The Enchanted Typewriter

ne began to click and the bell to ring. I had fallen asleep in the soft upholstered depths of my armchair, feeling pretty thoroughly worn out by the

re to give up Aldus and other club dinners with nightmare inducing menus. But I was soon convinced that the real state of affairs was quite otherwise, and that everything really

o, ol

speak, and if some one were sitting before it and writing a line the mere differentiation of sounds of the various keys would convey to the mind t

" said I, look

t help it. During the campaign I am kept s

ut in. "Do you have

des latterly. There has been a great growth in the democratic spirit below, and his Majesty is having a deuce of a time runn

perplexed somewhat, for

onaparte, for instance: the government has ruled that he was personally responsible for all the wars of Europe from 1800 up to Waterloo, and it was proposed to hang him once for every man killed on either side throughout that period. Bonaparte naturally resisted. He said he had a good neck, which he did not obj

onary, whereupon Bonaparte remarked that he wasn't responsible for that; that he though

sday came, and the police went for the Emperor, but he was surrounded by a good half of the men who had fought under him, and the minions of the law could do nothing against them. In consequence, Bonaparte's brother, Joseph, a quiet, inoffensive citizen, was dragged from his home and hanged in his place, Nicholas contending that when a soldier could not, or would not, serve, the government had a right to expect a substitute. Well," said Boswell, at this point, "that set all Hades on fire. We were divided as to

res to be returned

of Hades were all right; that it was the extreme view as to the power of the Emperor taken by that person himself that wouldn't go in these democratic days. Punishment for Bonaparte was the correct thing, and Bonaparte expected some, but was not grasping enough to want it all. They added that recent fully settled ideas as to a humane application of the laws required the bunching of the indictments or the selection of one and a fair trial based upon that, and that anyhow, under no circumstances, should a wholly innocent person be made to suffer for the crimes of another. These journals were suppressed, but the next day a set of new papers were started to promulgate the same theories as to individual rights. T

ericanization of Hades has begun at las

but, on the other hand, it desires to maintain all of its own aristocratic privileges. The main trouble in Hades at present is the gradua

and labor he

teenth have established Ye Ancient and Honorable Order of Kings, to which only those who have actually worn crowns shall be eligible. The painters have gotten together with a Society of Fine Arts, the sculptors have formed a Society of Chisellers, and all the authors from Hom

g inconsistency and le

ing that has lasted a hu

"I saw a joke of yours the other day that's two hundred centuries old. Diogenes showed it to me and said

nd my guest, so I smiled and observed that I had frequ

men like Charles the First this uncertainty as

the coal being delivered at the office of the Minister of Justice, and we all thought him quite magnanimous, but it leaked out, just before I

savor somewha

iors who never were used to taking orders from anybody, but were themselves headquarters, the despotic sway of Apollyon is intolerable, and he hasn't made any effort to conciliate any of them. If he had appointed Bonaparte commander-in-chief of his army and made a friend of him, instead of ordering him to be hanged every month for 415,000 years, or put Caesar in as Secretary of State, instead of having him roasted thre

And Po

and F

u bet, A

a donk

n And

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d Jacks Col

e pay the

blades in green letters, and not satisfied with this barbaric act, right under the jingle they added the line, in red letters, 'This edition strictly limited to one copy, for private circulation only,' and they every one of 'em, Apollyon, Mazarin, and the rest

done it, but I cou

treatment was barbarous, but really I do think it sh

on me I don't enjoy it very much. I'm only human, and should p

machine gave a slight hitch forward, a

on't lose anything by it. After I get the minutes done I have an interesting story for my Sunday paper from the advance sheets of Munchausen's Further Recollections, which I shall take great pleasure in leaving for you when I dep

d put in most of your time whacking at the government editorially,

nd his cabinet, I've decided to keep out of politics for a little while. I can stand having a poem tattooed on my back, but if it c

und the promised bundle of manuscripts, and, after boili