Five Nights
like a past dream in the background of my memory. But still how clear the dream, how bright each moment of it, and how long to my retrospective vision! Was it possible I had only
ck upon it, it appears short as a day; while a week in which we have travelled far, seen several cities and been glad in each, t
the picture seemed to gather round, and centre in a sweet youthful face with the blue stone earrings, hanging against th
orning, too, and felt I needed rest and quiet thought. How the red flame leapt in the grate, and what a rich, warm, wine-dark colour it threw all round my red room! I rose and drew the heavy crimson curtains across the windows to shut out
ny colour shows off white flesh to better advantage, though pale blue in this matter runs it close; but this was not the prompting motive. Rather it was that i
numerous white unused sheets of paper near it. I felt in despair. Not even a sket
corresponds to the perfect ideal in one's brain, the constant raising of hope and ensuing disappointment as a misshapen foot or crooked knee destroys the effect of neck
nd quiet of it had crept over me and into me, gradually soothing away all vexations, when a
glad to f
sound of the soft voice, a
w her into the firelight which sparkled gratefully on her tall
g all the afternoon and as I was driving past I t
said as I wheeled anothe
You have noth
electric lights and switching them on; "and if I
ugh! What a contrast to the rough gi
are not going to turn me out, for I am chilly and tired and want my tea and a talk
oured, falling through tinted globes, and soft as the firelight. She looked exqui
ed fur and which fitted her lovely figure cl
gloomy day," I said. "I have had a horrid m
Phryne?" she answered, glancing round; "ot
inspiration, they would kill any one had. All last week I was trying to find
for Viola was my cousin and no one else knew or understood me so well as she did.
n. The tall, graceful ones are too thin, I want those subtle, gracious lines, but I don't want sharp bones and corners. I
d at me, and our gaze got locked together. A thought had sprung suddenly between us. I realised all at once I was descri
paralysed me and took speech from my lips. Just in that moment the door opened and tea was brought in. I turned my attention immediately to making it, and what with asking her how much sugar she would have and pressing her to take hot toast and crumpets, the cloud of embarrassment passed and all was light and easy again. I dismissed th
saw her heart must be beating fast, for
ould let me be your m
ning stream across her face, forcing the tears to her eyes.
rds towards her. My own heart seeme
nk of such a thing! It is
looking away from me. I saw the tears well up ove
she murmured in a low tone, "and I thi
cate white hand that hung over the arm in mine and pressed i
have offered it, never cea
an honour to be made part of your work, to live for ever in it, or at least much longer than in mortal life.
rom that in which it would present itself to most women. But, then, the outlook of an artist upon life and all the things in life is entirely different from that of the ordinary person. It takes in the wi
Our temperaments were alike though our gifts were different, and we served the
s, to me, simple enough,
d not a
rned u
she sai
because it is too
is no sacrifice.
ure you if it
not becom
ng become
ouldn't car
It might stand in the way of y
wn cousin. Why, Trevor, we are part of each other, as it were. I am like your own sister. What can it matter? While you are painting me I shall be nothing, the picture will be everything. I am no more t
istry, dearest,
ver," she said softly, "at least if you
h the eye or divined. The throat was long, round, and full, the fall of the shoulder and the way its lines melted into the curves of the breast had the very intoxication of beauty in them, the wai
use it so little. To let it be of service to you, to give you just what you want, to create a great picture
d. I said
"nor shall I persuade you any more. I leave it entirely in your hands.
delicate beauty hard to define. The beauty o
nd kissed her bri
nk it of you! And I could never find a lovelier model; you know it is not tha
ith a laugh in her love
picked up a fur necklet from h
she said softl
and all the atmosphere about me! It seemed as if she had filled it with electricity. My pulses were all beating hard. The quiet of the studio was intolerable
erally had a red and gold Japanese screen. I went in and switched on th
n was the greater because she was so absol
thing there was practically no one else to be consult
ht, she had been brought up by an old aunt who simply worshipped her and
severe as a boy's, and Viola knew her Greek and Latin and mathematics better than I knew mine, thou
e was really one of the children of the gods, as she put it,
ntrol those who in reality are so much greater than we are. I leave Viola to judge for herself about life, I always h
aining had given her an intelligence and d
nor mixed much with other girls of her own age, she was free from all those small, petty habits
ce also would, of course, be quite impossible, but I had m
rce of its perfect and triumphant beauty, swept away the reason of all that circle of grey-bearded hostile judges called upon to condemn it, had carved for itself a pla
l through me. I knew, and told myself so, every half second, that Viola's temptation was one I ought to and must resist, and yet the idea of yielding filled me with a wild instinctive delight that no reason could suppress. Yes, because once an artist has seen or conceived by his own imagination his perfect ideal, nothing els
stinctive, peculiar, arresting. I was not a painter of types, but of exceptions. The common things of life are not interesting, nor do I think they are worth
ty: an active anxiety to accept another sitter and withstand the temptation of Viola, which fought desperately with the more passive anxie
ught! Those last hours before an artist gives the first concrete form to the brain children of his intangible dreams, how full of a double life he seems! I was back from lunch and in the studio early; I could no
scard the drapery as she liked. I should not attempt to pose her; I would not even direct her; I should simply watch her, and at some moment during the unveiling she would fall naturally into just the pose-some po
no fear of seeming to copy Leighton. What true artist ever fears he may be considered a copyis
ready the Phryne of Athens for me, but when suddenly a light knock came on the door outside my heart seemed to stand still and I could hardly find voice to say, "C
evor," she added, gazing at me closely, "you are looking a
ccept your offer, but the temptation is too great. If you feel the same
nswered earnestly. "You can't think how
, holding her two hands and looking down in
raperies, and then, standing on the dai
ry, and, if I don't do it rightly, you
o me and asked for the dress. I gave it to her and showed he
, gathering up all the thin drapery, walked
to think of the right or wrong of my action. I was too absorbed
o the platform at once. I had withdrawn to a chair as far from it as was practicable, divining that the nearer I was the more my presence would weigh upon her.
e Phryne, and I was nothing but
tion she unclasped the belt, and then taking the sides of it, one in each hand, with its enclosed drapery, which parted easily in the centre, she made a half step forwards to free herself from it, and stood revealed from head to foot. It was the moment. Her head thrown up, with her eyes fixed far above me, her throat and the perfect breast thrown outwards and forwards, the slight bend at the slim waist accentuating the round curves
shock of hearing my voice; then stood rigid. I
as a marvellous whiteness: there seemed no brown, red, or yellow shades upon it; nor any of that mottled soap ap
hat lifts the artist to the feet of heaven. There is no happiness like
knew nothing, but that the glorious image was growing, taking life under my hand. I was in a w
nce it seemed, a little cry
, I mus
opped the pap
ture. I picked it up and gazed on it with rapture-how perfect it was! The best thing of a lifetime! Viola seemed so long behind the screen I grew anxious and walked over to it. As I came round it, she was just drawing on her bodice, her arms and neck were still bare. She motioned me back imperatively, and I saw the colour stream across her face. I retreated. It was absurd in a way, that blu
and came towards the fire shivering. I drew her into my arms, strained her ag
for me what no one else could. I can
ound my neck, and
e said softly. "You are so beautiful and so nice about
otten you were standing so long.
I got so cramped. I couldn't keep my limbs still any lon
I said remorsefully, "and so long. It
l in one position every day all this las
felt burning with a sense of elation, of delighted triumph. The picture was there. It glimmered a white patch agains
ings, she did so simply, grandly, in a way that suited the greatness of her nature. There was no mincing modesty, no self-conscious affectation. The agony of confusion that
low chair and sat
believe existed-an absolutely perfect body without a fault or flaw anywh
appy look came into her ey
our expectations?" she murmured. I lifted
to the dark blue eyes above me with my own burning wit
like to see it,
and set it so that we both could see it tog
I asked suddenly
idealised
vine," I replied quietly. She looked at me, her fa
You have drawn it magnificently. What life y
and looked
put on her hat and cloak. When I had fastened the l
pect you
to go, so I must; but I need not stay long. I can leave at three and be here at h
t is a br
ions. I shan't, if I am coming here, but I h
r hands and
your amusements, your time
a la
ns and teas! As long as I have time for
ing the fire; her large soft, fearle
ards towards h
thank you or express a hund
er softest smile and a warm
d lightly. "My reward is great enough,
nt out, and
*
re grew rapidly, I was absorbed in it, lived for it, and had that strange peace and glow
s and the picture. Our tea together afterwards, when we discussed the progress made and the colour effects, was a delight. But the moment the door was closed after her, when she had left me, a blank
wn a little and drew up my great comfortable couch, like a Turkish divan, to the fire.
med and let her eyes close
lear fairness and transparency, and the beautiful expressive
her trust in me, the knowledge of herself and her beauty she had allowed me gave birth s
eyes, but raised her arms and put them round my neck, pressing me to her. In a joyous wa
as I would let her, "I am afraid
you, I want for my own. You must marry
e replied in very soft tones, but s
y n
: it prevents their devel
ight of the contact with her, of knowing her in my ar
y women have
nswered. "I have been w
have ever loved
ttle girl in the t
ved her. I wanted h
just the sa
ite different. Do not
e and tell me
leant over me, kissing me on the eyes and lip
u would love me. You would not want to be unfaithful to me. But fidelity to one person is madness an imp
tenderness of a moment back seemed gone, her words had
't care about anything. You shall
you were fifty-eight I w
again and put my hands up to her soft-haired head to pull i
are mad. Le
ree to get up. She sat up on
said angrily. The nervous excitement of the moment was so great; ther
ears welled into her
hall come, must come every day if you want it till
r little hand
h stupid things. Of course you will marry me; why, we are h
he table up to the fire, which I
of the couch in silenc
of tea and came and sat beside her while she drank it. Then I put my arm round her waist and got her
that lay cold and nerveless
two people could love each other more than we do. It would be absurd of us not to marry." I kissed her, and she accepted my caresses a
ne of the sketches I had first
oments how strong this passion was that had grown up, as it were, u
me! I felt that I could worship her, literally. That
loss, if she ever gave herself to another, would be unendurable. If that happened I should le
out of shape, twisted, or crooked, this same passion would cease to be. The love and affection and esteem I had for her would remain, but
e, for had they enclosed a stupid or commonplace mind they would h
from within a form of outward beauty, and only t
wn yet its equal. She loved me, too, that great fact was like a chord of triumphant music ringing through my hear
o think of anything but her, and all through the night I tossed about, restless and sl
ntinue. She must and should marry me. It was only for me she h
om seemed swimming round me, and the faultless, dazzling figure before me seemed receding into a darkening mist. I flung away my brush and rose
la's voice, sharp with anxiety, across the
head down on the mantelpiece. "Go
the dais. I did not turn, but sank into the ar
passed before my e
er come over to me. I looked
, Trevor! I
hat's all," I said constrainedly, t
could go out and get some dinner, if you have, a
e. I should like to stay
of her hands between my own
have you for my own, till we are m
Her face had crimsoned violently,
one. I can't work on it any more. It can't be he
glance of dismay at the only ha
ered dinner and were seated before it at the restaurant table we found we
t you wouldn't finish the picture
of the eyes, the bright curls of her hair in the glow of the elect
got to a point where I must g
adful to leave
t's have some champagne. Perhap
e, and the wine had
hansom to the theatre. As we sat close, side by side, i
ming back to the studio with me after the theatre I s
o quiver in silence, and looked
ves of light and colour. I was lost in wondering where I had better go to get fresh inspiration, to escape from the picture, from Viola, from myself. Awa
ibule at th
ve supper somewhere with me,
off, to delay that frightful wrench that seems to tear out the insi
to the studio with you
ating violently. Her face was very pa
ugh the throng an
nsom. I could hardly breathe: my heart seemed stifling me. What w
houghts went round
per and to go to the studio
I want any supp
at flame leapt through
beside her, full of that delight that touches in its intensity upon