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Nature and Human Nature

Chapter 9 THE PLURAL OF MOOSE.

Word Count: 7790    |    Released on: 29/11/2017

lly ornamented with moose and deer horns, fowling-pieces, fishing-rods, landing nets and baskets, bows and arrows of every description, and Indian relics, such as stone hatchets, bowls, rude

and of natur's products to be found in this province. Some of the larger moose horns are ingeniously managed, so as to form supports for polished slabs of hardwood for tables. The doctor informed me that this department of his museum was under the sole direction of the sergeant, who called it his armoury, an

ing them to the captain and the Miss McDonalds, for whom the

a cat, and looks like one too, when he is hanged in a snare. It's so cold, nothin' comes to a right size here. The trees is mere shrubbery compared to our hoaxes. The pine is tall, but then it has no sap. It's all tar and turpentine, and that keeps the frost out of its heart. The fish that live under the ice in the winter are all iley, in a general way, like the whales, porpoises, dog-fi

dies will hea

't indeed. It hails every one that passes the sentry-box, and makes 'em advance and give the countersign. A man that has seed so much, Sir, in course has a good deal to talk about. Now, Sir, I don't want to undervaly the orns at no rate, but Lord bless you, Sir, I have seen the orns of a wild sheep, when I was in the Medeteranion, so large, I could ha

e moose half E

a great arguer, Sir, as most Scotchmen are. I used to say to him, 'M'Clure, it's a wonder you can figh

auling) an immense bull moose on a sled, though why he didn't say so, I don't know, unless he wanted to

'What do you cal

e,' sa

Mac, 'that that henormous hanimal,

hought to know one when I see it, for I have ki

nt. 'It's no such thing; I wouldn't b

ell me that again, or I'll lay you as flat as he i

How do you know whether it is a moose or not, and he is more

pretending to tell me that a creature six feet high with great spreading antlers like a deer is a moose, when in fact they are n

'as sure as the wor

id a moose,'

may be Scotch, but it ain't English. Do you go into that hardware shop, and ask

o has learned humanity at Glaskee, don't r

If you ever had that weakness, you got bravely over it, an

tinent,' said he, and h

an Irishman or Scotchman yet that hadn't the va

Yankees

mix up a deal of words of their own with it, and then wonder you don't understand t

marketplace, and there was another of these hanimal

all; go on. I li

to the countryman, '

ose,'

, to remind him not to tell him it was

s moose me

ikelarly coming from a soldier, for they are so hignorant here they

that,' a-pointin' to the car

c. 'Well now, m

ing his measure and weight for throwing him over the sled by his cape and his trousers, and then he put his hand in his waistcoat pocket, and took out a larg

there are more than one, or they are in t

said th

ook into that; it's very odd. St

with mouse before, and found he was wrong, so he thought

'what do you call

his mouth--how I hate that Yankee way, don't you, Sir? 'Why,' sais he

em that name?

godfathers and godmothers at their bapt

ure, 'you had better keep a

in the child, and barked up the wrong tree, that's all. P'raps I ain't so old as you be, but I warn't born yesterday. So slope, if you pleas

c, that fellow has no mor

beast,' said he, 'he

called after him, 'Hoffi

d the word sounded good, and Scotchmen, Sir, ain't like other people,

him. He urt my feelins, Sir, or I never would have mislested him, for Zack Wilcox is as good-natured a chap, it's generally allowed, as ever lived. Yes, he trod on my toes, I don't feel right yet, and when any fellow does that to me, why there ain't no mistake about it

said

e chance for his life, but if he escaped he'd be deaf for ever afterwards. Poor feller, I didn't intend to com

said M

round, as if he didn't want any one to know the secret. 'I ga

' said

thunderin' everlastin' loud--' and he gave a yell into his hear that was eard clean across the harbour, and at the

e truck-men gate him a cheer, for they are all Irishmen, and they don't like soldiers commonly on account of their making them keep the peace at ome at their meetin' of monsters, an

t, 'I was only asking questions, and how

rack, he got a book wrote by

didn't take, for there is no more fun in an Englishm

a remote period have been wrecked here, strayed into the woods, and erded with the Carriboo. It has the ugly carcass and ide of the ox, and has taken the

up just put an end to Jackson's dissertation

argets were accordingly prepared, and placing myself near one of them, I discharged the gun and removed a few paces on one side, and commenced as rapidly as I could to reloa

to him that which required of me the utmost exertion of my strength. Jessie and her sister now stept forward, and measuring off a shorter distance, took their stations. Their shooting, in which they were quite at home, was truly wonderful. Instead of using the bow as we did, so as to bring the arrow in a line with the eye, they held it l

n Spain ad ad bows like yours, in their scrimmages with the French light troops, they would ave done more serv

is elmet. A shower of them, Sir, among a troop of cavalry would have sent riders flying, and horses kicking, as bad as a shower of

remind him of his danger. "Oh, Sir," said she, again addressing me, "what signifies a armless thing like an harrow; th

out that stroke of the sun. Sometimes I think I'll tell her all about it; but I don't like to demean myself to her. She wouldn't think nothin' of me, Sir, if she thought I could have been floored that way; and women, when they begin to cry, throw up sometime what's disagreeable. They ain't safe. She would perhaps have heav

t on then," I said,

chment, I would put it hon; because it wouldn't seem decent to go bare-headed. But Lord

ure there was in that expression, "what's the use of

o; for though you may fail to get a stroke of the sun, you may get not an inflammation of the brain, for there ain't enough of it for that comp

to pick wild strawberries, or to run after his hat that has blown off, or to take a shy at a bird, or throw off his shoes, roll up his trousers, and w

Sam, your head is alw

of it," say

say, "why, what on

head that's alway a gathering

, in my heart, you are the most nimpent (impudent), idle

ay, and ask other people, who don't hear a word, or if they do, only go right off and laugh at 'em: "Ain't that pr

he ground with his feet, and how the plague he wears his shoes out so fast I don't know. Perhaps Doctor Lardner can tell, but I'll be hanged if I can, for the little critter is so light, he don't even squash the grass. The sailor waddles like a duck, and gives his trousers a jerk to keep them from going down the masts (his legs) by the run; a sort of pull at the main-brace. The soldier steps solemn and formal, as if the dead march in Saul was a playin'. A man and his wife walk on different sides of the street; he sneaks along head down, and she struts head up, as if she never heard the old proverb, "Woe to the house where the hen crows." They leave the carriage-way between them, as if they were afraid their thoughts could be heard. When meetin' is out, a lover lags behind, as i

ape, in the other. He is in a desperate hurry, and as sure as the world, somebody is a dying, and has sent for him to make his will. The Irish priest walks like a warder who has the keys. There is an air of authority about him. He puts his cane down on the pavement hard, as much as to say, Do you hear that, you spalpeen? He has the secrets of all the parish in his keeping; but they are other folk's secrets, and not his own, and of course, so much lighter to carry, it don't prevent him looking like a jolly fellow,

rate. Perhaps there is a little grain in his legs, but it never got any higher. Sometimes, I suspect they have been touched with the frost, for the air of a dining-room is colder under the table than above it, and his legs do march stiff and formal like a soldier's, but then, as he says, he is of the church militant. See what a curious expression of countenance he has when he meets his bishop. Read it, it says: "Now, my old Don, let us understand each other; you may ordain and confirm, but don't you go one inch beyond that. No synods, no regeneration in baptism, no control for me; I won't stand it. My idea is every clergyman is

tion about a contract for a load of deals, and at the same time regards his steps, for the ways of the world are slippery. His digestion is not good, and he eats pickles, for the vinegar s

raid people will think she is bare-faced, so she casts her eyes down, as much as to say, "Don't look at me, please, I am so pretty I am afraid you will stare, and if you do I shall faint, as sure as the world, and if you want to look at my bonnet, do pray go behind me, for what there is of it is all there. It's a great trial to me to walk alone, when I am so pretty." So she compresses her sweet lips with such resolution, that her dear little mouth looks so small you'd think it couldn't take in a sugar-plum. Oh, dear, here are some officers approac

eetching paraquet, "Eliza Euphemia, where in creation have you stowed yourself too?" and that Eliza Euphemia would hear her away up in the third story, and in the same key a

g on her an admiring look. Her step is firm, but elastic; it is a decided step, but the pious lay-brother regards her not, and moves not out of his way for her. So she stops that he may see his error, and when he does look, he perceives that it would lead him into further error if he gazed long, so he moves to the other side of the path, but does it so slowly, she confronts him again. After a moment's reflection, he tries to tu

the simpering beauty, come to the aid of the fair prosecutrix. She knows them, and they say, "Capital, by Jove--what a rum one he is!" Rum one; why he is a member of a temperance society, walk

hter, his handkerchief, the papers, the horn-comb, the fig of tobacco, the fractured pipe, the jack-knife, and the clean shirt-collar, that was only worn once, and toss them into his hat, which is carefully secured on his head, so low as to cover his eyes, and so tight as nearly to shave off both his ears. The lay-b

abit of crawling. In this manner we proceeded to the lake, and sought a point of land which commanded a full view of it on both sides, and embraced nearly its whole length. Here

k! Here is a canoe--c

ew Brunswick and Nova Scotia rivers in 'em for nothing, let alone Lake Michigan, George, Madawaska

re water than an egg-shell; they require no strength to paddle; they go right up on the beach, and you can carry them about like a basket. With a light hand, a cool head, and a quick eye, you can make them go where a du

atch," sai

n y

er f

rowing them diagonally at each other as if we were passing a shuttle-cock. She almost

Gaelic, dear, for I am very

her paddle into the water, managed to giv

was nearest to the house, was a narrow strip of verdant intervale, dotted here and there with vast shady beeches and elms. I never saw a more lovely spot. Hills rose above each other beyond the waterfall, like buttresses to support the conical one that, though not in itself a mountain (for there is not, strictly s

, and wondered how it was possible that it should be so little known as not even to have a name. My companion, on the other hand, was eng

said, "don't this remind you of Ca

t. "Laughing, talking, sporting with my father, and Jane, and you, and am also by the side of my dear mother, far--far beyond those hills. I see your people and my people; I paddle in our canoe, shoot with our bows, spea

this morning, let us enjoy what God gives us, and not be ungrateful; let your sist

ied, "this is life

e dine her

ble the great Spirit spreads for his children;" and the transient cloud passed away, and we

ks are made. I am a citizen of the world rather than of Slickville. But I too felt my heart sink within me when I reflected that mine, also, was desolate, and that I was alone in my own house, the sole surviving tenant of all that large domestic circle, whose merry voices once made its silent halls vocal with responsive echoes of happiness. We know that our fixed domicile is not here, but we feel that it is and must continue to be our home, ever dear and ever sacred, until we depart hence for another and a better world. They know but little of the agency of human feel

and gone, some to the tomb, and others to distant parts of the earth. The solitude chills him, the silence appals him. At night shadows follow him like ghosts of the departed, and the walls echo back the sound of his footsteps, as if demons were laughing him to scorn. The least noise is heard over the whole house. The clock ticks so loud he has to remove it, for it affects his nerves. The stealthy mouse tries to annoy him with his mimic personification of the burglar, and the wind moans among the trees as if it lamented the general desolation. If he strolls out in his grounds, the squirrel ascends the highest tree and chatters and scolds at the unusual intrusion, while the birds fly away screaming with affright, as if pursued by a v

akes in the morning only to resume his dull monotonous course, and at last he fully comprehends what it is to be alone. Women won't come to see him, for fear they might be talked about, and those that would come would soon make him a subject of scandal. He and the world, like two people travelling in opposite

nows it as I have said who has lived in one, amid a large family, of which he is the solitary surviving member. The change is like going from the house to the sepulchre, with this d

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