Hard Cash

proved too plump for that complete elegance she would have desired in a medical attendant; but had a soft hand, a gentle touch, and a subdued manner. He spoke to the patient with a

case of "Hyperaesthesia" (Mrs. Dodd clasped her hands in alarm),

lts. She told him she had always feared for her child on that

ons, will be all that will be required. In these cases," resumed Mr. Osmond, "connected as they are with Hyperaemia, some medical men considered moderate venesection to be indicated." He then put on his gloves saying, "The diet, of course, must be Antiphlogistic. Let us say then, for breakfast, dry toast with very little butter-no coffee-cocoa (from the nib

s of depression. Her mother went with her case to a female friend. The lady said she would not trust to surgeons and apothecaries

n: I will certainly follow your advice and consult him. Oh, th

is a particular fri

nd slowly mounted the stairs. He was six feet two, wonderfully thin, livid, and gentleman-like. Fine homing head, keen eye, lantern jaws. At sight of him Mrs. Dodd rose and smiled. Julia s

uperfluous. He asked for a sheet of note-paper, and divided it so gently, he seemed to be persuading one thing to be two

fection, Miss Dodd: I mean, a lit

said Juli

tients rarely contradicted him. Was it for them to

d until convalescence. He put on his gloves to leave. Mrs. Dodd then, with some hesitation, asked him humbly whether she might ask him what the disorder was. "Certainly, madam," said he graciously; "your daughter is labouring under a slight torpid

, it is not

e is no such diso

ly thought it was Hyperaemia." And she consulted her l

dge by his countenance, was away roam

do not know that

live in the same street!" Mrs. Dodd held

misunderstood him. Hyperaemia exists, of course; since he says so. But Hyperaemia is not a complaint; it is a symptom. Of biliary derangement. My worthy friend looks at disorders from a mental point; very natural: his interest lies that way, perhaps you are aware: but profounder experience proves that mental sanity is merely one of the results of bodily health: and I am happy to assure you that, the bil

se feelings only, she took Dr. Short's palm and pressed it. Of the two hands, which met for a moment then, one was soft and melting, the other

ins afflicted like Julia Dodd, he

MISS

ydrarg: C

: nocte

Aloes

i m

Sept

-

MISS

nf: S

: Bita

Tarax:

t: E

m: 3j om

Sept.

-

ddit: per me

into English

MISS

to be taken every night, 1 oz. comp

ept.

MISS

Potash, extract of Dandelion, of each half an ounce, let an el

Sept.

-

: she even added, with a listless yawn, "I had no idea that a s

mitted he wa

lse, a chill struck to my heart. Death in a black suit seemed to st

learned men by their bodies. "However," said she, "if the good, kind doctor's remedies do not answer

Doctors! It is a most fascinating kind of connoisseurship, grows on one lik

but promptly. "Auscultation will give us the clue," said he, and drew his stethoscope. Julia shrank and cast an appealing look at her mother; but the impassive chevalier reported on each organ in turn without moving his ear from the key-hole: "Lungs pretty sound," said he, a little plaintively: "so is the liver. Now for the--Hum? There is no kardia

serious?" said

e misbecome the tomb of Cheops), "and come again in a month." Ting! He s

sinking back in her hired carriage, a

, old one, of being a naughty, wayward girl. As for you, mamma, you have resigned your own judgment to your inferiors

what,

doctor,

ce is becoming a characteristic of our sex; but we have not yet

re are one or two; for

e are none in this

not in

N

here is nothing in it you cannot find in the country? Let us go back t

ou must pity your poor mother's an

ened me; he hurt me. I never heard of such

on, dear; it is th

d, "Pooh!" On being told Sir William had announced heart-disease, he said, "Ah! that alters the case entirely." He maintained, however, that it m

mbrane was irritated and requi

., their favourite repast after a journey; and whilst the tea was drawing, Mrs. Dodd looked over the card-tray and enumerated the visitors that had called during their absence. "Dr.

course

nly young

No. He is

d pain irritates gentlemen; they are

ing excuses for one." Julia added

to impetuosity. And he must have a

pirit of contradiction: she began to pick poor Alfred to pieces; he w

almly that he was v

nnot approve all t

words young gentlemen speak now-a-days. H

ir, with a smile of invitation for Julia to come and sit beside

r vehemently, then sat down radiant. "Ah!" said Mrs. Dodd, "why,

rfly it all belongs to." She spake, and to confirm her words the airy thing went waltzing,

ession. Her spirits were so uncertain, that things too minute to justify narration turned the scale either way: a word from Mrs. Dodd-a new face at St. An

rrors in a drawing of Julia's, and admiring the rare dash and figure, and Julia doggedly studying Dr. Whately's Logic

, and said with a smile of

' out at last." Mrs. Dodd glided to meet him, and put out both her hands, the palms downwards, with the prettiest air of ladylike cordiality; he shook them heartily. "The vagabi

! What i

husband. Isn't h

ve you forgo

rarch or another, Daavid, or Naathan, or

that he was on the

annall! Halloa! why, this will be the little gi

riend; and her m

I can tell ye. But no fre

oks are deceitful; she is under

ssively, "mind what y' are at, though; Barkton's just a trap for fanciful femuls: there's a n'oily ass called Osmond, and a canting cut-throat called Stephenson and a genteel, cadaveris o

ve consulted Mr. Osmond and Dr. Short; but have not relied on them alone. I have taken her to Sir William Best.

s for one girl to run; and come out alive! And the picter of

e haughtily; but instantly recovering herself, she said, "

y of all disease," put in the visitor, with such prodigious swiftness of elocution that the words went tumbling o

the characteristics of voice, speech, and manner, she had been taught from infancy to shun: boisterous, gesticulatory, idiomatic; and

and deprecated the subject with earnest furtive signs; Mrs. Dodd would not see them. Now, Dr. Sampson was himself afflicted with what I shall venture to call a mental ailment; to wit, a furious intolerance of other men's opinions; he had not even patience to hear the

Mrs. Dodd, "this is

ntly; "nothing is extraordinary. D'ye think I've known

they are the ablest men in your own b

ofession is a rascally one. It is like a barrel of beer. What rises to the t

rive John Bull's faemily coach-and they are sucking the pashint togither, like a leash o' leeches: or else he has turned spicialist; has tacked his name to some poplar disorder, real or imaginary; it needn't exist to be poplar. Now, those four you have been to are spicialists, and that means monomaniues-their buddies exspatiate in West-ind squares, but their souls dwell in a n'alley, ivery man jack of 'em: Aberford's in Stomich Alle

ld be more grateful if he would show his superiority to pers

and all his fire died out of him. "P

to the only medical theme which interested her, seized the opportunity while he was in actual contact with Juli

and sharp as an irritated watch-dog; but this

ed to Hyperaemia, and thence

patient's hand, forgot her existence-she was but a charming

ch receives with rivirince ideas however childish, that come draped in long-tailed and exotic words, that aasimine polysyllable has ri

rred t

nturie

mon,' &c. And accordingly th' Antiphlogistic Practice is, to cool the sick man by bleeding him, and, when blid, either to rebleed him with a change of instrument, bites and stabs instid of gashes, or else to rake the blid, and then blister the blid and raked, and then push mercury till the teeth of the blid, raked, and blistered shake in their sockets, and to starve the blid, purged, salivated, blistered wretch from first to last. This is the Antiphlogistic system. It is seldom

"and now, my good friend, w

o cooler, it is an inflamer, and they know it-as parrots know truths, but can't apply them: for they know that burning fever rages in ivery town, street, camp, where Famine is. As for blood-letting, their prime cooler, it is inflammatory; and they know it (parrot-wise), for the thumping heart and bounding pulse of pashints blid by butchers in black, and bullocks blid by butchers in blue, prove it; and they have record

re you enter on so large a field, perhaps it would be as well to dispos

cessive perspiration, a trifling diary, or a cut finger, though it takes but half an ounce of blood out of the system. And what is the cause of that rare ivint-which occurs only to pashmints that can't afford docking-Dith from old age? Think ye the man really succumms under years, or is mowed down by Time? Nay, yon's just Potry an' Bosh. Nashins have been thinned by the lancet, but niver by the scythe; and years are not forces, but misures of events. No, Centenarius decays and dies bekase his bodil' expindituire goes on, and h

. Then in my daughte

y the balance is troubled, and exhaustion exceeds repa

always find a

d then you must understa

isease, its fo

oes on, and i

o th' earth, like a bayoneted soldier or a slaughtered ox. If the weak man, wounded thus, and weakened, survives, then the chartered Thugs who have drained him by the bung-hole, turn to and drain him by the spigot; they blister him, and then calomel him: and lest Nature should have the ghost of a chance to conterbalance these frightful outgoings, they keep strong meat and drink out of his system emptied by their stabs, bites, purges, mercury,

who had long been patiently watching her opportunity, smothered a shriek, and edged in a word: "This is irresistible; you have confuted everybody, to their heart's content; and now the question is, what course shall we substitute?" Sh

Perriodic

has wells of

in all diseases from a Scirrhus in the Pylorus t' a toothache. And I discovered this, and the new path to cure of all diseases it opens. Alone I did it; and what my reward? Hooted, insulted, belied, and called a quack by the banded school of profissio

her chair despondent. Seeing her hors de combat, Sampson turned to Julia and demanded, twice as loud, "W

h a question?" sighed Mrs. Dod

an inch from it. It's

young lady. Universal Medicine

g, y'all stop your ears; for why? your life and dailianhourly happiness depend on it. But 'no,' sis John Bull, the knowledge of our own buddies, and how to save our own Bakin-Beef I mean-day by day, from disease and chartered ass-ass-ins, all that may interest the thinkers in Saturn, but what the deevil is it t' us? Talk t' us of the hiv'nly buddies, not of our own; babble o' comets an' meteors an' Ethereal nibulae (never mind the n

x-like, glided in. "Let us compound. You are for curing all the world, beginning with Nobody. My ambition is to cure my girl, and leave mankind in peace. Now, if you will begin with my Julia, I will submit to rect

you? Well, there's noth

as ruffled, and appealed to Julia-of all people. "There now, Miss Julia," said he, ruefully; "she is in a rage because I won't humbug her. Poplus voolt decipee. I tell you, ma'am, it is not a midical case. Give me disease an

eacherous smile, and said: "Never mind doctors and patients; it is so long

his he whipped out his watch, and saw that, dealing with universal medicine, he had disappointed more than one sick

ulia, with a w

little eccentric. I think I will request

tly. If I had interrupted, and shouted, and behaved so, yo

ed,' love. Dismi

ed person is gone, and we must al

o she was not bound to correct his eccentricities. "And I suppose," said she, languidly, "we must accept t

convivial recklessness, or in a parenthesis of some grand Generality, he would cure her child: or, perhaps, at his rate of talking, would wear out all his idle themes, down to the very "well-being of mankind;" and them Julia's mysterious indisposition would come on t

sent away Julia's chicken, regardless of her scorn, and prescribed mutton; called for champagne and mad

s' was a good novel to read by the seaside. So I thought then oh! how different it must be from most books, if you can sit by the glorious sea and even look at it. So I sent for i

her fashionable folly,'' and that 'a painful incident'' to one shopkeeper has 'thrown a gloom'' over a whole market-town, and so on. Now-a-days every third phrase is of this ch

in Moliere; and he comprehended the midicine of his age. But what fundamental truth d'our novelists iver convey? All they can do is pile incidents. Their customers dictate th' article: unideaed melodrams for unideaed girls. The writers and their feckshins belong to one species, and that's 'the non-vertebrated animals;' and th

solution, broke out, "Romantic ch

urless; indeed, not to mince the matter, six or seven of that sacred band were nullity in person. "I can compare the beggars to nothing," said he, "but the globules of the Do-Nothings; dee--d i

," cried Julia, clapping her hand

s their father, but he is an impenetrable dog-won't unbosom. Howiver, he sairves to

ow Dr. Sampson's puppy, love?" inq

know no one

you lived, and I was to make haste, for Miss Dodd was v

s statement, the accuracy of which she had good reason to doubt; and the poor girl felt as if an icicle passed swiftly along her back. And then, for the first the in her life, she thought her mother hardly gracious; and she wanted to say she was

l over the town: and seriously too; so Mrs. Maxley says, for she tells me that i

l," cried Sam

icians, like

ster to the St

Ga

ning; and Mrs. Dodd returned pertinaciously to the previous topic. "Mr. Alfred Hardie

bekase it isn't in Aristotle and th' Eton Grammar; and he's such a chatterbox, ye can't get in a word idgeways; and he and his sister-that's my v

lders. "We breathe it-we float in an atmosphere of it. My lov

. This favourite speculation detained him late, and almost his firs

d in her ear, "I hate him!" and, as she retired, her whole elegant person launched ladylike defiance; under which brave exte

scriptions, ma'am,

nds; and a medicine, moreover, whose effect on the nerves was nil, and on the mucous membrane was not to soothe it, but plough it and harrow it; "and did not that open her eyes?" He then reminded her that all these doctors in consultation

. Dodd, in reply, was less dry and business-like. She started and looked aghast. This possibility

he. "That child,

stme! You have detected the signs of a slight cerebral instability; I have ascertained th' absence of all physical cause: then why make this healthy pashint's buddy a test-tube for poisons? Sovereign drugs (I deal with no other, I leave the nullities to the noodles) are either counterpoisons or poisons, and here the

ton tow

see them," said Mr

'em. And when the

ashint we

er with youthful society in a more irrashinal form; conversaziones, cookeyshines

o 'a course,' t

do good by-and-bye. Where lairn

'a course,' the hea

peed, if not the brilliancy, of lightning, we have added a handful to the intellectual dust-heap of an oppressed nation. From this bad eminence Sampson then looked down complacently, and saw Mrs. Dodd's face as long as his arm. She was one that held current opinions; and the world does not believe Poetry can sing the Practical. Verse and useful knowle

t welcome unless it comes in the form consecrated by cinturies of slaughter. Well, then, giv

r. circa x.

sca ad Au

um xiii

m meo. Do

tin: dormia

tultit: p

nerally compound with whoever can give as well as take. Now she had extracted a real, grave prescription, she acq

nature for her beautiful instincts, one of which, he said, had inspired Miss Jul

ssion to contradict him; her daughter

rusquely if she to

for a very clever, but ra

g, an' Co., don't know the dire effecks of calomel an' drastics on the buddy, I don't know't? Her eye, her tongue, her skin, her voice, her elastic walk, al

lf at Dit

are in love with argumeunt. They go on till they reason themselves

the truth, when I can go

plied to her look as follows: first, she coloured very high; then, she hid her face in both her hands; then rose, and turning her

a bonny basilisk. Another such thunderbolt as she dispinsed, and ye

h a rush, and, demonstrative toad, embraced Mrs. Dodd's knees, and owned she had cultivate

s princess of chameleons; and, to confine ourselves to her two most piquant contrasts, by her mother's side she is always more or less childlike; but, let a nice young fellow engage her apart, and, hey presto

t to remind him she has shone on Alfred Hardie in but one light; a young but Juno-like woman. Had she shown "my puppy" her childish quali

he moonlight he came under more sovereign spells than a fair face: her virtues and her voice. The narrative of their meeting has indicated the first, and as to the latter, Julia was not one of those whose beauty goes out with the candle; her voice was that rich, mellow, moving organ, which belongs to no rank nor station; is born, not made; and, flow it from the lips of dairymaid or countess, touches every hear

e was to live for her, and welcomed his destiny with rapture. He passed the rest of the Oxford term in a soft ecstasy; called often on Edward, and took a sudden and prodigious interest in him; and counted the days glide by and the happy time draw near, when he should be four months in the same town with his enchantress. This one did

here below to court a young lady-who is guarded by a mother-without an introduction in the usual form. The obvious course wa

find how he stood in her opinion. The sprightly affair should end by his inviting Edward to dinner. That should lead to their uninviting him in turn, and then he should have a word with Julia, and find out what houses she visited, and get introduced to their proprietors. Arrived at this point, hi

eyed housemaid, "

dward

e, sir. Lef

r l

r. But he won't be back t

ed, "the ladies-Mrs. Dodd

y mistress, she's i

hed. "Could I lear

h her ma; why, 'tis for her they are

e is not ill? N

ot. She is pinning a bit

eming him so perturbed, Sarah, who was blunt but good-natured, added, "But cook she says hard work wo

an but wettish hand a hasty wipe with her apron, and took the card. He retired; she stood on the step and wat

of all misfortunes, sickness was what he had not anticipated, for she looked immortal. Perhaps it was that fair and treacherous disease, consumption. Well, if it was, he would

m; for the man was really a bit of a character; had a shrewd rustic wit, and a ready tongue, was rather too fond of law, and much too fond of money; but scrupulously honest: head as long as Cudworth's, but broader; and could not read a line. One day he told Alfred that he must knock off now, and take a look in at Albion Villee. The captain was due:

omen-folk care about a border, without 'tis a lace one to their nightcaps, for none but the father of all vanity to see. Not as I have ought to say again the pair; they keep their turf tidyish-and pay ready money-and a few flowers in their pots; but the rest may shift for

hat Miss Julia have. Mrs. and Miss are to be home to-day; they wrote to cook this morning. I shall be there to-morrow, sartain, and I'll ask in the kitchen when Master Edward is a-coming back." She prattled on. The ladies of Albion Villa were good kind ladies; the very maid-servants loved them; Miss was more for religion than her mother, and went to St. Anne's Church Thursday e

assed through his mind that it might have been better for him, and especially for his studies, if he had never seen her. Suddenly the aisle seemed to lighten up; she was gliding along it, beautiful as May, and modesty itself in dress and carriage. She went into a pew and kneeled a minute, then seated herself and looked out the lessons for

e longing looks were glued to her, and his body rose and sank with the true w

ith great zeal, but small precision, being about a semitone flat; at this outrage on her too-sensitive ear, Julia Do

r book again, as if to look that way was to sin. It

appointment; but she blushed again and again before the service ended, only not so deeply. Now there was nothing in the sermon to make her blush: I might add, there was nothing to redden her cheek

ushes; and gloated: the young wretch could not help glorying in hi

it pleasure or pain? What if th

irst to leave the church; he made for the churchyard gate, and walked slo

ct composure, and no legible sentiment, except a certain marked politeness

ut met with no further response; and she walked swiftly home, though witho

gallery, and look grave; but soon she detected him, and though she looked no more towards him, she seemed demurely complacent. Alfred had learned to note these subtleties now, for Love is a microscope. What he did not know was, that his timid ardour was pursuing a maste

ion Villa?" inquired Miss Hardie, to her brother's no little surprise. "Albyn fiddlestick!" said the polished doctor. "No! they live by the water-side; used to;

have two children: a son; his name is Edward; and a daughte

er. Was she blind? with h

rmation. "N' listen me! I saved that

is, her brother is a great favourite of mine." He then told him how to find Albion V

who,

hy Dodd'

erest you. We only meet in the Lord; I do not visi

lfred with a slight sneer. "So you

eacher who starves his flock with moral discourses, and hol

and you know we both got into a fury the last time we were betrayed into

elight to b

their n

surplice gr

n makes

ter. Do tell me in English where you meet Julia Dodd; that's a dear; for

ved and pitied when on earth; and we, His unworthy servants, try to soothe their distress, and lead

is the voice of true religion; and not the whine of this sect, nor the s

y fits and starts; and I am afraid she thinks more of comforting their perishable bodies than of feeding their souls. It was but the other day she confessed to me her backwardness to speak in the way of inst

said, with considerable bonhomie, and almost a sprightly air: "

pass: hypercriticism was not his cue just then. "Well, Jenny," said he, "I

is in a very ticklish state; she wavers as yet between this world and the other world; and it won't do; it won't do; there is n

ed angrily. Jane looked distressed. "O

hear reason; these big words were out of place here. "It is Dodd'

young lady, as sharply as if she had been a woman of the wor

yourself my sister, and refuse me this trifling service, which her brother, who loves her and est

arnal introduce one another. I really must decline; b

amiable and devilish conceited Christian." And with these bitter words, Alfred snatc

conviction that she had done her duty, and that Alfred's anger was

n. That worthy was just going to dine at Albion Villa, so Alfred postponed pumping him till nex

ed disconsola

Halfred!" He looked back and saw Dick Absalom, a promising young cricketer, brandishing a docu

distinctions to divide, and, though Alfred muttered peevis

make that up, young man." Now at fifteen we are gratified by inaccuracies of this kind from ripe female lips: so Master Absalom took the prescription with a complacent grin; his eye glanced over it; it fell to shaking in his hand, chill dismay penetrated his heart; and, to speak with oriental strictness, his liver turned instantly to water. However, he made a feeble clutch at Mercantile Mendacity,

agnesia or corrosive sublimate. An experiment or two by himself and his compeers, with comments by the coroner, had enlightened him as to the final result on the human body of potent chemicals fearlessly administered, leaving him dark as to their distinctive qualities applied remedially. What should he do? Run with the prescription to old Taylor in the next street, a chemist of forty years? Alas! at his tender age he had not omitted to chaff that reverend rival persistently and publicly. Humble his establishment before the King Street one? Sooner perish drugs, and come eternal cricket! And after all, why not? Drummer-boys, and powde

, and you only bruise the gents a bit and break their thumbs:

fluential member of the cricket club

he ground-you couldn't have me hired by the club, cou

usiness. Besides, it only lasts five months. Unless you adjourn to

Barton Chronicle says us young gents ought all to be given a holiday to go and see one of us hanged by lot. But this is what have broke this c

have stumbled on a passage you can't construe. Well, who has not?

is; there's some new preparation of mercury, and there's musk, and there's

engeance. 'Let him go in a fly to the Towns-hall. Saltet, let him jump-cum tredecim caniculis, with thirteen little dogs-praesertim meo, especially with my little dog.' Dicky, this prescription emanates from Bedlam direct.

t the door! "no more than I am;

ho had raised his head at her remonstrance, and now started in his turn; for it was th

my young lady. Is i

ily "It's a vile 'oax; and you ought to be ashamed

t Miss Dodd ought to know the nature of this

paper of Dic

enclosed prescription. As it seems rather a sorry jest, and tends to attract attention to Miss Dodd and her movements, he has ventured wit

h thirteen little {little dogs, puppies, whelps,} especially with mine: return h

nto Miss's hands when she

arn my warme

s that a warm gownd, or

leman, and a pretty, dark-eyed girl

hispered, "Give it

one cover, handed them to her, and slipped a so

hoked up Jenner's shop, and swept his counter. He had made a step towards familiarity, had written her a letter; and then, if this prescription came, as he suspected, from Dr. Sampson, she would perhaps be at the ba

tickets had actually been purchased, she asked leave to send them to the Dartons. "They will be a tre

Though really why my child should always

ked in ambush till Julia happened to go to her own room, then followed her, and handed Alfred's missive, and watched her slily, and being herself expeditious as the wind in matters of the heart, took it for granted the enclo

nious lines. "He does not like me to be talked of," she said to herself

ing had commenced. The figure Alfred sought was not there; and he wondered he had been so childish as to hope she would come to a city ball. He played the fine gen

ly the radiant young creature in flowing muslin, with the narrowest sash in the room, and no ornament but a necklace of large pearls and her own vivid beauty. She had altered her mind about coming, with apologies for her vacillating disposition so penitent and disproportionate that her indulgent and unsuspecting mother was