Nicholas Nickleby

ictly speaking, what youwould call a merchant, neither was he a banker, nor anattorney, nor a special pleader, nor a notary. He wascertainly not a tradesman, and st

he tax-gatherer?’　　‘No! Let him call again.’　　Noggs gave vent to his usual grunt, as much as to say ‘I thoughtso!’ and, the ring being repeated, went to the door, whence hepresently returned, ushering in, by the name of Mr Bonney, a palegentleman in a violent hurry, who, with his hair standing up ingreat disorder all over his head, and a very narrow white cravattied loosely round his throat, looked as if he had been knocked upin the night and had not dressed himself since.　　‘My dear Nickleby,’ said the gentleman, taking off a white hat which was so full of papers that it would scarcely stick upon hishead, ‘there’s not a moment to lose; I have a cab at the door. SirMatthew Pupker takes the chair, and three members ofParliament are positively coming. I have seen two of them safelyout of bed. The third, who was at Crockford’s all night, has justgone home to put a clean shirt on, and take a bottle or two of sodawater, and will certainly be with us, in time to address themeeting. He is a little excited by last night, but never mind that; healways speaks the stronger for it.’　　‘It seems to promise pretty well,’ said Mr Ralph Nickleby,whose deliberate manner was strongly opposed to the vivacity ofthe other man of business.　　‘Pretty well!’ echoed Mr Bonney. ‘It’s the finest idea that wasever started. “United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin andCrumpet Baking and Punctual Delivery Company. Capital, fivemillions, in five hundred thousand shares of ten pounds each.”　　Why the very name will get the shares up to a premium in tendays.’　　‘And when they are at a premium,’ said Mr Ralph Nickleby,smiling.　　‘When they are, you know what to do with them as well as anyman alive, and how to back quietly out at the right time,’ said MrBonney, slapping the capitalist familiarly on the shoulder. ‘By-thebye, what a very remarkable man that clerk of yours is.’　　‘Yes, poor devil!’ replied Ralph, drawing on his gloves. ‘ThoughNewman Noggs kept his horses and hounds once.’　　‘Ay, ay?’ said the other carelessly.　　‘Yes,’ continued Ralph, ‘and not many years ago either; but hesquandered his money, invested it anyhow, borrowed at interest, and in short made first a thorough fool of himself, and then abeggar. He took to drinking, and had a touch of paralysis, and thencame here to borrow a pound, as in his better days I had—’　　‘Done business with him,’ said Mr Bonney with a meaning look.　　‘Just so,’ replied Ralph; ‘I couldn’t lend it, you know.’　　‘Oh, of course not.’　　‘But as I wanted a clerk just then, to open the door and so forth,I took him out of charity, and he has remained with me ever since.　　He is a little mad, I think,’ said Mr Nickleby, calling up acharitable look, ‘but he is useful enough, poor creature—usefulenough.’　　The kind-hearted gentleman omitted to add that NewmanNoggs, being utterly destitute, served him for rather less than theusual wages of a boy of thirteen; and likewise failed to mention inhis hasty chronicle, that his eccentric taciturnity rendered him anespecially valuable person in a place where much business wasdone, of which it was desirable no mention should be made out ofdoors. The other gentleman was plainly impatient to be gone,however, and as they hurried into the hackney cabrioletimmediately afterwards, perhaps Mr Nickleby forgot to mentioncircumstances so unimportant.　　There was a great bustle in Bishopsgate Street Within, as theydrew up, and (it being a windy day) half-a-dozen men were tackingacross the road under a press of paper, bearing giganticannouncements that a Public Meeting would be holden at oneo’clock precisely, to take into consideration the propriety ofpetitioning Parliament in favour of the United MetropolitanImproved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual DeliveryCompany, capital five millions, in five hundred thousand shares of ten pounds each; which sums were duly set forth in fat blackfigures of considerable size. Mr Bonney elbowed his way brisklyupstairs, receiving in his progress many low bows from the waiterswho stood on the landings to show the way; and, followed by MrNickleby, dived into a suite of apartments behind the great publicroom: in the second of which was a business-looking table, andseveral business-looking people.　　‘Hear!’ cried a gentleman with a double chin, as Mr Bonneypresented himself. ‘Chair, gentlemen, chair!’　　The new-comers were received with universal approbation, andMr Bonney bustled up to the top of the table, took off his hat, ranhis fingers through his hair, and knocked a hackney-coachman’sknock on the table with a little hammer: whereat severalgentlemen cried ‘Hear!’ and nodded slightly to each other, asmuch as to say what spirited conduct that was. Just at thismoment, a waiter, feverish with agitation, tore into the room, andthrowing the door open with a crash, shouted ‘Sir MatthewPupker!’　　The committee stood up and clapped their hands for joy, andwhile they were clapping them, in came Sir Matthew Pupker,attended by two live members of Parliament, one Irish and oneScotch, all smiling and bowing, and looking so pleasant that itseemed a perfect marvel how any man could have the heart to voteagainst them. Sir Matthew Pupker especially, who had a littleround head with a flaxen wig on the top of it, fell into such aparoxysm of bows, that the wig threatened to be jerked off, everyinstant. When these symptoms had in some degree subsided, thegentlemen who were on speaking terms with Sir Matthew Pupker,or the two other members, crowded round them in three little groups, near one or other of which the gentlemen who were not onspeaking terms with Sir Matthew Pupker or the two othermembers, stood lingering, and smiling, and rubbing their hands,in the desperate hope of something turning up which might bringthem into notice. All this time, Sir Matthew Pupker and the twoother members were relating to their separate circles what theintentions of government were, about taking up the bill; with a fullaccount of what the government had said in a whisper the lasttime they dined with it, and how the government had beenobserved to wink when it said so; from which premises they wereat no loss to draw the conclusion, that if the government had oneobject more at heart than another, that one object was the welfareand advantage of the United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffinand Crumpet Baking and Punctual Delivery Company.　　Meanwhile, and pending the arrangement of the proceedings,and a fair division of the speechifying, the public in the large roomwere eyeing, by turns, the empty platform, and the ladies in theMusic Gallery. In these amusements the greater portion of themhad been occupied for a couple of hours before, and as the mostagreeable diversions pall upon the taste on a too protractedenjoyment of them, the sterner spirits now began to hammer thefloor with their boot-heels, and to express their dissatisfaction byvarious hoots and cries. These vocal exertions, emanating from thepeople who had been there longest, naturally proceeded fromthose who were nearest to the platform and furthest from thepolicemen in attendance, who having no great mind to fight theirway through the crowd, but entertaining nevertheless apraiseworthy desire to do something to quell the disturbance,immediately began to drag forth, by the coat tails and collars, all the quiet people near the door; at the same time dealing outvarious smart and tingling blows with their truncheons, after themanner of that ingenious actor, Mr Punch: whose brilliantexample, both in the fashion of his weapons and their use, thisbranch of the executive occasionally follows.　　Several very exciting skirmishes were in progress, when a loudshout attracted the attention even of the belligerents, and thenthere poured on to the platform, from a door at the side, a long lineof gentlemen with their hats off, all looking behind them, anduttering vociferous cheers; the cause whereof was sufficientlyexplained when Sir Matthew Pupker and the two other realmembers of Parliament came to the front, amidst deafeningshouts, and testified to each other in dumb motions that they hadnever seen such a glorious sight as that, in the whole course oftheir public career.　　At length, and at last, the assembly left off shouting, but SirMatthew Pupker being voted into the chair, they underwent arelapse which lasted five minutes. This over, Sir Matthew Pupkerwent on to say what must be his feelings on that great occasion,and what must be that occasion in the eyes of the world, and whatmust be the intelligence of his fellow-countrymen before him, andwhat must be the wealth and respectability of his honourablefriends behind him, and lastly, what must be t