The Woman-Haters

r. Brown. It took Seth just four minutes to climb into the garments he had discarded and reach the open air. His guest

e up ahead of time, aren

But sence Ezry cleared out I've been a kind of human ala

e and regarding it respectfully, "is this t

I was over to the Center. Why, what'

haps

you ask? Ain't i

be sarcastic. It's stronger than I

at plug. THAT ain'

it, then-

e left when he went away. It's 'Honest Friend.' 'TIS fla

an joined i

t up. Bah!" he smacked his lips disgustedly and made a face: "'Honest Friend'-is that the name of it? Me

es and start gettin' it. All there seems to be to this j

tchen. Then he utte

dishes?" he demanded. "I

the bench and sau

u would have to if I didn't, and it seemed

he dishes, hey? Wh

e. That's where the

, took a plate from the

t ain't such a bad job. Not so all-fired bad,

ound hanging

s. And you wipe

ls in sight, except that one on the door; and, for

ment. 'Tis

iving room, or whatever you call it, I found a whole stack

d up a damp and bedraggl

t up somewhere, I suppose. I'll

much obliged

nl

s with the sink cloth and w

dishwasher's

he g

a-

ase! Well,

in't washed many dish

very m

burst into a roar of laughter.

nuine cloth, or sponge, or whatever is the proper caper for dish-washing, I'll un

very minute, and that when he got a chance he would do them himsel

n't know but I'll let you. Here's a couple of dishcloths, and there's the towels.

lazily under the stars. Overhead the big lanterns in the towers thrust their parallel lances of light afar into the darkness. The only sounds were the low wash of the surf and the hum of the eager mosquitoes. Brown wa

thing concerning himself, was busy thinking of various guileful schemes with which to entrap the cas

e you'll be wantin' to get word to your folks. Now we can telephone to the Eastboro depot, where there's a telegraph, and the depot master'll send a dispatch to your people, lettin' 'em know you're all sa

replied Bro

on it. Now who'l

couldn't think of puttin

one. Land sakes, I do it four or five

edn't s

se, if you'd ruthe

telegraphing either. I didn't drown, and I'm very comfortabl

r folks? Won't they learn, soon's that steamer gets in

dn't

" he snapped. "Won't they learn that you sot sail in her and neve

through the stem of the pipe and ble

w they'll learn

er folks'll wir

ve to find

me, 'John Brown,' of such and such a place,

d Mr. Brown,

y in a blind alley. He pulled viciously at his chin whiskers. His companion shifted his

seemed to reach

at any rate, I haven't gathered any moss, any financial moss. I'm broke. I haven't any friends, any that I wish to remember; I haven't any job. I am what you might call down and out. If I had drowned when I

e, y

s seem to be a good way fro

xteen from Denboro, and two from th

stance. No neigh

ry

ross the brook here. It seems

e paintin' pictures of the water and the beach and the like of that. Seems a pretty silly job for grown-up men, but they're real pleasant and folksy. Don't put on no airs nor nothin.' They're most

visitors to

r-seater, but not often. The same gang never comes twice. Road

vish! Atkins, you

hing effect. The lightkeeper bounced on the bench

ered shrilly. "

if you were married, that's

are through the darkness at his companion's face.

hy shou

ere, young feller, you-yo

made

t? Can't you understand plain United States language? What ma

at each other for a moment; then Brown leaned back a

d'you hear?" he snarled.

faced by a pitying

get through and puncture the brain after a time, I presume. I

' about," demanded A

. I'M

Do you mean

uestion sets a chap to pounding and screaming and offering violence, then-well, it's either

is pipe. The lightkeeper still stared, suspi

n to insult you

were you, however, I should see

I beg your pardon for holleri

ant

"would you mind tellin' me why

thing of your wife, but it was barely possible that she was away on a visit, or somewhere. There is no

slowly; "yes, yes, I see. So yo

ized that you were subject to-er-fit

d of touchy on some p'ints. Didn't I tell you no women

t n

logized for bein' one a f

part, I assure you. Let's forget

ody and disinclined to talk. After a time he announced that it was getting late and h

ute. Atkins, suppose I asked you another question-wou

suspicious look re

"Depended on what y

! be calm. Sit down again and listen. This question is nothing like that. It's about that assistant of yours, th

Stand watch and watch with me, and scrub brass and clean up around, and sweep and wash dishes and-and-well, make hi

ve they appointed his successor yet? H

o the Board, but I ain't. I was so glad to see the last

you won't

That's rules and regulations; and, besides, I can't keep aw

from his pipe. Rising, he laid a

r be it from me to toot my horn, Mr. Atkins, or to proclaim my merits from the housetops. But, speaking as one discerning person

l limp upon his lap, and he stared at the speaker. The latte

And echo answers, 'He's all right!' I am a candidate for

OU

M

go on! You'

ine of your experience I agree to ripen rapidly. I can wash di

e this! YOU! an edicated, able young chap,

ow do you know I've bee

without having the example done for me on a blackboard. You're a rich man's son; you've been used to sassiety and ci

wn refused

at this spot, at this time, Eastboro Twin-Lights needed an assistant keeper. I like the spot. It is beautiful. 'Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife.' With your permission, I'l

on watch," he said with decision. "You tu

. But John Brown sprang from

my question," he declared.

shness. Besides, I ain't got the say;

," with a modest gesture, "look what the government is get

lishness, I tell you. Why," impatiently, "course it's

't know anything a

tably agitated. He stopped in his str

ld reply, he turned again, strode to the door of the light, flung it open,

ilderment. Then he shrugged his s

led wickedly, as if it knew all of poor humanity's s