The Lost Girl

ina and Miss Pinnegar. They began to treat him with a certain feminine indulgence, as he fluttered round, agitated and bewildered. He was like a bird that has flown into a r

nto the shop to turn over the old débris of the stock. At one time he showed the alarming symptom of brooding over his wife's death. Miss Pinne

Let the shop! Permit the name of Houghton to disappear from the list of trades

ld be fitted up as a sort of quiet family hotel for the better classes. The shop should be turned into an elegant hall-entrance, carpeted, with a hall-porter and a wide plate-glass door, round-arched, in the round arch of which the words: "Manchester House" should appear large and distinguished, making an arch also, whilst underneath, more refined and smaller, should show the words: "Private Hotel." James was t

lly and angrily hostile to him: "You'll ma

in why?" answer

This loggia would give a wonderful outlook to the south-west and the west. In the immediate foreground, to be sure, would be the yard of the livery-stables and the rather slummy dwellings of the colliers, sloping downhill. But these could be easily overlooked, for the eye would instinctively wander across the green and shallow valley, to the long upslope opposite, showing the Manor set in its clump of trees, and farms and haystacks pleasantly dotted

use! Already he winced. We all know what a provincial Temperance Hotel is. Besides, there is magic in the sound of wine. Wines Served. The legend attracted him immensely-as a teetota

tion of this scheme. When first it was disclosed to her, her

he blurted, bridling and ducking her head

you explain why!" retor

us!" she repeated, unable

" said James, ris

r watched him with a sort of sullen fury. She went to the shop door to peep out after

aken to

" said

said Miss Pinnegar

l she was weak. It all seemed re

nageress, I tell you. It's absolutely ridiculous. Who does he think will come to the place? He's out of his mind-and it's drink; that's what it is! Going

composure and a little weariness. "I know it's p

can say," blurt

in to a meal, the tw

Alvina, "there'll

ty of people," said he

s Head, in K

re are the business men here? Where are the foreigners coming h

men," said James. "A

or sixpence, and apricots or pineapple for ninepence, and ham-and-tongue for a shilling, and fried ham and eggs and jam and cake as muc

ings." Through his mind flitted the idea of 1/11-1/2-but he rejected i

higher class in Woo

ble to rest

pply you create a d

te a supply of better

a moc

cupied on higher planes. It was the look of an obstinate little

af and stone blind: there was no James. This nettled him. And she miscalculated him. He merely took another circuit, and rose another flight higher on the spiral of his spiritual egotism. He believed himself finely and s

stem. James was a little dashed. He had calculated much less. Having only a few hundred pounds in possession after Throttle-Ha'penny, he was prepared to mortgage Manchester House if he could keep in hand a sufficent sum of money for the running of his e

f the old maids. She was thin and nipped and wistful looking, about forty-two years old. In private, she was tyrannously exac

en she found Miss Allsop at the back d

Miss Allsop! W

e room, the common li

nd speaking in her Sunday-school-teacher voice, "to ask you

said

came to father about the building alteratio

Alvina, making b

t do you think

ke into a laugh. "To tell the truth I

I don't know how much. It is bound to be a dead loss. And your father's getting on. You'll be left

?" said

ng, planked upon the sh

hould do all I could to p

of money, mortgaging Manchester House up to the hilt. Alvina sank in a kind of weary mortification, in which her peculiar obstinacy persisted devilishly and sp

fore him. The father had left each of his sons a fair little sum of money, which Arthur, the eldest, had already increased ten-fold. He was sly and slow and uneducated also, and sp

peered and crept under the sink. Alvina watched him half disappear-she handed him a candle-and she laughed to herself seeing his tight, well-shaped hind-quarters protruding from under the sink like the wrong end of a dog from a kennel. He was keen after money,

rds upstairs. Alvina followed them persistently, but a little aloof, and

cost a g

ad. Then he looked at her. She sm

r nothing," he said,

later," said James, l

iss Houghton," s

. Witham," replie

she heard him say: "Well, I'll work it out, Mr. Houghton. I'll work

nd, just a little supercilious with her fa

tins of paint and putty stood about, varied by sheets of glass and fancy paper. Lottie Witham, Arthur's

tham in?"

tham ey

answered, and sh

, in his shirt-sleeves:

d Alvina, with hurried amiability. Arthur lifted his blue eyes to h

it?" said Ar

can, for father," said A

d on her face. Mrs. With

for?" asked Lott

rned to t

o on with this scheme. It's bound to fail. And Miss Pinnegar a

ail," said Arthu

no money, I'm su

rse, Alvina was considered a lady in Woodhouse. That was what it had come to, with James's decl

inute?" said Lottie Wi

a rare and bold strok

stinct was to refuse.

n his shi

. She was led into the new drawing-room, done in new peacock-and-bronze brocade furniture, with gilt and brass and white walls. This was the Wit

was sharp and shrewd in the uptake, and for some reason she

ost out of his life. His two women left him alone. Outside difficulties multiplied on hi

no opinion at all of Manchester House-wouldn't hang a cat in such a gl

in Alvina's bedroom, and looked at the enormo

ened out of your life? Even if I had Arthur at one side of me, I should be that frig

ing. "I haven't got an A

nt a husband on both s

ie W

atched closely to learn from her guest the secret of repose. The indefinable repose and inevitability of a lady-even of a lady who is nervous and agitated-this was the problem which occupied

tty ambitions. In his limited way, he was invincibly ambitious. He would end by making a sufficient fortune, and by being a town councillor and a J.P.

n she had tea at his house, she would try to rouse his attention. But though he looked at her, steadily, with his blue eyes, fr

r. He had been a school-teacher in Woodhouse: had gone out to South Africa and occupied a post in a sort of Grammar School in one of the cities of Cape Colony. He had accumulated some money, to add to h

is vacations in Woodhouse-and he was only in his first year at Oxford. Well now, what could be more suitable-a young man at Oxford, a young lady in

usehold drudge: for James begrudged even a girl to help in the kitchen. She was looking faded and worn. Panic, the terrible and deadly panic which overcomes so many unmarried women at about the age of thirty, was beginning to overcome her. She would not care about marriage, if even she ha

men, what are you to do? Supposing it isn't in your nature to attract loose and promiscuous men! Why, then you can't be a prostitu

once they had committed themselves. She would involve and lead a man on, she would destroy him rather than not get of him what she wanted. And what she wanted was something serious and risky. Not mere marriage-oh dear no! But a profound and dangerous inter-relationship. As well as

s Houghton had become so stingy that it was like an inflammation in him. A silver sixpence had a pale and celestial radiance which he could not forego, a nebulous whiteness which made him feel he had heaven in his hold. How then could he let it go. Even a brown penny seemed alive and pulsing with mysterious blood, potent, magica

allowance of two shillings a week. She was very angry. Yet her anger was of that dangerous, half-ironical sort which wears away its subject and has no outward effect. A feeling of half-bitter mockery kept her going. In the ponderous, r

ehouses in Knarborough and picked up job lots of stuff, with which he replenished his sha

man. Picture her disappointment when she found Albert quite unattractive. He was tall and thin and brittle, with a pale, rather dry, flattish face, and with curious pale eyes. His impression was one of uncanny flatness, something

between two worlds. In an aquarium fish seem to come smiling broadly to the doorway, and there to stand talking to one, in a mouthing fashion, awful to behold. For one hears no sound from all their mouthing and staring conversation. Now although Albert Witham had a good strong voice, which rang like water among rocks in her ear, still she seemed never to hear a w

h a sort of complacent delight-compassionate, one might almost say-as if there was a full understanding between them. If only she could have got into the right state of mind, she would really rather have l

us silence, fish-like and aloof, about him. He seemed to swim like a fish in his own little element. Strange it all was, like Alice in Wonderland.

uthed speeches, she seemed to hear in him a quieter, subtler edition of his father. His father had been a little, terrifically loud-voiced, hard-skinned man, amazingly uneducated and amazingly bullying, who had tyrannized for many years over the Sunday School children during morning service.

of the old block. Who ever would have belie

bicycle, and go out on

't ride,"

of lessons. There's not

I ever should,"

ou're nervous?" said Art

she pe

iled Albert broadly, with his odd, g

id Alvina, feeling she was slowly

arn on," said Lottie. "A

aid Arthur rudely. "Take

nergetic strain of peddling a bicycle over miles and miles of high-way did not attract Alvina at all. She was completely indifferent to sight-seeing and scouring about. She liked taki

aming down at her from

ill you have you

fusion. "I can't promise.

rudely. "But what do you

use," she said, lo

ain round its neck, and

ed, showing

do, with everything on your h

though you mayn't believe it, since you say I do

ded little fortu

irl to help y

was beaming at he

od to get a bit of exercise out of doors. Come down to the Coac

ey. It was a delightful place for learning to ride a bicycle, but open in full view of all the wor

lly can't. Thanks,

Albert. "Oh well, we'll s

el I can,"

feel like it,"

he time. It's the nervousness." Again Albe

you. You need

ot afraid,

erposed Arthur. "Women's fau

ring way was something she was unaccustomed to. It was like the jaw

ached for his straw hat,

he went with him laughing and chatting. But she did not feel at all comfortable. He seemed so pleased. Only he was not pleased with her. He was pleased with himself on her account: inordinately pleased

id not seem to be walking with his whole body. His manner was oddly gallant, with a gallantry that completely missed the individual in the woman, circled round her and flew ho

at the shop

ee you aga

nxiously, for it was locked. She heard her

d Albert suavely and with a certa

, letting Alvina pass, and shu

t?" he asked

itham," s

o do with you?" sa

ng, I

, and made her feel she was not herself. She felt she didn't know, she couldn't feel, she was just scattered and dec

, strolling past several times and looking in through the shop door and up at the upper windows

tarched collars that showed all his neck. And he kept looking up at her during the service-she sat in the choir-loft-gazing up at her with apparently love-lorn eyes and a faint, intimate smile-the sort

into Knarborough Road, there was Albert stepping forward

id, in a mock deferential way that sho

d Alvina airily. He s

ngagement, then, for t

e replie

you think?" he said, glancing d

the girls were pairing off with the boy

. "But I can't go far. I

shall we go

er the not-very-original walk up Flint's Lane, and along the railway line-the coll

him about his plans, and about the Cape. But save for bare

Sunday nights as a

Grainger-or I go down to Hall

walks with the

never have it,

ow?" he asked, with

knows!" sh

lly does," he

the rather stumbly

arm?"-offering he

right," she s

earer to her, and offering his arm. "

not that,"

arm, rather unwillingly. He drew a little ne

id, giving her hand the tiniest squ

replied, w

wered his

ince I was on this

ur old walks?" she

or twice-with girls th

want to marr

ay have done. But it n

hought it never

hy

t seem to, you know. Perhaps nei

think so,"

y, "I should like to marry-

you?" he

the right man

you haven't met him?" His voice seemed smiling w

I had-when I was en

you were mistak

was so ill a

something to con

what she should do if

f such a desire on his

ing he formulated no d

on after nine, w

you in the we

an't promise now,"

d-ni

as a decentralized perplexity, ve

a walk, Miss Pinnegar?" she sa

" replied Miss Pi

magine," said Alvi

imed Miss Pinnegar, st

e your breath aw

Pinnegar. "Well-! Well, I declare!-" and then, on

ible!" rep

d Miss Pinnegar. "I t

y good?" as

ed. She looked at Alv

he man I should have

he'll do?"

nnegar. "Why shouldn't

inking on the sofa wit

ng to do with him if you don't care

e evening he appeared at the back door with a bunch of white stocks in his hand. His face lit

ooking at her with the pale light in his eyes, that smiled palely right into h

n?" said Alvina.

ased. He mounted the steps, still

his chair and peered over his

ina, "you know Mr.

He still peered over his

y sight. How

ut his fr

hand, and giving his broad, pleased, pale-gl

these? Will you accept

with shining, pal

e said, with false br

if they had been a bunch of white and sharp-toothed ferrets. Then he looked as suspici

e a

r reading," said Albert, still having

s Houghton. "The

e flowers in a jar. Sh

a lovely sce

e excited smile. There was a pause. Albert,

re reading!" And he

!' Oh yes! What do

es, "I am only i

a man who can't get away from himself. You meet a lot of peopl

drawback?"

power of action. Now I wonder why self-consciousness should hinder a man in his action? Why does it cause misgivi

ak character. I believe he's a d

tly. He's only weak in one direction. No, what I wonder is why he feels guilty.

s strange, smilin

But if a man never knows his own mind,

is that he feels guilty for not knowing his own min

this point, which had no pa

nows what another man ought to feel. Every man has his own special feelings, and his own right to them. That's where it is with education. You ought

o end to the conf

es and conventions and laws, for social purposes. But in private you feel

e certain feelings common to humanity

words. But the feeling varies with every man. The same idea represents a different kind of feeling in every different individual. It seems to

ldered to know whether

ght, Alvina?" he sa

p to it. But Albert watched her, smiling abstractedly. It seemed as if his words came off him without affecting him at all. He did not think about

on of his interlocutor, he did not speak to him: merely said his words towards him. James, however, was such an airy feather himself he did not remark this, but only felt a little self-important at sustaining such

ousers and brown shoes. He was even rather smart, judging from his yellow socks

hook hands. "How do you find Woodhouse, after being away so long?

d. "I find it the

like to sett

mped, you know, after a new country. But it ha

"I suppose the old connec

no associations like the old ones." He s

ss Pinnegar. "You don't find that the

ething missing-" Again he looked towards

l count for something, in spite of the greate

sailing back to the Cape." He smiled as if in anticipation. Yet it w

agreeable to

I keep mys

ur subjects?

But I do mental scienc

What had all this to do with her. The man talked on, and beamed in her direction.

ad and cheese and currant-loaf, and water, was all

hrough the shop, Alvin

the long, dark, encumbered way

hether you're coming

ink I can,"

rather t

aid. "What

o much

lowly and s

t keep?"

m her hand and turned quickly into the shop, closing the door. He remained standi

ina re-entered. "You can say what you like-b

," said James Houghton

lly bored,"

ooked at he

e choir into the Chapel, and out through the main entrance, whilst he awaited her at the small exit. And by good luck, when he called one evening in the week, she was out. She returned

ss Pinnegar. "Mr. Witham wa

e down the yard and saw him.

looked at her

know your own m

uch behaviour?" said

nt to meet h

of her friends, and gathered the scarlet and hot yellow and purple flowers of August, asters, red stocks, tall Japanese sunflowers, coreopsis, geraniu

gan-loft, and saw the flicker of a candle. Some workman busy before Sunday. She shut the baize door behind

he organ-loft the hammering continued. She arranged her flowers in many vases, till the communion table was like the window, a tangle of strong yellow, and crimson, and purple, and bronze-green. She tried to ke

sh and bang and tumble, up in the

na, looking up into space.

She went round the side-and there she saw a man in his shirt-sleeves sitting crouched in the obscurity on the floor between

ith me," said the infuriated voice of

icking her way over the steps.

e asked, stoopi

It was pale, and his eyes were sava

ecause of the shock. The shock

see,"

et with blood. Then he did a curious thing. With both his hands he pressed her hand down over his wounded leg, pressed it with all his might, as if her hand were a plaster. For some moments he sa

tself. He could not bear the sudden acute hurt to his

d professionally. "But you'd bet

-leg higher and rolled down his stocking

how a ligh

t him a light, whilst he examined his broken shin. The blood was flowing, but not so much. It was a nasty cut

he said, noticing the black hairs of his shin. "W

my jacket

ompletely oblivious of her. She got his handkerchief and wiped her f

it up, then

at his hurt, while the blood slowly trickled down the wet hai

ated at length, a little impatient.

a plaster, and applied it to his wound, pressing it cautiously but firmly down. She was rather angry. He took no notice of her at all. And she, waiting, seemed to go into a dream, a sleep,

p," he sa

bandage with numb fingers. He seem

et, looked at the organ which he was repairin

anger," he said, towards the steps. Then stubbornly, he ri

on, will you

you'd hold them steps a minute! There isn't more than

etter leave i

worked, tapping and readjusting, whilst she held the ricketty steps and stared at him from below, the shapeless bulk of his trousers. Strange the difference-she could not help thinking it-between

w he had pressed her hand gently but firmly down, down over his bruise, how he had taken the virtue out of her, till she felt all weak and dim. And after that wa

ummon her strength, to have her own back from him. After all he had taken the virtue from

off tinkering, a

finished?"

answered

r down. When he got to the bottom he cro

for," he said, as i

dage holdin

" he answere

ing to make su

turning aside and taking up his

I," she

hurried into his coat and gathered his tools, anx

t was smeared with blood, as was the cuff of h

hurt?"

k here!" She showed the

," he said, fri

present it's there. Don't yo

iled a

d. "I'm very

be more than t

er, but looked

," he said. "We s'll

d. What a man, answering her like a little automaton! Seriously, quite seriously he said it to her

aretaker, met them. He was a tall thin man w

you?" he said, grinning in echo to

death-trap," said Arthur angrily. "Come down on top of me, a

id Calladine good-humouredly. "I n

. My leg's as near

e you hurt

e. Look here-" And he

a had given the candle

Arthur stooping over

his length and hel

roughly, thoroughly, and threw away the wash water and rinsed the wash-bowls with fresh water, scru

o Knarborough. She would be back at nine o'clock. Alvina set about to make a mock woodcock, or a mock something or other, with cheese and

s Pinnegar entered. "The supper's just done

r, and started out again with a mouthful the moment he heard the ping of the bell. He kept his customers ch

sat at the meagre supper-table. Her eyes were dila

d about Albert Witha

r looke

asked, demurely,

d Alvina, breaking

at has h

appened. I can

ly-" said Mi

And I won't try. There! Isn't that plain?" And she went off into her hurried lau

o sure-" said Miss Pin

" said Alvina. "I

often most mistaken,

n mistakes than somebo

vi

ybody to pay for your

neg

the same if I d

arpened the edge of her temper. She was waiting till tomorrow. She was waiting till she saw Albert Witham. She wanted to finish off with him. She was ke

the choir. In the Withams' pew sat Lottie and Albert-no Arthur. Albert kept glancing up. Alvina could not bear the sight of hi

p us safe

rom all

guard us wh

ing light

about them. And she simply detested the look of the back of Albert's head, as he too stooped to the vesper prayer. It looked mean and rather common. She remembered Arthur had the same look, bending to prayer. There!-why had she not seen it bef

. He came forward lifting his hat with

ning," sh

you," he said. "And I've lo

little. She put

e stroll. The rain i

," she said. "

rry! Walk as far as

thank

What makes

't wan

cold and supercilious look of anger,

ecause of the

mind. But I don't want

an anythin

rds out of her mouth. "Why should you mea

im straight

walks, thank you-none at all," she

!" he replied

quite sure

aid, with a sneering grimace. He sto

made her furious. Putting her umbrell

d, unseen by her. But his vo

g. But her soul was bu

shaken t

n unkind to him. But it was done-