The Brother of Daphne

," said Daphne, leaning ba

ing my legs and

ndeed," I s

r nodded

g. In your white throa

you know if the

Daphne. "But I didn't li

not mine. The appointmen

id Daphne, with

fete

A

sion, to wit the Banana. I prefer to put it that way. There is a certain smack about the wording of an indictment. Almost a relish. The fact that two years before I had been let in for a s

rsday-so much I knew. But no more. There was the rub

sly, "the fete's on-er-Wedn

g up to Town?" said Dap

l right," I said, l

ssionary the other

"To any nation the consumptio

o make six

next meal? How much d

uls alive," said

ing's to be save

retired to fetch the second instalment of accessories, I pointed

d from a bazaar," I

the garden,"

" said I. "Its silly s

ne indignantly. "It

severely. "It's months sinc

kettle

t, neither d

reverence you will do

iedly, "if it were not impe

mething on Thur

together, scolded together, dandled in the same arms. If she had not

in. Berry ope

sta upon a summer a

er laugh. "What's he

, of course,"

be, and playing golf all day, is not incompatible with taking a stall on Thu

"golf! Why don

said Berry

e man!" s

aid her

ou

of subscribing to this charitable imposition. Humble as would have been my poor assistance, it would have been rendered with a will

said I. "Surely

t Ascot, w

d customs which they affect are of a quite peculiar interest. Let us look, brother, for a moment, at their clothin

e tricks," said Daphne, throwi

e very thing. I've alway

it," sai

e confidence trick? Can any lady

id Berry. "Riding backwards on one wh

nd smoked a cigarette, I wouldn't have minded tr

you might have thrown knives round me af

s I intimated that I woul

"I will appear and run round gene

d, and I'm not going to let you break my wo

pera

e's Jill calling me. We're going to run over to Barley to

even care

getting up. "Give me a cigarette and tell me if you

rette-case, "if you were half a

aid, taking a cigarett

retreating f

to recite 'W

ht, I lay awake thinking deeply about what I was to do on the morrow. Daphne had proved inexorable. My brain, usually so fertile, had become barren, and for my three days' contemplation of the subject I had absolutely nothin

. And as further sleep seemed out of the questio

far from being momentarily disconcerted. For a second it occurred to me that I might be dreaming, but, though I listened ca

tangular booth, gaudy and wide-mouthed, with which, until a few years ago, the streets of London were so familiar. Were! Dear old Punch and Judy, how quickly you are becoming a thing of the past! How soon you will have gone the way of Jack-i'-the Green, Pepper's Ghost, the Mayp

ut there was no one in sight. I had been feeling hungry, for it was seven o'clock; but this was better than breakfast, and I returned to the bank. The l

said a

?" sa

ice it was: coming f

er surprised,"

rprised. Only a little staggered

e you do

k, booth, I

aiting

t, let us wait, ye shall have

you wait

ments. A

reakf

I don't see it coming," I said a

happen to have

in my p

it on the piano. I got up rather hurried

er m

hat, booth, I'll

Don't you bother; it'll

This isn't 'T

s all rig

another pa

getting back to brea

don't run up against bo

des w

h, I'm awfu

you want

e very

say I'd

at. In a word

A

nce for a few mo

slowly, "suppose a

b

b

ing! G

sn't tha

ing l

k much of you

en. "A prophet is not wi

your own

t

you'd be t

id. "Refuse

o mysteriously as 'they'-had fastened greedily upon her words, and, waving aside her objection that she had no paraphernalia, deliberately proceeded to provide the same, that she might have no excuse. The booth was run up, the puppets procured. The gentle hint that she wanted to withdraw had been let fall at the exact moment with

ff," she said. "I very nearly did, too, when it came to it. Only

w that you've g

d. Then: "But

he

tting th

ke me on. I've been out of work for years. Besides, you've b

id. What do

aid, "I am perf

wha

hall be a zealot. We will unite our ze

d," she said.

re seems to be a sort of understanding that we should keep them in missionaries. So every now and then the 'worker' push here get up a fete thing and take money off people. Then they find one and send h

w w

fete and simply rake it in. It's a splendid way of winning you

ng performances about the village," sh

llow who isn't getting

ent. He'd be o

d be th

e road and blinked curiously at the booth

d. "You don't know the Bananas;

body here. But it would be an impossible position for m

el

y as to who we were and what w

s both be

u be strang

put away a Pierrot dress not one of them knows any

e look up. Framed in its mouth, her arms fo

hat sat jauntily over one ear. A straight, white nose, and a delicate chin, red lips parted and smiling a little, such a smile as g

her a l

to be a big thing," I sai

ven said I'l

eas

recognized, and t

sary, I'll wear a false nos

's my

eheld a small boy ap

t you could do in

m not over-confident a

s better than a

re I ho

ppear a moment later in the road: and by her side a beauti

lady, pointing a fin

and drawn on a long dust-coat, which reached almost to her ankles. She held it close about her, as she walked. It showed off her sl

e up, she took the jug

of it," she said, raising i

. Why not?

sita

ha

I mean, won't the m

it won't get in the way. Thanks all the s

n the w

my

she drank, and when she took the

h, a heavy bribe, coupled with the assurance that we should be at the

e took couns

od. It was early yet, but some people would be passing along the road, and we were not yet ready to combat the curiosity that the appearanc

k strike the half-hour. Half-past seven. I gained the house unobserved. No on

t dress two years ago

crown to the pumps upon my feet. It took some time to find the nose, but luck was with me, and at last I ran it to earth in an old collar-box. Tr

ess night, my nerve had forsaken me, and that, unable to face the terror of the bazaar, I had fled to Town, and s

ket, the mask into another. Then I went cautiously downstairs and i

pocket with the nose. To add half a brown loaf to the mask and drain the milk jug was the work of another moment, and, after laying the note on Daphne's plat

egs to and fro. When I took off my coat

ou see the n

laughed so immoderately that her brown hair broke loose from un

e said. "See wh

the nose

ut it took me ages to get it all u

you. You see," I went on earnestly, "ever

dust coat and revealed the wide

ed. "But what I reall

edly at her little

the dust from the

What shall I do a

it it for you. It'll be worth an

like that-" s

o, J

by motives which were entirely disi

sarily in my work, and making pretence to comb with m

a long ti

here wa

unplaited about two inches, which seemed to satisfy her. For me

hat is i

t the

go

, Ju

did a little listening. W

e ham," I

am! Do you he

you bothe

ore

about a mas

k my hair,"

astily, "not that!

omi

romi

s with a piece of ribbon which she produced, kis

id not begin till two. But we agreed

know about yo

collection of dome

to beat me

tongue, Judy. I can hear

closed again she had slipped something between them. The next in

, J

she said i

ush-you'll wak

y ought to be up

ok my

The day is noisy enough, but at night, what with dogs bay

owls d

leer, they have a rotten time. Poor ec

hey ever

vy sleepers. In fact, it's hopeless to

wel

early always hear him. And if they don't

e she laughed hel

e you. Seriously," she add

by us to

ated at having missed clown, misses sausages, and exit in high dudgeon. Re-enter Judy, followed by sausaged clown, who comforts her. (Oh, Judy!) Re-enter Punch. Justifiable tussle. Punch sees sausages and begins to find his length. Clown sees stars and exit. Punch knocks out Judy with a left hook. To him, gloating, enter constable. It seems Judy's knock-out more serious than usual. Constable suggests that Punch shall go quietly. Punch does not see it,

But where does T

errier rose and went to her. His

fing (nautical). I don't think he'd bet

Now open the

ey fitted easily on to the hand, the forefinger controlling the head, and

k to Punch and Punch alone. For t

he absence of cutlery, it was a ragged meal, but what mattered th

ance, and cars sang past on the long, white road. P

out of the question, I laid an eloquent hand upon her arm and crowded as much expression as I could into a swollen and distorted visage. She glanced at me and collapsed in silent infectious laugh

perfect and ready for anything. So we laid the puppets by, fed Toby with

d quickly enou

my mask and slid my nose into position, I got the bo

," I said e

h, there's som

h I hadn't packe

rvous,

d be in the picture right enough, but I rather want two hands for this in

t-ag

was in l

highway, the faithful Toby a short pace behind

ith the puppet-box under her arm. The occupants of the vehicle began to evince great curiosity as we drew

nemies!" she said wi

e. We're bound to excite interest. It's what we're for an

ed, and I held it re

up,

ared at us, apparently rooted to the spot, and as if they could not believe their good fortune. Then one broke into an explosive bellow of delight, while the other ran off squeaking with excitement to find other devils who should share the treasure-trove. But, unlike his infamous predecessor, he was not content with seven. When he returned, it was but as the van of a fast-swelling rabble. His erstwhil

men and boys, the matron and the maid, alike came running. Altogether, Lynn Hammer was set throbbing with an exc

discussed. Many were the questions raised, and many the inaccurate explanations accepted as to the reason of our being; but though my companion came in for some inevitab

ing pressure to my encouraging squeeze told me that she was trying to buck up as well as she could. Good lit

eate great confusion in the swarming ranks that followed in our wake. But while they sorted themselves, I slipped the booth off m

-I selected a fat, red-faced drayman, thanked him, and said that mine was a Bass, an assertion which

facetious resume of recent local events. This, of course, came to me easily enough, but the crowd only saw therein the lucky ventures of a talkative stranger, and roared with merriment at each happy allusion. And so I ca

Judy and old ale for myself, slapped silver into his hand, and b

to my proboscis-for a small tin pail, I prepared to get my burden once more upon my back. But this was not to be. Four good fellows

' scented money in our admission, and, with an eye to the Bananas' main chance, made us quickly welcome. On my explaining our intention to

se who had formed our kindly escort, from following us into the fete,

aid and did on that sunny af

it was afterwards, when Judy sat smiling in the mouth of the bo

had already contributed, I repeated "Oh, madam!" reproachfully and crescendo till the hush-money was paid, while in front of those who affected not to see my out-stretched hand, I stood as if rooted to the spot. I borrowed

e that astonished myself, but apparently to

et, I lifted Judy to the rickety shelf, so that her head and shoulders were

f these

ake every call," she said, loo

dy, I have

ha

ft you up e

ghed pl

h, you're eas

?" I said gently

t away. "You are and will be

s to run no unnecessary risk, I avoided her when possible, and when I did find my

rother?" I hear

him, and the way he took it, anyone would have thought he was an escaped convict. Guilty conscience, I suppose. One hears a good deal about record flights nowadays, but I'd back my miser

on my nose and

of the fete," she said h

adam," said I, in

B

ended, madam," and I sho

, so Daphne parted up with a forced smile, and

w Berry. Unanxious to tempt Providence, I retired precipitately to the shelter of the booth.

or the next s

quarter o

feet and removed

suaded your hand

touch

me

esn't

me

carefully, I turned my atte

indicated by the dimple situate below Sat

t I tightened my hold and pro

so we come to the life-belt. This-my word, this is all right! Unrivalled for resistance to damp and wear, will last three to six times as

rt by so determined an attempt at

to be begin

eager for t

but I want t

, J

r hand on m

idn't mean that. It

t of you t

't you think I

ned f

months and years go by, when other cleverer, better men walk by your side, and glorious days crowd thick about you, thro

ead away, but sh

ot forget

slipped a hand under her

d. "No, of course, I shan't.

s. I groaned. The next moment she had wound a long call up

med to lack its wonted bitterness. Punch appeared

rl and stroked her

encouragingly.

seemed to remember, and flung he

was on, I had a

, "and put up Judy instead. We'll ha

ore his frightened eyes, then, backing, stood with outstretched, appealing little arms-a gesture at once so loving and pathetic that Punch was fain to thrust his sleeve before his eyes and turn his face in shame to the wall. Softly went Judy to him agai

ted with prol

said. "Hold

my left arm about her

brace, and with my freed right hand I slipped her mask o

d not to a

un

final of the animal race that was responsible for our overthrow. The black pig, blind with jealous rage and mortification at bei

dear?"

N

at the mouth of the booth. Maskless, noseless, I looked

softly. "I mig