All In

close and I finally

ke right now hair escaping its knot, cheeks flushed, eyes too bright, one hand

u you're going

faintly of chlorine and exhaust and other people's luck. I replay it on the bus, sitting in the back with my purse hugged t

He sai

it. Not like a line. Not like a rich man dangling a pretty lie in front of the help. He said it lik

rstand and definitely don't want to. A man who looked at me across a casino

truly in

thumb on my cheekbone and his lips at my jaw, some

off the bus

dew of a building older than me. The door lock sticks. The window unit rattles. Cannoli my cat is curled on th

he concern,"

y skin stings and it doesn't help. I make tea I don't drink. I lie in bed with the co

eyes, he's there. Dark eyes, certain eyes

at. For seeing straight th

n my hand, staring at the screen like it might bite me. There's one thing I have to do before

the c

sis Center, t

s account. I-I know we're behind and I wanted to talk about a payment plan. Again. I

way it does when she's about to de

rops. Call m

note here six months paid in advance, plus the coll

tchen

oing to-I mean, I have the money for part of it, but not-not all

ds genuinely happy for me. An anonymous donor. Wired it throu

there in the gray dawn light with my

scare Cannoli off the couch. Because I know exactly who the anonymous donor is

owers and expect to be thanked. Rich men make you feel the weight of

d I didn't owe hi

some broken part of m

rings.

word that she's been crying too. The clinic called. They said-

s the Bellissimo and thinks I'm going to be his wife b

like ash. But I'll find out. Just

cks. Bianca, they said someone wants to pay for a

I can't see. Th

through exhaustion and Vincent Calder's hands on my arm. And in one night, this stranger t

h

th. But before I can work up the nerve, my phone

ight. You're off the schedule until fur

inute and something cold a

re

ired

ls and looked at me like I hung the moon

wn, because his number is in my phone of course his number is in my

low and warm and absolutely unsurprised, like he's been

"You paid my mother's bills and then you fired me.

e been working yourself into an early grave

get to d

ear the smile in it. But I'm not a

't wan

ept in pastries, which I'm told I'm very good at sourcing." Anoth

one so hard my knuc

l. Letting me take care of you and your family. It's the most

head like he can see me. You're insane. This is insan

d give the rest of yourself to everyone else. I know you've been carrying a weight that would've crushed most peop

g up

kitchen at five-thirty in the morning, my cat is judging me and my mother might

one b

e: M

mething. I'll

ces off Cannoli, who yowls and glares

bbing at my face. Your

is tail and turn

dawn is climbing over the desert, and I can feel it coming the thing I've been running from my

nd refuse to leave. The truth