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Towards the Inner

Chapter 4 The Trigger

Word Count: 3718    |    Released on: 23/03/2018

for Patrick – as this way it is the most beautiful, the most romantic, and full of love; just them, dedicating themselves to each other. This Caribbean holiday was for her

one in her Homeland and the other on the Island, she essentially had the right for two places, two participants free of charge. It was natural th

e, fearful, closed young university student with a good heart. He came as a part of a 2-in-1 package

liked people and was always positive, loyal and socially-minded, after so many years of solitude, after five year

metimes she would prefer the "Honeymoon" and to be alone with her dearest one, just some sweet

ed daddy into the bedroom for the "bedtime-

fact that he became

did not hesit

wish so. At least, you'll have som

roning, packs for them when they go travelling; can advise what to wear, cooks, and jokes with them. Yes, she did like humour; for her, it was the salt of life. She

nderstand her body language; to know that although her responses come with a straight face a

ast together, time on the beach together. The only exception was those two days

t in their room playing cards or reading. Every evening, Naomi prepared the clothes they should wear for dinner on th

o need to meet or to get to know any other guy. Her life and the only man in it was him – Patrick – and everything around them had turned into a grey fog. If she happened to communicate with another man, then it happened not because he was a man, but because he was a person who had or wanted some information, a joke, simply a commun

due to the lack of sex, as because of the last minute change in their booking, the hotel had only one suite available

he expressly required her company, enjoyed intellectual debates and "academic topics" along with her. She even dug

the clouds; out of happin

holiday was. She thought about ten steps ahead. He felt the love from her; he had to feel it. It penetrated their skin, but it was only skin-deep. In the firs

you want a

o to that awesome show Coco

, " Patrick winke

the sellers coming.

em!" shouted Patr

h with me, so I'll get them,

ed guests in the hotel lobby, to organise the transport to get them to the club. Naomi had bought VIP

crowd on the bus, and so she did not even try to brin

, self-sufficiency comes. Her life taught her not to need anyone – in terms of material world and the forms of security. However, after two years with Patrick, she brought that even to some level of extremeness. She bought everything herself, even for them. Her generosity knew no bounds when it came to gifts or flight tick

she criticised him about how she has to take care of everything and how he does not buy her anything. These were the "fatal" conflicts that repeated in incre

peating on and on. At least Naomi did not understand; she did not get why she still felt both absolute proximity and completely repulsing forces at the same time. The flirting that happened a few times was nevertheless never supported by her interest in someone else, not

h they went into was just another slap in her face. Patrick with his son separated after entry, and both went their direction. Naomi, keeping her head held high, marched to another section. They all met at the cashier

show, where it is all happening "all around", everywhere and nowhere, as if you are an interactive part of the show at all times. In the rungs on each floor of the arena, the local "Collectors" (not of taxes, but of performers) choose someone from the crowd – a hottie, a gentleman, a fat man,

ed for dancers to perform. She felt Patrick's response behind her, about three meters back,

ays have to stand out; you just can't sit in one place l

ove all, it belongs to the program, completes the overall effect, and ordinary participants compete

ssing between Patrick and his son. But not with her. The more spontaneous, more alive the discu

ere silent for the whole flight back from the Caribbean to Europe; they were silent on

verything; put everything back in its place, put on

enc

ld have been cu

ed as if they had forgotten how to talk. A speech the

urn, everyone in their daily r

re, her cousin was three months pregnant. It was unthinkable that they should not meet. Under normal circumstances, she would, of course, invite her to visit at her home, but that was impossible now. None of them would feel comfortable in the tense atmosphere of a dead aquarium that her home turned into – really, to invite her was inappropriate. So they ag

l be home around 9. I'm writing this to you, as we'

hin

eact

maybe wants to say something but says nothing. Silence. Naomi is not going to search out where he was. Her dignity does not allow her to start a cross-examination.

? What bothers you so much?

the airport? That you we

woman in one shop. They met at the cashier where everyone paid for their items. She felt bad about it. She threw at them an arrogant look and a harsh reaction when they wanted to

maid, not an equal partner. With that in mind, which she has now, these reactions would certainly not happen. She was the only cast in the running film. She saw herself in a mirror – Patrick did just what she engineered him to do through her behav

ut them, they would not work their way out to a total humiliation at the most primitive level. Without t

k "beautifying cure", since there was a stifling silence in the house, she only cried, "I'm off to the beautician and the mass

fficient. Basically, she does no harm, and that is precisely what hurts him. That there had been no fatal reason; that she had surrendered to their domestic rules an

five years of solitude, business, and hard work, she was accustomed to ending her day at her company, or the last working meeting at nine or ten o'clock in the even

l contracts, and her employees were working through the night at work, and she tried to change everything and adapt to a new life. It often took longer than expected be

continue... The problem was how to combine everything: a new family and her duties, expectations which she felt as set, smooth operation of the company, securing funding and other things for many more years into the future, in order to still have enough on her account and to continue to be independent and materially self-sufficient, to

lifestyle (it indeed seemed pleasant and nice in greater peace and ease). On the other hand, she had to figure out how and where to win contracts of a necessary amount to have savings for at least 20 yea

he had no PR meetings, business lunches, let alone business dinners. When she needed to deal something really important (it was done strictly on an opera

utely everyth

other her; it was more peaceful and harmonious in that way. It only hit her that she had to e

ot at all that a wealthy partner would take care of her, no; it

problem

lved it. H

p started e

aomi with her temper back then had no need to

arted packing – fast and furious, recklessly. Patrick found her already in the process of throwing the last bag c

that

both

aybe just destroyed something so beautiful

not han

id not know whether they

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Towards the Inner
Towards the Inner
“It might seem to you that in your life, whether work or personal life, the same events, situations, twist and turns, falls and failures repeat again and again. It all comes with the avalanche called sadness. Fear. Pain. Questions: Why am I here? What's this life about? What's its point, fulfilment? And why am I going through the same cycles over and over? If you think about it, maybe the conditioning, the repeating cycles, are not only yours, but also those that your parents had experienced. You live trapped in a vicious circle and you do just what your unconsciousness conditioned you with. Everything can be changed! Dive into yourself, feel the silence and beauty of your being. You might even stop those cycles... Your life will become conscious and full of brightness. Something similar happened to our protagonist – a successful, intelligent, beautiful and outwardly happy woman, who began to transform from a desperate, gloomy and damaged wreck into a real being full of love. An incredible story based on true events. A totally worthy read – it might change your life, too... The alchemist who travels towards happiness in today's world.”
1 Chapter 1 Prologue2 Chapter 2 My First Diary – "7 DAYS OF CLEANSING"3 Chapter 3 The Diary – DAY 14 Chapter 4 The Trigger5 Chapter 5 The Diary – DAY 26 Chapter 6 Fifteen Years Ago7 Chapter 7 The Diary – DAY 38 Chapter 8 The Diary – DAY 49 Chapter 9 Flight from Reality... Relax 10 Chapter 10 The Diary – DAY 511 Chapter 11 After the First Fatal Break-up12 Chapter 12 The Diary – DAY 613 Chapter 13 Falling in Love and So On...14 Chapter 14 The Diary – DAY 715 Chapter 15 Therapy with Daniel – Changes Begin...16 Chapter 16 Roaming and Searching17 Chapter 17 The Last Session with Daniel18 Chapter 18 The Transformation Begins19 Chapter 19 The Trip20 Chapter 20 The "Special" Events21 Chapter 21 The Mirror22 Chapter 22 A Beggar23 Chapter 23 Deconditioning24 Chapter 24 Epilogue25 Chapter 25 Notes and References