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The Unspeakable Perk

The Unspeakable Perk

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Chapter 1 - MR. BEETLE MAN

Word Count: 5316    |    Released on: 06/12/2017

uite a contract that he had undertaken, for there was a large expanse of Caribbea

cool air down the slope and a little trickle of cool water from a crevice beneath the rock, to despise that placid, unimpressionable ocean and all its works and to

ighbor below-whence one emerges from a sea of verdure into full view of the sea of azure. For the time, she was content to rest there in the flow of the breeze and feast her eyes on that broad, unending blue which blessedly separated her from the United States of America and certain perplexities and complications comprised therein. Presently she would resum

more than a few feet, indeed, but still far enough to transfer it from the shade into the glaring sun and into the view of the girl above. The owner made no move. If the wind wanted to blow his new panama into some lower treetop, compelling him to throw s

or the girl, it was a direct inference that this was a hat which she knew intimately; which, indeed, sh

ry that might have meant dismay or wrath or both, as something metallic tinkled and slid, presently coming to a stop beside the hat,

eled, slender Adonis whom the trouble-maker confidently assumed to have been u

and when, for an instant, the face was turned half toward her, she saw that the ey

touches, it felt them all over. A mild grunt, presumably of satisfaction, made itself heard, and th

g shock number three. What sort of hermit had she intruded upon? Into what manner of remot

der the rock. Evidently the spectacled o

again?" sh

ed the voice, with

ou didn't break

you d

ded to ignore this prompt

ere some one els

o I am,

u are

lse than yo

But I meant some one

wish I

rigued by the fervid

this infernal hell-hole of a black-and-tan

oveliest spots I've ever

have you b

k? Perhaps f

e rock. In

time. Nearly

as so indefinite that sh

al dialect you

at was

s a very polite grun

'm afraid I'm o

u seem expert en

'll apologize if-if you

ughed

e amended prompt

lk to order. But why do you stay 'way out here in the

YOUR human voice I want to hear-y

arly different from plenty of other human voices," sh

eard the last American girl speak the last American-girl language that's come within reach of me. Oh, no,-there WAS one

up an

t is, ma'am.

! Of

ike freckles. Not on

VOICE?

and you might know it without a diagram-is that, from your voice, you ought to be all that a man dreams of when-well, when he hasn't seen a real American gir

gold an

nt myself with that. One look might pull down, In irrevocable ruin

WHA

No tour would be imbecile enough to touch

at's my

t a figment of the overstrained ear. And if I undert

't believe in me, I'll

't say that! I'm

appeal that she laughed

ome, be honest with me. Yo

s lovely a

ong golden-that is to say, silken ha

she replied

ough so that you co

hair?" she queried, on a note of m

m offering you a bribe for conversation at the price

ke voodoo," she observed.

toward the head, please. Now pu

aid the v

. Now have y

es

hem tog

a period o

ficult," compl

. There must be sprightly conversat

t ab

ught I was when you

goo

OSE! Wh

y say 'Boo!' to a goose?

courage. Now, I

er mirth rang in his ears. "I should imagi

t see you. If I were face to face with you, I'd stammer and get red and make a regular imb

man! ARE you

Was that th

m scalped. You'

down. All right. I've got it. Wait!" The fragile line of

en rose over the face of the rock, t

te! Orchids,

rown bee orchid. J

o you know?" she

have gold flashes in the bro

eyes. But where do y

rivate garden und

and dreary round unle

, now, Miss-er-" There w

ok at you as you chased your absurd spectacles was enough to s

er are you, I hope, until you've

or a spray

are quite

ery lo

n acquaintance at his word and free her mind as she had not been

y to go?" he cried, alar

'm thi

think

nking-supp

nsideration in her accents that

t come down f

ce you any more than you want to

raged. "It sounds

ul secret of my life that I'm considering laying bar

Prescribe any form of

w, if I knew you, of course I couldn't. But as I shal

ou creep up o

and you can be my augur and advise me wit

y m

are never to meet. And if you ever do meet me a

ully, just a bit too che

then. I'm

m wh

om

ly. Wher

York," she

, with a sigh. "What d

oub

nything else?" he inquired philoso

r little me. They all thought I ought to marry t

d you say Ut

ied them all, now, it might have been easier, for I like them ever so much. But how could

of all plac

ions and things. It's very beautiful, but I al

h is

er, and I'm so fond of him. Only it's more the br

No. 1. Wh

led millionaire. If he weren't so serious and qui

3 for the last beca

e his name in all its luster on the Hotel Kast register, when you ge

rn," commented

calls them 'niggers'-and married into all the first families of Virginia, and all that sort of thing. He must quit

you wish

'd have to spend the rest of my life keeping him and his pride out of trouble. And I've no taste for diplomacy. Why, only last we

his country before that g

I don't suppose Fitz is afraid of anything on earth.

eless flirt!" accused the i

t. And, anyway, who are you to judge me? You're not h

ted the othe

o an augury.

that, it's

y n

u, when you are gone, as unmarried. I

old maid, in order not to spoil an ideal! Perhaps y

ring alarm. "It isn't in my line-I mean I haven't

scrambling about like a doodle b

uch insect as

Are you personally acquainted

's my business.

matter of sentiment! I might better have stuc

uld he b

on the trail. Purposely. I sent

hen HE'S t

eston Fair

you said 'Boo!

didn't steal h

hat. Why did you

always run away. I'm beginning to f

below, a silence t

nything to say before the court passes

thoughts. I mean, they wouldn't interest you. I might

en fo

very inte

as a conversationalist, when thrown on your own resour

aid desolately.

r w

g music in

score with the orchids. If you have one or two more pretty

"there's the hexagonal scarab beetle. He's awfully queer and of much older fa

ome," she interrupted coldly. "I didn't c

about you, if you'll give

lk about myself. Just because I asked your advice in

lease

d we are never going to meet. Just as I was beginning

he answere

il dit? Qu'est-ce qu'il dit?"-What's he say? WHAT'S he say?-over and over again, becoming quite wrathful because neither he nor any one else offered the slightest reply or explanation. The girl sympathized with the bird. If

. Beetle Ma

ngly. "You're not a quarter of a m

t know whic

rock; turn left down the slope, right up the

ns, I never could re

rsuasively. "I can make i

o listen! I'll

you up my

our compass," s

t sigh exhale

nt me to g

, for the monosyllable was of that accent which sets

ne; perhaps she would have swallowed pride and her negative, an

r living thing could possess such demoniac little red-hot pin points of eyes, or be so bristly and grisly and vicious. Th

lly think that you couldn't find the road, I could draw you

LU

r. Such was his first thought. When he finally collected himself, his eyeglas

irmed his worst suspicions, and, dazed though they were at the moment, there were deep lights in them that

u GOGGLESOME!" s

nds to the huge

?" he babbled. There was a distin

down!

; that ma

Y b

e. I-I-I see it's tru

? What

I mean to say. I-I-I don't re

oy! I landed right

g did. I thought i

e pouted. "But there! I dare say I

injured sharpness of inquiry born of his own exasperation at his verbal fumbling,

speak to me if you saw me, and here you are telling me that you don't wan

" he said miserab

k it. You look

I-I-You see-as long as you were just a voice, I could manage all right, but now that

amazed and amuse

he poor man?" she inq

you. I-I

I thought i

l dit?" demanded the yellow-breasted

" And her laughter put to shame a palm thrush who was giving what he ha

ter stipulating that we should be strangers, to-to act this wa

for me, after I've opened my heart to a strange

limpid eyes welled up a

idn't mean-I'm a bear-a pig-a-a-a scarab-I

doing a

As for your secrets, I dare say I wo

?" she cried in q

lasses, you see. They make

eard me?" sh

t. But I forget quite easi

s in her lap, her eyes upon

ake the

My gl

them

why sho

ou can see

nt to see y

much more interest

scarabs and I don'

pect. Do you know what I

n-n

with a scientific person before. It's aw

ructions, from which she disentangled such phrases as "first t

ow, I'll cry. Really,

to have a Chinese cook, but he lost all my shirt studs, playing fan-tan. Can you play fan-tan? Two can't play, though. They have funny cards

celess flirt, who falls on his neck and

ain!" he wailed. "What d

real, live, hairy devilkin on stilts. He ran at me across t

ula, I suppose, fr

eadly, are

tific nonsense. I'll go

ou know not of to more fam

tula out of the way, there's n

e? What do you think of th

d inquisitor had

?" he queried, cocki

wishes I'd go home and stay there. And so I'm going, with my

" protested the badge

seemly haste to m

he top of the rock, where you came from, and-

gnomish behind the goggles, protruded over the rim. The girl was sitting with her hands folded in her lap, contempla

e began n

t he almost fell off his precarious

ou were laughing at me o

he

the t

icions are correct. Did

o his trapdoor home a

't you de

ock, with strict instructions to bite any one

e free from the blight of my regard, you bec

shan't hear you again, unless, perhaps, th

nce? You know I almost think I should

y n

we leave

southern coast? It

Puerto d

's no

t see her funnel over that

you are going i

? I kn

e contr

serted, quite

eated. "You'

be absu

over that tree

loo

see an

rt of litt

t's

y shadowy s

stance enoug

? I'll gi

ain-side. Orchids of gold and white and purple and

nd love but them forever," she laughed. "A

to-morrow at this hour and stand on the

he pier, for you'll surely lose

d from a thicket into the highway, above the red-tiled city in its setting of emerald fie

, and thank you for your mountain treasures. Send them to Miss Brewster, care of the yacht Polly. She

eyes, startled, and looked ou

nything the matt

es

Well,

d to forget," complai

ried merrily; but her color deepened a littl

o, she turned, and was surprised-or at least she t

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