Strong as Death

lf, to read those intimate pages of the inner book which seemed glued together, and which sometimes only a strange hand can turn over by separating them. Certainly he did n

tincts of tenderness, but these instincts in men are so numerous that the dangerous ones should not be confounded with the inoffensive. Thus he adored animals, especial

ed the young girl without being aware of it, he should have experienced near her that rejuvenation of his whole being which creates a different man as soon as the flame of a new desire is kindled within him. No, the child had only breathed upon the former fire. It had always been the mother that he loved, but now a little more than recently, no doubt, because of her daughter, this reincarnation of herself. And he formulated this decision with the reassuring sophism: "One loves but once! The heart may often be affected at meeting some other being, for everyone exercises on others either attractions or repulsions. All these influences create friendship, caprices, desire for possession, quick and fleeting ardors, but not real love. That this love may exist it is neces

fact that this man's heart had been surprised, if even it had not been wholly captured. He had adored one woman! Another woman was born of her, almost her counterpart. He could not prevent himself from bestowing on the latter a little tender remnant of the passionate attachme

hat woman? Does not one experience in the street, at a restaurant, or a theater, a little feeling of enmity toward the gentleman who is passing or who enters with a lovely girl on his arm? Every possessor of a woman is a rival, a triumphant male, a conqueror envied by all the other males. And then, without conside

young girl? for all that he might do or say would appear suspicious to the mother. He reached his home in a gloomy mood and began to smoke cigarettes, with the vehemence of an irritated man who uses ten matches to light his tobacco. He tried in vain to work. His hand, his eye, and his brain seemed to have lost the knack of painting, as if they had forgotten it, or

go to the club for dinner, since he could not work at home? The thought of the streets tired him only to think of, filled him with disgust for the sidewalks,

these pacings had been delicious recreation-these goings and comings across the large room, brightened, animated, and warmed by work; but now, in his hours of powerlessness and nausea, the miserable hours, when nothing seemed worth the trouble of an effort or a movement, it was like the terrible tramping of a prisoner in his

owever, and began again, only to find that what he read had not really penetrated to his mind. "Well," said he to himself, "it appears that I am becoming imbecile!" But a sudden inspiration reassured him as to how he should fill the two hours that must elapse before dinner-time. He had a hot bath pr

ned from the count

asure of seeing pheasants, quail, or partridges falling like handfuls of feathers under their bullets, or little rabbits riddled with shot, turning somersaults like clowns, going heels over head four or f

eine to the Rue Taitbout; after passing three times before the Vaudeville, he asked himself whether he should enter; almost called a cab to take him to the Hippodrome; changed his mind and turned toward the Nouveau Cirque, then made an abrupt half turn, without motive, design, or pretext, went up the Bou

ttle back drawing-room, and was still

eeing him enter: "Ah,

us; I wished to se

you, ve

ment, then adde

d y

plied: "Oh. I am very well, very well. Yo

work, and fixed her gaze upon him,

true,"

e replied, with a smile

irresistible uneasiness, a sort of paralysis of ideas, still greate

will not annoy him," said t

as she

tudying a

ways did, finding her pretty. Then he felt the mother's eye upon him, and turned his he

ittle gold case that he had given her, op

aid she; "you know I like

ast, graceful and light, one of those compositions that seem to h

mposer of that

ss replied. "It is lit

for he could see out of the corner of his eye the two candles lighting the score; but he guessed so well, read so clearly, the watchful gaze of th

say to me?" Madame de G

smi

that music hypnotizes me; it dri

efore mamma's death. I never had you hear it, but I will play it for you imme

e emotion that flows through sounds. It was indeed on

dy of which all the phrases seemed complaints, divers complaints, changing, numerous, interrupted by a single note, beginning again, falling into the mid

who had sat down facing him, and he

her, as a good and habitual possession of which he had been deprived,

Countess, "was no

rb!" he said, ar

not kn

N

ly, you do

ind

Schu

n air of profound conviction. "It is superb! You wo

ain to contemplate Annette, but listened also to the mu

ural duplicity of man he did not allow his gaze to rest longer on the fair profile

earth; and the desire to cast upon her swift glances only to transfer them immediately to the Countess, tormented him-

ech was as paralyzed as his mind, and hi

then, sinking into silence, appeared to leave it to the mind to give a meaning to the themes, and to seek a sort of tender and harmonious ideal. He turned to the left on reaching the outer Boulevard, perceiving the fairylike illumination of the Parc Monceau, and entered its central avenue, curving under the electric moons. A policeman was slowly strolling alo

, thinking of his walk with Annette in this same park

nsforms the soul of youth into the incoherent canvas of an unfinished romance of love. Long ago he had known such evenings, those evenings of errant fancy,

his heart with this question, to sound the impenetrable depths where human feelings germinate before being born. This obstinate research agitated him; this constant preoccupation regarding the young girl seemed to open to his soul the way to ten

he arose, muttering: "Any was stupid to say that t

thought he would try to read. How many times had a short reading served him as a narcotic! So he got up and went into his library to choose a good and soporific work; but his mind, aroused in spite of himself, eager for any emotion it could find, sought among the shelves for the name of some author that

rd, of the dawn of existence, and having breath only for the morning, was silent in the arid light of day; those verses of a poet who above all mankin

read the volume through in a state of youthful intoxication. Three o'clock struck, and he was astonished to find that he had not yet grown sleepy. He rose to shut his window and to carry his book to a table in the middle of the room; but at the contact

o days. But whatever he did, whether he tried to paint or to walk, whether he bore his melancholy mood with him from

species of hallucination in which he lulled his isolation the two faces approached each other, different, such as he knew them; then, passing one before the other, mingled, blended together,

ing dream, he directed his mind toward all imaginable ideas, all possible subjects of reflection and meditation. Vain efforts! All the paths of distraction that he took led him back to the same point, where he me

comprehend what strange emotion was this that stirred his being. He said to himself: "Now, have I for Annette a more tender feeling than I should have?" Then, probing his heart, he felt it burning with affection

ne by one, with precision, sweeter even than at the time they occurred. Suddenly, while reviewing the course of these memories, he saw once more the road they had fol

ing longer he took his hat and went out, rejoiced at

red him, when he

but Mademoisel

elt a thri

I should like t

ppeared v

r master," sai

ok hands with her, and

hy I hav

ght a fe

n't k

jeweler's to choose the sapphire cor

face was illumi

d she. "But she will return soon.

he is not

o long, with me! You

ch as you thin

all the faculties of charming, that make the peacock spread its tail and the poet write verses. Quick and vivacious phrases rose to his lips, and he talked as

ion, he exclaimed: "But you have already

him with a bur

u' to me any more! Yo

was silent, the

sustained that opinion

more what to say, and he now felt afraid, i

mamma,"

as if some one had caught him in a fault, explained how he had suddenly beth

aid he. "I will tak

a little later the

their sensations, and he always experienced, when entering one of the great shops where the charming and delicate accessories of their beauty are to be found, an emotion of pleasure that almost equaled that which stirred their hearts. He interested himself as they did in those coquettish trifles with which they set forth their beauty; the stuffs pleased his eyes; the laces

of furniture, on which each, with a natural movement, placed one hand, h

e tips of their fingers, then lifted them carefully, looked through them at the light, studying them with knowing and passionate attention. When they had lai

ed with the joy of givi

the favor to c

I

e make you these little presents in memor

lowed, a struggle of words and arguments, which

ignment on the velvet. The painter was seated between the two women, and began, with the same ardent curiosity, to take up the gold rings, one by one, from the narrow slits that held the

e captivating than all the pleasures of the world, distracting and varied as a

choice of the three judges settled upon a little golden serpent h

radiant,

," said he; "I have something

ather was so fine. The Countess consented, and, having t

added brilliancy to her daughter's beauty, that the Countess had gone out with her in the streets of Paris; and the sensation of that street success, that awakened attention, those whispered compliments, that little wake of flattering emotion which the passing of a pretty woman leaves in a crowd of men, contracted her heart little by little with the same painful feeling she had had the other evening in her drawing-room, when her guests had compared the little one with her own portrait. In spite of h

provoked comparison with her daughter. Who, to-day, among the passers, thought of comparing them? Only one person had thought of it, perhaps, a little while ago, in the jeweler's shop. He? Oh, what suffering! Could it be that h

she. "We will tak

e was

matter, mamma

ce your grandmother's death I oft