A Fool and His Money

to be putty in the hands of other people? I doubt it. Even a strong, obdurate mind is liable to connect with conditions that r

ng brain like my own there is no such thing as tenacity of purpose, unless it be in the direction of an obfuscated tendency to maintain its own pitiful equilibriu

and Baron Umovitch at the outset of their campaign to acquire undisputed

-long habits, which, among other things, included lying in bed till noon, going back to bed at three for a quiet nap

bstitute a screw and use a screw-driver, a noiseless process but an insufferable waste of time and money. Lathers worked four days on a job t

noblemen why on earth they couldn't get up for breakfast, they cold

ts of secret operatives engaged in the task of unearthing the former Mrs. Pless. Here he had as many as fifteen reports a day by messenger from all parts of the land and here

as could be when it came to the question of the derelict countess. They maintained the

was on the point of telling him to go to the devil, he smilingly called my attention to a complete plan for the restoration of the two great halls as he had worked it out on paper. He had also written a personal le

atened to leave if they were compelled to continue to serve drinks until four in the morning; but were somewhat appeased when I raised their wages. B

per correspondents back and forth across the much be-sung Danube. Time and again I shivered in my boots when th

reat kidnapping case. The wily Mr. Pless suddenly ceased delivering his confidences to outsiders. Eviden

ugh, but under the extremely harassing conditions it was far from possible for me to get fat. As a matter of fact, it seemed to me that I was growing thinner. Mrs. B

s thoroughly sick of the baron and Mr. Pless. She

y of deliverance. The g

y say that I wa

ff to a remote corner,

d the two husb

e said very soberly. "I swear to you

derstand everything. At least, nearly everything. What I can't understand, for the life of m

er knows much about a man until she has lived a week i

ou did not have to live in the same h

is awful week, John. We've talked it all over among ourselves. We are

e you now. You two and the Smiths stand out like Gibraltars in my esteem. I adore all of you. I sha'n't be happy again until I

deal of feeling. The te

dear, John,

'll

with vehemence, a genuin

the place, I'll drop you a line," said I, immeas

her nice little white teeth. "I

issionary work. Very pointedly I said to her: "I fancy you are will

ing me with dilated eyes. "I can't imagine anythin

you are sorry for her? Why won'

me sharply. "D

eplied hastily, and with

een to have me ta

he instant I saw

s. It was hard for

at poor little girl. I can tell by the look in your eyes that you have

think she was justified in leaving him. As I know him now, I don't see how she endured

my dear: a h

now think she did right in tak

e prone to call it. Oh, by the way, John, I don't see why I should feel bound to ke

thinking of telling m

e to hear that you've been entertaining t

I d

it was that he married and h

I d

why

a horror to me, as it is, God knows, without giving a name to him. I prefer to think of him as Mr. Pless. If you don't mind, Elsie, I'll try to eradicate him thoroughly from my system as Pl

g me quite hopeless. "You are an odd thing, John. God left something out when He

?" I asked, yi

've seen her hundreds of times driving about alone in Vienna, where they spent two winters, a really pathetic figure, scorned not only by her husband but by every one else. He never was to be seen in public with her. He made it clear to his world that she was not to be inflicted upon it by any unnecessary act of his. She came to see Betty and me occasionally; always b

ing of how it would sound to her; "she has

. The-Mr. Pless has squandered the first million and now he wants the balance due him. A trade's a trade, John. The old man ought to pay up. He went into it with his eyes open, and I haven't an atom of sympat

d to be a

afely with the kiddie,"

e is. Maybe she's as s

t be surpri

njectures as to the probable whereabouts of Mr. Pless's former wife and their child. I was immensely gratified to fi

ing watched by secret agents. They were awaiting the arrival from New York of the father of the countess, after which they were

eeling of apprehension, a sensation t

of letters. He would enliven his tale by making Mr. Pless do something sensational while he was about it, such as yanking his erstwhile companion out of her place of hiding by the hair of her head, or kicking down all the barricades about the p

of his first visit to my domain. For fear that you, kind reader, may

able baron) took me to task for having neglected to book compartments for them in the Orient Express; he insisted upon having a luncheon put up in a tea basket and taken to the railway station by Britton, and he

amounted to something like four hundred and fifty kronen, if I remember correctly. He took away eleven hundred and sixty-five dollars of m

he was the smartest ari

zzards and the Smiths

top of the steep all the Schmicks were saying it, too; in the butler's pantry it was also being said; a score of workmen were grunting it; and the windlass that drew

'd like to say

vociferously that I know it must have be

not unlike the grand transformation scene in the pantomime when all that has been gloom and despondency gives way in the flash of an eye to elysian splendour and dazzling gaiety. 'Pon my soul, I ne

he, incessant crackle of a typewriting machine. Never have I

m a busy pipe, for all the world like a tugboat smothering in its own low-lying smoke. Sheets of paper were strewn about the floor. Even as I stood there hesit

ling to break in up

g for me outside my bedroom door late in the

ed me a dainty little pearl-grey envel

dinner, Conrad," said

, will

e. I read the note again and felt almost boyish. Then I went up to my room, got out my gayest raiment without shame or compunctio

d me with a radiant

e," said I, drawi

then I knew that the symphony

vely charge during that season of travail and despair. No, indeed! I had visited

be growing lovelier every day. In a hundred little ways

instead of bullying me into things she now cajoled me; instead of making demands upon my patience and generosity, she rather hesitated about putting me to the least trouble. She wasn't so arrogant, nor so hard to manage. In a nutshell, I may say with some satisfaction, she was beginning to show a surprising amount of respect for me and my opinions. Where once

ing the changes that attended the metamorphosis. It seemed to my eager imagination that she was being translated before my eyes; developing into a serious, sensible, unselfish person with a soul preparing to mount

o pronounce my name, and getting nearer and nearer to it every day. At the time of which I now write she was calling me (with gr

ou to ask me up to di

that you have done for me?" she inquired gaily. "We are having a part

. "As if we haven't been eating

e food," she said, and I w

to have rather a sumptuous repast of my own to celebrate the deliverance. A fine plump

or pear salad," she inte

in the world

Harry, the amazing creature was inviting me to eat my own dinner i

ttle pink ears made hideous by ear-rings. Her face was a jewel sufficient unto itself. I had never seen her in an evening gown before. The effect was really qu

to bribe all of your serv

ascals money, I hope," I

vant after all. "I hope you don't mind my borrowing your butler and footman for the evening," she went on. "Not

urn to say

mary good night," she said, glancing at

ake. She managed to put her arms around my neck when I took her up from the bed, all tucked away in her warm little nightie, and sleep

ike a clumsy kangaroo. Rosemary shrieked delightedly into my ear and I danced the harder for that. The Countess, recovering from her surprise, cried out in laughte

Rosemary, but looking d

celeb

etted with graceful abandon before me, in amazing contrast to my jumping-jack effor

emary cry when I delivered her up to Blake and started to slink out of the room in the wake of

ot out while the illusion was still alive. (As

entre of the board, a huge bowl of short-stemmed Marechal Niel beauties. The Countess's chair was pulled out by my stately butler, Hawkes; mine by the almost equally imposing footman, and we faced each other across the bowl of roses and lifted an American cocktail to the health

attan I've ever tast

er faith in me. "It was meant to b

that the corners of Hawkes' mouth twitc

iciously oily. The champagne? But that came later, so why

pears in the town hard by. These came from Paris. The chef had spoken to me about them that morning, asking me when I had ordered them. Inasmuch as I had not ordered them at all, I couldn't satisfy his curiosity. My first thought was that Elsie Hazzard, remembering my fondness for the vegetable-it is a vegetable, isn't it?-had sent off for them in order to surprise me. It seems, however, that Elsie had nothing whatever to do w

at I am expecting my mother her

that nothing could have depressed me. I must confess, however, that I was guilty

o!" I exclaimed,

oming if you think you ca

why speak of managing a thing th

ute of the time by detectives, spies, secret agents, lawyers, and Heaven knows who else. The instant she leaves Paris, bang! It will be like

n the risk?"

er," she said reassuringly. "They

t isn't strength we'

caution, and all that sort of thing. But I will let

lantly, trying t

ts and conspiracies in your books, Mr. Smart, that I

came over me. I had quite forgotten the two men. The look

awkes," she said, to my astonishment. "They are

Madam,"

to say, Cou

itely engaging any one, Mr. Smart, and I referred him to my lawyers in Vienna. I do hope Hawkes and Blatchford and

ht, might feel uncomfortable at hearing themselves discussed so impersonally. "Everything is most satisfactory. I did n

ry gravely and in unison

he rest of her family into the castle were already off her mind. "I can't tell you how much I enj

doesn't fit the story, my dear Countess, but what is an author to do when his publisher announces that he ha

rmarks of having posed in the chorus between the days when she posed for your artist. And

said I, cheerfully. "A little thing like that doesn't matter, when it comes

sisted. "The last picture in the book has her with inky

rtist changed his model before he got to the last picture," sai

have noticed the error

critics never see the

ch too clev

must get horribly sick of al

escence that persons with less chronic afflictions have to look forward to

wport who said he hated ever

itation. It was not until the next afternoon t

p with a flaw in my vanity, she abandoned the subject after a few ineffectual attempts t

her eyes. Very promptly I said I should be. We were having our coffee. Hawkes and Blatchford had left t

t said that I don't want to talk about literature? B

indignantly. "You will

up and made

ade a difference. "Are you g

he said r

k, dank, grew

tain

lo

, looking at me over the

ll about i

ve been searching for it for two centuries without success. My-that is, Mr. Pless has sp

I don't like the idea of his lo

me a smil