sleep t
h Darius over and over in my head. The way he moved. The way he
let me. I knew that now. He'd let me score. He'd
he'd wa
de what you're w
supposed to give up? My talent? My
hampionships. Me, younger, faster, hungrier. I watched myself destroy opponents. I watc
ook away.
, I made
early for anyone to be here. Too early for coaches or students
s was alr
, writing something. He didn't look up when I walked in. He
ere,"
n see
t to l
dn't look u
es
hy
ne had ever asked me why I wanted to fence. They'd
nt to be the
not a
s my r
, unreadable. He studied me for a long m
low
with old gear. Masks hanging on hooks. Foils stacked in racks. A
your shoes
ha
es. And your socks
d at hi
re not going
ng in his expression stopped me. So I took off my shoes. My socks. M
d, "you're go
k wh
m this wall to that
. "You're
ver j
I came here to fe
g is not about your hands. It's not about your speed. It's not about your power. It's ab
st fencer i
est. That's not
anted to prove him wrong. But I remembered what had happened last time I los
k a b
said. "O
as harder tha
tally, it was torture. Back and forth. Back and for
ng. He didn't offer encouragement or criticism. He just
ess. This was a waste of time. I could be fencing. I cou
kept w
the hour, Da
id. "Tomorrow
t's
t's
did I
expression softened. Just a fract
omething without winning," he
day, I wa
er that. And th
No foils. No strips. Just walki
almost nothing. And every day, I felt somethin
day, I asked
id you
oked at me with those dark eyes. Then h
oes tha
sport. I stopped loving anything. I became a machine. A weapon
lly. But something in his v
ened to yo
. Then he said, "I'll tell you
y, a girl walke
t made her look smarter than everyone else in the room. She was carrying
e new kid,
I've been he
ch Miller is losing his mind." She walked toward me, her eyes scanning m
who yo
an eyebro
mentio
s, watching us with his usual expressionless face. Som
ack to me, "are you going
train
n't the same
close
h something. "You were at Westbrook. State champion your sophomore year. Runner-up last
his wrist. It
what the r
ighten. "The re
. Analytical. She wasn't judging me. She
at I think. It matters what the team thinks.
't even
recedes you." She tucked her tablet under her arm. "If you want to be part o
want to be par
o be very lonely for
watched her go, my chest tight
home and found my
he looked tired. She always looked tired. But there was something
to talk,"
ross from her
g to the gym every morning before class. They s
ust tra
ing fo
ated. "
s were shaking. Just slightly.
ere done with fe
ught s
chan
ghost in a gym. A text in the middle of the nig
I said. "Someone
stand
M
e reached across the table and took my hand
he said. "You k
kno
ing through. I'm not going to pretend I know what's b
ha
come the only thing that matters. Because if it does, you're
r hair that hadn't been there a year ago. She'd sacrificed everything for m
mise,"
know if I
ed into the gym and foun
asn't watching from the corner. He was s
e said, "y
r in my chest. Exciteme
he lesson
on. Just
oil, and stepped onto the strip. Dari
rde,"
sed m
en I a
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