made it very clear to me after the meeting that I wasn't to sh

it seemed to revolve around the new recruits. One of them had told thei

lifying me, and I expected more. I need

whole business and leaving Walt Disney World to sta

first time Dan and I had palled around, back at the U of T, I'd been the cent

aterial to entertain myself. While I couldn't get a table in a restaurant, I was free to queue up at any of the makers around town and get myself whatev

er of low-esteem individuals at large was significant, and they got along jus

e. He'd stand me to meals at sidewalk cafes and concerts at the SkyDome, and shoot down any snotty reputation-punk who sneered at my Whuffie tally. Being w

in the world, started over. I could have turned m

idn

ed up