THE DIFFERENT SHADES OF WHITE- A LOVE

ISHED THIS

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Chairman requested me to stay at the Main house. I was very enth

a bother and besides I have to go for work tomorrow." he

long flight and you won't be able to enjoy your honeymoon if you're all worn out." The Chairman patted Shehzad's shoulde

oneymoon?" he asked in bewilderment. The

your honeymoon. You are young and you have such a beautiful wife. So go and enjoy yourself for once." The Chairman said with

e you took your father's place. So cut yourself some slack and give yourself

asn't that aware of Shehzad's position. Shehzad gave me sharp glare when

s to our Bedroom, I saw the

ses. My heart was exploding just by looking at it.

, he was still a man and my husband on top of that. There was no telling what h

iamond neck brace; it was getting harder to breath. I qui

t accept it as that. To me; handing off my virginity to someone whom I didn't ev

g sex with any woman wasn't a big deal to him. But to me- but for

o the bathr

o him. If not for myself, than it will cause God's displeasure and I cannot let that happen. And I had al

sooner or later, I will be able to capture Shehza

over baseless perverted thoughts

the back. I needed external assistance. I came out off the bathroom. Shehzad was sitting on the bad w

the Bathroom. My thoughts were wor

ously. He looked at me, his eyes livid. The Chairman had ruined his mood with the

I was getting a tingling sensation from his touch.

eating fifty miles per se

e had put a lot of stress on my delicate slender neck. I caresse

problem of wearing heavy jewelry otherw

rapped around my neck. His face was against my neck and h

his arms, but instead of answering, he lifting me into h

ine. He started to take his shirt off and ad

inst his approaching body, but he caught one of my

ng my wrist and loosening the buckle of his belt. Where he was touching, it left m

I wasn't rea

ready for this." I beg

gerly." He said-his voice soft and seductive like velvet.

er, his mouth was on top mine. This kiss was dif

t me breathless and as I gasped for air,

after all. His lips were on my neck and

hat you didn't see me as your wife-then why are you doing this to me." I cr

doesn't mean that I don't see you as a woman." He smirked in

ppose to mean? my though

e grinned playfully. His eyes were sardonic-but somewhat forlorn. And beca

shing me me

And before I realized it, I was already crying. Why was I the only one who had to succumb to fo

? My virginity is the only

at me in bafflement. "So you've neve

o decided to take the virgin road?.....no wonder w

it looks like that it was worth every penny." He murmured in my ear-his voice fearle

on up some courage. "Why would you want to do this to me if you don't ev

topped and arose-his face

ing me in a dazed state. I took my sari from the ground and quickly co

d wicked. I always thought that his eyes were mature looking despite his age, but

love." He hissed maliciously. I gulped in dismay-feeling tensed. He

g as unrealistic and fake as

hought. You seriously think that only by loving someone, you can have sex only then? You really are a moron of the highest order" he joked

." I retorted. He narrowed his eyes and his expression became gravely forbidding. "That will never happen. I will never love anyone, least of all you. But if that's a challenge, then I gladly accept-it's not like I'm despe

mercy." He threatened and lighted a cigar. He was relishing it and

ou are my wife-even in paper. Especially if anyone from the media got a ho

l. "Why?" I mumbled-my voice

married to a simple village woman-then my reputation as a respectable bachelor wi

preju

guts to ask him to explain it to me further. He wen

e closet for me. Most of them were lingerie. What I had f

paying any attention to me; he climbed into the be

he doesn't have any feeling towards me so I can't say that he hates me-but it seemed to me that something had happened to him in the past to make him feel so much hatre

like me-an orphan, but he had such loving relatives, unlike me. He has everything, yet his eyes were s

must be why he didn't invite her tonight? Was it because he wasn't given any love

e. The muscles of his face were relaxed. There wasn't any

ants to say-but then again, it's only natural for someone who has been devoid of love

now my sense of duty had made me come into terms of something else too; I cannot abide my anything that doesn't agree to my feeling. At first I thought that if time made me suffer, then I will swallow the p

the Nikah-nama. I had given up on myself and made myself weak by being subservient. But now I wanted to believe that change can only be brought if both

the on

***

ren't a real couple. For the time being-we're just husband and wife by name only. My luggage was prepared by Sonia. I was glad that it consisted of Shalwar Kurta and a few shirt pieces with jeans. If I wasn't married, then wearing western style clothing wasn't a problem for me, but now, I'm completely compelled to

attention to me at all. As soon as we landed in London, he just opened his laptop, started making som

el room. He had given me the liberty to go for shopping if I wanted-he thought that this was my first time coming to

end to. We were staying at one of the Atish resorts that were located near the Eiffel tower. He left without telling me anything. I was feeling so lonel

us live in Paris for some time when I was small, so my elementary education was compl

topped. It was

Abu would come, I would push him towards the nearby play ground, where he would play with me to make up for lost time. That way, I would always make new memories. Som

ss and love towards me-he would do anything to

am. I thought that even if I'm married off, I will always loo

s pointless but still-I felt so lonesome. I wanted to cry, but I know if I did that, then the little courage I have will be lost. At this pha

. It was getting dark and the street lamps were dimly lite. I didn't want to go back to that gr

xi. I had come here using one of the Hotel's vehicles, but I forg

taxi anywhere. I sighed. I could call for the hotel but I didn't bring my ce

ise it will ruin his reputation. I can't believe that he's so selfish and self centered. He doesn't understand the sanctity of marriage or th

cation is incomplete, isn't mature enough and a penniless orphan-compete with him. B

demerits while in front of others, he's like a saint. I wonder if I should tell the Chairman about Shehzad's despicable behavior. But if I do tha

d. If Shehzad is back at the hotel room-will he be worried about me coming bac

"Mademoiselle, your cousin was worried for you. He has called many times to check where

run." I apologized and went running towards the elevators. Shehzad was

take in a few breaths-prepa

m. I sighed, took my boots off and flung my coat and hand bag on a nearby sofa.

ion!" he urged impatie

a few errands to run, so I went out." I replied, s

Do you know how much trouble you

ied about me?"

id yourself." He hissed

e, then please don't make such a ruckus over a small issue." I settled the matter sternly. His stare intensified with irritat

or the dining hall a

help it if I feel lonely and deserted. I guess that I had made my point p

ro rail and visited Germany, Luxemburg,

ever we would go together, we would pretend to be strangers-on the same

vies. But I was only deluding myself. Knowing his split and aggressive personality, I can only imagine

out my honeymoon. I was feeling lonely and isolated; with no one to talk to, to laugh with or to spend a good time with-tho

m-was that once he starts sulking, he acts like a child and wouldn't do anything unless the other party would make

me if Shehzad was working or enjoying himself-and I would innocently lie and t

eal. Shehzad didn't care if I ate from the seven star hotel cuisines or the low rate Asian street restaurants. I didn't do any shopping at all-how could I b

rom the Chairman. He deliberately delayed our flight in Rome-and I so badly wanted

't give up yet. There are many things that I

***

Shehzad left for work as soon as we landed and Larry had to go

low profile as par Shehzad's orders-I couldn't let anyone from the outside know that I was the Wife of President S

ut the honeymoon trip. How could I tell her that it wa

ing her my coat and hand ba

ve gone to buy them, but apparently, the Master had taken the

uying the groceries anyway." I sighed. I was tired

blouse and black jeans. I wrapped my head into a scarf, put on some jewel

he was dressed in a black uniform and his age seemed around s

charge of escorting you around the city as p

ur service, Mrs. Atish." He slightl

chauffer driven cars. I suppose Shehzad hired him so that he wouldn't have to trouble himself with me regarding

o the underground parking lot. There were a lot of sports cars and con

he ground floor, Hubert asked for the destination. I gave him an address in Brooklyn-luckily, Shumaila whose gra

hot here-unl

s a housewife

hade of white-it's s

***

a very long and tiring day. I never knew that grocery shopping would take so long. And what was worst that the card Shehzad had given me was a credit card, which I hate the most. I had to call Suzan in the middle of the waiting line to know the pin number. After that, I came back t

If he skips out on lunch, then he must have dinner at all costs and if he misses dinner, then he must have lunch the next day-and he never has breakfast. Well at

n Kurta with a Churi Dar pajama. I also went through all the trouble to put on some make up and sm

ging from the expression on his face-it was evide

ice-putting on my most perfect smile, I greeted

ere let me help you with that." I offered and took a hold of the coat from the back. "

tantrum get to me. I

He turned around in bewilderment. "What do you

try to at least get along; if not as husband and wife then at least we can start off by being friends. I don't have any family of my own or relatives so I have no choice but to m

came neutral-maybe he was struggling with an answer. But after a few seco

that I managed to make him agree to something on my part-though I do doubt myself if sharing my situation with him was wise. His personality was very unpredictable. What if he used th

the Biryani dish from the microwave-Ami's first rule about a brilliant rice dish

e table. He yawned twice-which disp

im. He frowned in puzzlement. "What is this?" he inquired in

onveyed. There was a strange glint n his ey

asked kindly, touc

thi

surprised at all. It was natural for a half breed Pakistani to be deprived

ave never had home

survive all these years." I

hagr

did you do about yo

y read them. I guess he was curious enough to give a new tasting food a try because the frown was gone now

that question because I

n I ask you a few things?" I asked innocently.

f your true origins, right?"

I get you Acquainted t

at me. I knew he wouldn't understand so

omise that you'll approve of a little change in your life. Variety is

will be amusing. New experiences are a

s eyes bulged a little in surprise, but he didn't snatch his hand away-instead he carefully and gentl

on't be able to make it so you should proba

don't worry about me." I claimed nonchalantly. He

st asleep. I smiled gently at him. Time passed by pleasantly tonight. I wish that the days to come would a

***

jr prayer, but I knew it would be in vain-he was a Pseudo Muslim after all. And

o do. Shehzad woke up at 6:00 a.m. sharp and went to the gymnasium after refreshing himself.

eclared jollily when he arrived at the livi

arbucks coffee always suffices." He said

thought of wasting food is just so terrible. And I can't eat it all by myself, now

day? Now you have to abide by it." I finish

he tasted my omelet. And what I inferred about him was that if he didn't like something, h

ble in his direction. "I work with cash. A credit card doesn't sit well with me." I announced

g with using a credit

can relax a bit." I declared. "No-just deal with what you

ded him a lunch box. But he pushed it to my chest in refusal. "I don

wrong wi

day or he was suffering from his mood swing

?" I noticed that m

ace them head on. I decided with sheer determination, wiping t

***

sh Mansion. The Chairman had requested an audience with me and Shehzad-of course he refused but I alread

tly with the harmony of my surroundings and the beauty and fragrance of the roses-there

y green house on the balcony back at the apart

when he approached me but he motioned with his hand to keep sitting. There was also a man coming with him. From the way he looked, with the black suit and su

ed." I complimented elatedly, com

The Chairman chuckled

w them y

e me to work hard and shed sweat." The Chairman asserted, his expression turned sole

rom humble origins." He pronounced modestly. He seeme

ht him back to reality-but I could have sworn t

these roses, I'm reminded of my be

ow that he mentioned it-the Chairman's

oses, you see." H

rection. I wanted to give this to you." The Chairman handed the package to me. "You don't need to open it now. It's a po

I have enrolled you in ST. Agatha's Academy-it's a private elite school. My other grandchildre

t I would get the chance to complete my edu

ted. You aren't made to sit at home. I sense that God created you for a special purpose, my dear." The Chairman said, passing his hand over my head. It felt so tender. I could feel his love. He wasn't related

been taken care of." The Chairman uttered

on. Pakistan could really use a person of yo

u're right.

r going back and settle their

I don't know why, but you remind me of my Gul

shan

e was a young man standing beside a young woman who was sitting on a chair. Sh

Gulshan." The Cha

auty." I commente

es. Just like you, she told me to settle in

to her..?" I guesse

ed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to p

Chairman covered his mouth. I saw that he was struggling to hold on to his tears. "It's been such a long time since then. If only I had listened

him a glass of water and rubbed him

stand that you have had to stay quiet and keep a lot

story. But let me tell you everything. I don't want to be silent anymore." The Chairman had lost all sorts of comp

ter him since I was his only son, but I was more interested in Law. But when I became a full time lawyer, my father and mother died-thus leaving all their property in my hands. I returned back to Karachi, where I got married to Gulshan, who was m

tried to go back into law practice, but it didn't go so well either. At that time, Gulshan supported me tirelessly but she always advised me to go back to Pakistan. She was always homesick, but I didn't listen to her. And in time, she contracted small pox and died. I fell into utter despair. But I remembered all her saying. She had such profound Faith and I realized that I had stopped trusting in God and had taken everything for granted.

ll the wrong things that were happening around me. My children had grown up without my supervision and they were completely ignorant about the ways of Islam. Only Umair and Mansoor remembered what Gulshan had taught them. That's why Umair married a Pakistani girl. But as for the others-my second wife, Rebecca who was also a very staunch Businesswoman-she involved all my other children in arranged politi

partners." I finished his sentence for him. "An

lways been a troubled child but he is the most deserving and hardworking among all of my children, just like his father Mansoor. But I believe that by entering Islam into his

t cherished grandchild to the path of Allah. I pray that your union with Shehzad will absolve

position of Chairman." He turned to smile at me. "You see these roses-these are species that grow in Pakistan only-I had them specially ordered from P

Chairman told. It made me come across another

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