A Woman-Hater
ouncing a remittance; one to Lord Uxmoor. On reading it, he was s
d Zoe-"Ha
eing thus drawn, he said
has been seized with small-pox, and his life is in danger. He has asked for me,
contagious," cried Fann
low; and instantly rang the bell for his
id, softly, "It is brave and good of you. We poor,
firmly, looking full at her. "If you th
high, and
earnestly, though in a somewhat broken voice, "that you will not let this
pleasure out of one's head." This he said, with his eyes on his plate, like one repeating a lesson.
I shall pray for him. But, ah, I know how little prayers avail to avert these cruel bereavements." She was young, but old enough to have pra
served, made Lord Uxmoor gulp, and, not to break down before them all
a high-minded creature; she had been silent and reserved so long as the conversation was trivial; but, when trouble came, she was the one to speak to him bravely and kindly. Well, w
, he ignored the others, except that he lowered his voice in speaking to her. "God bless you for your kindness, Miss Vizard. It
e live in the same county, and we are on the way home. All I thin
went away disappointed s
oke, and Harrington held a council with the young ladie
for one," said
ly away from her to Harrington; "
her face stiffly toward Harringt
ately, ears are not c
ongues to t
were addressed poin
to the other; "am I to be a shuttlecock, and yo
said the frank Z
at is th
ter" (s
oll the bell.' Here goes one more immorta
bridled. N
derstand it, consists in speaki
rep
ell-bred t
ans
at distinguishes an estra
rep
s see how long you can hold spite-SIEVES!" Then he affected to start. "What is this? I spy a rational creature out on yonder balc
man, turned two red faces and four sparkling eyes to each other, with the instinctive sympathy of the joi
time. The men were good friends as usual, safe, by sex, from tiffs, a
disturb stagnation. She suddenly cried out, "La! and the man is gone away
inquired of him if anybody in his parts knew t
to see the folly of quarreling about
tiffly, "really I am surprised. Yo
dear; and pa
t that again
(penite
es!" (
uddle m
nt, like a lace scarf, and there was
l about the premises intertwined like snakes; and Zoe gave
and strictly ephemeral to say on everything, and don't know enough of anything to impale their hearers. In my youth there talked in Pall Mall a gentleman known as "Conversation Sharpe." He eclipsed everybody. Even Macaulay paled. Sharpe talked all the blessed afternoon, and grave men listened, enchanted; and, of all he said, nothing stuck. Where be now your Sh
on and Adam Smith. But, when we are standing or walking, we love to take brains easy. If this delightful chatterbox had been taken down shorthand and printed, and Vizard had been set down to Severni Opuscula, ten volumes-and, mind you, Severne had talked all ten by this time-the Barfordshire squire and old Oxonian would have cried out for "more matter with less art," and perhaps have even fled for relief to some shorter
timor, ira, voluptas, Gaudia, di
ft delight, the desultory charmer fell on a subject he had studied
ade the time fly so agreeably, was intended to oil the way to lubricate the passage of a premeditated pill. As soon as he had got Vizard int
s sudden turn of a convers
nd lost it," said he. "Now, take m
three hundred, and a great deal more, before I leave
. "That is the second step on the road to ruin; t
and proved to be false? Mine is untried, and
; you forget that: and the bank's system is to take a positive advantage, which mu
to a long run, the ind
rifling advantage the bank derives from an incident, which occurs only once in twenty-eight deals, avail against a player who
the bank every afternoon. Apre's? as we say
exa
eded by no indicia, belongs only to omniscienc
me very littl
d be played in caverns, and sixpenny-whist in the howling wilderness.' Ha! ha! how well I remember riding across Bullington Green one fine afternoon, and finding four Oxford hacks haltered in a row, and the four undergraduates that had hired them on long tick, sitting cross-legged under the hedge like Turks or tailors, round a rude table with the legs sawed down to stumps. You had two packs, and a portable inkstand, and were so
e youthful days, I demand a fair hearing." Then, gravely, "Hang it all, Vizard, I am
rd, hastily, and half a
foreknowledge; but I do to experience, a
er three. There-I beg pardon.
equally often in a total of fifty times, people, who have not observed, expect them to happen turn about, and bet accordingly. But they don't hap
N
ve not watch
gamblers were always my st
e principle runs through all equal chances-take the
yet. Come all the way fr
ere's an
, and judicious training. Every winning boat is manned by virtues." His eye flashed, and he was as e
luck has seldom alternated. I don't say, never. But look at the list of events; it is published every March. You may see there the great truth that even chances shun direct alternation. In this, properly worked, lies a fortune at Homburg, where the play is square. Red gains once; you back red next time, and stop. You are on black, and win; you double. This is the game, if you have only a few pounds. But with five hundred pounds you can double more courageously, and work the short run hard; and that is how losses are av
ere is a French proverb
rd, Et encore noir. Mais t
his shoulders, as if he were going to box the Demon of play for his friend, and he let out good sense right and left, and, indeed, was almost betrayed into eloquence. "What!" he cried, "you, who are so bright and keen and knowing in everyth
lkily. "Read nothi
tematically, is to gamble against a rock. Si monumenta quoeris, circumspice. Use your eyes, man. Look at the Kursaal, its luxuries, its gardens, its gilding, its attractions, all of them cheap, except the one that pays for all; all these delights, and the rents, and the croupiers, and t
, "A bank was b
d to it, or will return to it to-nigh
do. It is shut
n English gentleman does not stay years and years abroad unless he has out run the constable; and I feel sure gambling has done it. You had the fever from a boy. Bullington Green! 'As the twig's bent the tree's i
tell you something: I have a mania as bad as yours; only mine is intermittent, thank Heaven! I'm told a million women are as good, or better, than a million men. It may be so. But when I, an individual, stake my heart on lovely woman, she always turns out unworthy. With me, the sex avoids alternation. Therefore I rail on it wholesale. It is not philosophical; but
t first
urprise, as if they were new. In spite of past experience, I begin all confidence and trust: by-and-by come the subtle but well-known signs of deceit; so doubt is forced on me; and then I am all suspicion, and so darkly vigilant that soon all is certainty; for 'les fourberies des femmes' are diabolically subtle, but monotonous. They seem to vary only on the surface. One looks too gentle and sweet to give any creature pain; I cherish her like a tender plant; she deceives me for the coarsest fellow she can find. Another comes the frank and candid dodge; she is so off-handed she shows me it is not worth her while to betray. She deceives me, like the other, and with as little discrimina
u don't know how to take them," said Seve
nce I went through the established process-as fixed beforehand as the dyer's or the cotton-weaver's-adored her, trusted her blindly, suspected her, watched her, detected her, left her. By-the-by, she was my wife,
In Fra
era. You must give me your
you my wor
who sung the p
muttered
d Vizard,
on of confusion and curiosity, as if he could not take it al
I felt something like a bolt of ice run down my back. I ought to have jumped up and fled the theater. I wish I had. But I never do. I am incurable. The charm deepened; and when she had sung 'Le Parlate d'Amor' as no mortal ever sung and looked it, she left the stage and carried my heart and soul away with her. What chance had I? Here shone all the beauties that adorn the body, all the virtues and graces that embellish the soul; they were wedded to poetry and ravishing music, and gave and took en
ccount, it would be wise to go, and, indeed, dangerous to stay. But a mania is a mania, and so he could not. "Look here, old fellow," he said, "if the opera were on t
s that her name?
ncy I h
d. Ina Klosking! It is a s
be reasonable. I will go with you, Tuesday, as early as you like; but do be a g
d sad, and m
like you? If I had twelve thousand acres in a ring fenc
supercilious smile at being so misu
can give you bills for the money, and
ed. "Bills?" said he, gravely. "What,
e drawer, nor the acceptor. Besides, they are not
erchant, the
. If you will allow
to appreciate his explanation, the true part of it is pr
she will land that at Liverpool, and ship English hardware and cotton fabrics for the Mediterranean and Greece, and bring back currants from Zante and lemons from Portugal. She goes for the nimble shilling. Well, you know ships wear out: and if you varnish them rotten, and insure them high, and they go to glory, Mr. Plimsoll is down on you like a hammer. So, when she had paid my purchase-money three times over, some fellows in the
Vizard, wearily, "I wil
fellow!" said
favor, the right thing is to grant it at once. He doesn't want your advice; he wants the one thing he asks for. There,
id Severne, and went awa
s steps flagged a little; it struck him that i
's aerial character. Indeed they existed, as the schoolmen used to say, in posse, but not in esse. To be less pedantic and more exact, they existed as slips of blank paper, with a Government stamp. To gi
ed appears to fall short of forgery proper, but to be still more distinct from justifiable fiction. The ingenious Mr. De Foe
it matter to Ned Straw, since his system would enable him to redeem them at maturity? His only real concern was to conceal t
eded to a cha
ne started with terror, snapped up the three bills with the dexterity of a conjurer-the
ians among themselves, which is to kno
'm in a hurry to cash them now, and end the
thought swiftly and hard. The blood returned, along with his
"What is that to you, a fello
perstitious-don't like to do business on a Sunday. I woul
re is a limit to your superstition! Well
the
her, and said to Farmer One, 'Gien it were Monday, as it is the Sabba' day, what would ye tak' for your coow?' The other said the price would be nine pounds, if it were Monday. And so they kept the Sabbath; and
say it does not matter
one s
u, and does to me, give me my fool
ets his own way in everything. He will have your money-he won't have your money. I wonder wheth
ill, with
t luncheon-with t
n them in f
d, Miss Dover, and Mr. Sev
sted that Vizard sh
of deserting you
opened their mouths to agree, one being a profess
ue my conversation so, perhaps you will be good
d. That sigh went unpitied,
ng on between your sist
ittle fli
hat. I caught them, in th
id Vizard, with ma
im-kiss-
queen's hand, and the nation did not rise upon me. However, I object to it. The superior sex should not pla
them, unless you support me? There
th Fanny Dov
ad any designs on hi
Ned torn
sist this young man with Zoe; that is, because it doe
nunnery? Then I pi
lain enough to a
make me as wise
she means t
e!-that is too
Severne-ask the chambermaids-ask any creature wit
. When he recovered, it was
her that I think her adorable, and that matrimony is no longer a habit of mine. Set
sort. Besides, she has too much sense to plunge into the Severne an
friend's name,
a swift return to her original topic: "No; I know perfectly
d me a ship in full sail, and I praised it in m
nervous.' The other two will take the hint and make love a good way off; and Zoe will go greater lengths, with another
ot aware, perhaps, that Zoe and Fanny have had a quarrel. They don't speak. Now, in women, you know, vices are controlled by vices-see Pope. The conspiracy you dread will be averted by the other faults of their charac
and Fanny Dover glittered on t
"did not I tell you?
" said Fa
ers?" inquired Mis
-only by the
eft those
her. "These new boots are so tight that I really couldn't
med of yourself. What
ad. One does what one
als!" said Vizard, wh
iliarity with a person nobody knows, nor his family either? You are twenty-five years old; you know the world; you have as poor an opinion of the man as I have, or you would have set
ry bitterly. The words really pricked her conscience, and to be scolded is on
girl's tears. "There-there," said he, kindly, "have a littl
she must give me a proof she is sorry. Fanny, if you are a respectable girl
, eagerly; and went off
nd extended a skinny finger, like one of Macbeth's witches, and directed Vizard's eye to th
aitland turned to Vizard, with lean finger still
AM
interested in this little comedy. The first act is just over. There will be half an hour's wait till the simulatrix of infirmity comes running back with the pilgrims of the Rhine. Are they 't
rely you will be on t
ae, and no spectator. During the wait, I wonder whether the audien
l, the balcony is your smoking-room. You will see th
nd the personages required to co
ge, and directed him to go over to Homburg, and bring back all the information he could about the new singer; her address in Homburg, married or single, prude or coquette. Should information be withheld, Harris was to fee the porter at the o
y way of warning. Then it turned cool: then came a light drizzling rain
ed at Miss Maitland'
ver coming, but
en to task, but proceeded to avert censure by volubility and self-praise. "Aunt, I went down to the river, where I left them, and looked all
e back before yo
to rain; and it is
s not mi
he has got
ied Vizard. "G
her purple alpaca, and that is two years old. But my blue silk,
ess world!" sa
e tell me, if you can, either of you, who is this man? What are his means? I know 'The Peerage
er parvenues. But we can't all be down in Burke. Ned is of
e Maitland, with
English yeoman, where you see an unprincely prince
rd o' the North Countrie; A yeoman o' Kent, with
f malicious, intent, "you are quite sure
sit
a gam
one. He is a fine fellow; as good as gold; as true as steel. Always pol
brother to take a little more care of his sister, that is all. However, after your sneer, I shall say no
only the rain. La! poor things, they will be
there is nothing so dangerous a
y, eagerly; "because then she is frightened
ort the moment the words were out, and turned red, and looked askant, under her pale lashes at Vizard.
Maitland; "come i
ace, not doubting that the public "dea
old maid said to her, grimly, "Now, sit y
u have shown you were sorry; so I am not going to be hard on you: only you must b
w I have done rather wrong, and I won't do it any more; but pray,
and she had tiffed, and made it up, and Zoe had given her a brooch. Hereupon she went for
andpapa left you the money, and you know it is just as well to have a tiff now and then with a ri
d into the past an
t on these occasions of tiff, reconciliation, and present, the girl who received the present was to side in everything with
ey tigh
See-new
ake off your lame
e anybody you don't much care for. Night comes, and then you jump up and dress, and go to a ball, and leave your cold and your fever behind you, because the ball won't
d to her? But you must and shall promise me not to lend her
adroit concession, since she had been wat
you, I will tell you in confidence all the
y; and now her eyes began
a French casement, but a double-sash window-closed at present bec
as wax, drinking; and even when they are tipsy they keep their secrets. But once let them get by themselves and smoke, the very air is soon filled with scandalous secrets none of the ladies in the house ever dreamed of. Their real characters, their true histories, and their genuine sentiments, are loc
t the drawers.
ever did you
a ch
hed up there, liste
iten and wear false hair. There are plenty of coquettes about, ever so much older than I am. I
be cruel! I am
gy," and Shakespeare "damnable iteration," I must draw upon the intelligence of the reader (if any), and he must be pleased to imagine the whole dialogue of those two unguarded smokers repeated to Fanny, and interrupted, commented on at every sal
uls, and more delightful still whe
eeded that presently there came a sharp knock and an impatient voice cried, "Cha
Romance
Billionaires
Billionaires
Romance
Romance
Romance