The Abandoned Farmer

tions were concerned we might as well have been in the city, I had begun to apprec

lly I refreshed myself by sauntering to the field where he happened to be working, to have a little friendly conversation with him, and I never failed to let him know that new beauties were revealed to me day by day in[Pg 61] the agreement to pay him an extra hundred dollars for working his own land. At first he had showed signs of looking upon me with the contem

away with, and I had made an inflexible rule never to go within range of a horse's hind legs. And in the matter of confining my farm expenditure to the price of a spade, a rake and a hoe, I had been most loyal and consistent; I ha

r man in the side with his thumb and they were both doubled over with merriment. Of course, he hadn't intended me to hear, and I was quite aware that I was not a farmer, either regular or irregular, but it was this fact that made the remark so galling. There are two things I cannot bear: one is what Marion calls the truth, for that always turns out to be something odious and objectionable; the other[Pg 63] is ridicule. That morning my mind was filled with bitterness, for Abner Davis had

e introduced us that he meant mischief. "Griggs," he explained to me, "has got farm-on-the-brain. Carton," he explained to Griggs, "had such a severe a

g

d had spoken the truth in his case, for his farming mania was at its height, and he was overjoyed at finding a man who had done what he merely dreamed of doing. He was a produce commission merchant, he told me, and he was convinced that he could double his income and prolong hi

clined, for the simple reason, I said, that it was flawless; then I rose to make my escape.[Pg 65] Griggs adjured me to

pressing engagement, would have saved ninety or more. Had I not instinctively refrained fro

e by my surname, and I realized that I was in the clutches of the objectionable type of person who cla

ies of our rural life; besides, I shrink from intrusion with the same shyness that causes me to slink guiltily into a shop if I see a man approaching who is indebted to me. There was but one other alternative; I took it. I smiled my most frankly ingenuous smile; I beamed upon him with warm-hearted encouraging candor and-lied! Yes, lied with beggarly duplicity, and I kept on with Spartan fortitude; and so smooth is the grade on the broad and downward road that presently I was enjoying my own depravity

(It really was my farm, for I was paying mo

orking teams and a fast driver." (F

ven calves." (I was pretty sure of the

from three cows?"......"Oh, yes. Three p

en farming two months?"......"Yes, bu

sar-what luck! What did you pay for the farm

".....

g

st be well fixed?"

e it?"......"E

been in on the ground fl

y men do you keep

o pay him?"......"T

ad invented two sisters and two brothers, all invisible, to play with. A man's family should be screened fro

ind my way out of without ignominiously[Pg 69] crying for help. But before I was done with Griggs I recalled many things of which I had never seen the full significance before. One was a tract I had read in my youth entitled, "The First False Step." Another was a remark that Marion had on

o, old man!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. "I haven't been able to sleep since I saw you-c

retched arm-"keep well away! I'm-I'm in trouble. My boy-my b

g

d back. "Which

espairingly. "He broke out last nig

anded Griggs, mo

fever," I

ed out, from the other side of the door

seemed to stand off and listen. Griggs didn't wait to hear more.

th words in trying to make out that it is mostly right and only a little wrong. Had Marion developed artistic ability, I am sure it would have been in the line of black and white, while my talent would as surely have run to color. It is the moral in a fable that appeals most strongly to her; it is the fable itself that delights my imagination. A moral is all very well in its place-like a capstone to a tower,-but there it should stay. To detach it for the purpose of concrete personal application, I have explained to Marion, is an outrage on the properties of family lif

morning mail. He had learned at the office that I was spending my vac

is farm than he puts into it, she'll let me go ahead. So you're my man, Carton. I want you to give me the tip in regard to facts and figures, and if you have to dress them up a bit, like the Annual Report of a Loan and Investment

ther it would be worse for me to tell the truth to Griggs, or to Marion, or to both, or to risk the probability of Marion learning it from Griggs, or of the latter from my wife. I shrank from each solution in turn, and yet, worst of all, was the thought of being burdened any lon

then, but I knew Andy would. He did. I found him hoeing his corn, but he willingly left his work and sat down in a shady spot with me to listen to my tale. I did not attempt to excuse myself; in fact, I was rather more severe in my self-condemnation than I thought the circumstances warranted. I wanted sympathy and encouragement; I wanted to be assured that I wasn't as miserable a sinner as

g

e, and I permitted a sorrowful smile to steal over my face. "And as for my opinion of your conduct," he went on, "I believe you're jest a nateral-born play

hat out?" I asked, tryi

as that little boy of yourn when he makes believe he has all them brothers and sisters. You ain't got all the li

so that he had pointed out the way to disarm Marion's[Pg 76] criticism when the time came for me to confes

w to broach my plan, "having gone so far, I-I don't qui

half a mile wide, and it'd come nateral to me to cut through there in a bee line, but if you was to try, the chances i

ted. "If I could o

ement, "I'm prepared to holler round the edge, or go in to

you[Pg 77] wouldn't mind lending me some stage furniture for the aftern

Mr. Carton," he said, "I couldn't do that, but I'll give 'em to you ou

But Andy was obdurate, so I let him have his way. There was just one other difficulty-that of getting my wife away from Waydean for the afternoon, but that was easily arranged. I remembered that she was in the first stage of the rag-carpet fever, and had announced her intenti

r when two women gits started rag-carpetin' they don't remember they've got husbands until on about supper-time. When they settle down we'll drive the stock over and arrange them to look nateral. I was goi

ggestion. "No, Mr. Taylor," I replied; "I couldn't think of letting you take such a menial part. I'd rather give up the pe

he responded, wi

e attached. He scarcely noticed Peter's growing crops, but he studied the domestic animals intently, jotting down memoranda in his note-book. The inspection evidently satisfied him that they were not stuffed, although in their unfamiliar surroundings the cattle wore a strained and u

g

with a snap. "Carton," he bur

his eyes rolled in such a vicious way that I instinctively moved dir

led-hoodwinked

mirror. I drew myself up to more than my full height-thank Heaven, I could at least see myself elongate! Andy Taylor, standing beside his buggy with a sopping sponge in one han

ased to hear, as pale and frosty as a[Pg 81] s

hat I'll pay Harold Jones back for this

es?" I quer

," he adjured me, slapping me on the back. "You don't seem to get on to my mean

s conception of the extensive scope of my farming operations. When Griggs adduced his conversation with me as evidence Harold had laughed still more uproariously, declaring it was the best joke he ever heard-further

, with some heat, "you e

aving been made a fool of. I can understand a fellow lying on a business deal, when it

emanded wrathful

riggs, with a vicious jerk of his h

to the house and we'll have a little re

Griggs proceeded to attract his attention by snapping his fingers, as if the boy were a puppy or an infant, remarking, to me, that he was wondering where I kept the kids. Now Paul is not shy, but we never could induce him to notice a stranger's advances without being formally introduced, consequently, if his mind is suddenly withdrawn from his imaginary world, he looks shy

riggs, at last, "what

. I noticed that his eyelids didn't even blink. Griggs glanced at me; I felt, rather than saw, the patronizing co

meaning, "why don't you answer? Wh

liberate tone, addressing me pointedly, but still

ity that he would rather look like a horse than a cow. I had no more presence of mind than to reprove Paul on the spot for his rudeness, a course which could only result in one of t

g

ted, hurriedly. "Stand up, and I

en stating actual facts that came under his observation and his habit of making up fictitious persons and events. The latter propensity we never checked, believing that nothing should be said to prevent the fullest developme

ear his voice distinctly, but only the alternate interrogatory rumble of his companion's. Ev

g

Father said it wasn't worth while to send for the doctor, and we shut him up in the barn so th

alf-sisters. Not of any conseque

afford to feed such a large family. Then he said he'd let me keep them if

or the whole crowd, and that he shouldn'

play for an hou

ing potato bugs excep

my box, and I locked him up for a week.

g

full pail of bugs, or els

Tom put in the Reforma

urning to the veranda. Griggs was obviously distraught and had little to say except that he was in a hurry to get back to the city, but he looked at me as if he were mentally formulating charges to lay before the Society for the Pr

it anyone's business but my own, Mr. Griggs, whether I keep[Pg 88] only a few fowls or a large assortment of domestic animals? Tell him that I w

shouted Griggs