Gamble With My Heart

. I'm begging

me Mia. It makes you l

good person, don'

shine brighter. Wow look at that, so beautiful. I

screaming but I fe

Mia! Plea

Was my mind sick or was I just weak? It happened 3 years ago but I still think about it. I couldn’t stop myself from sobbing, my tears had already soaked Rue's T-shirt. I stayed in Rue's arms for an hour watching my tears soak her shirt and then fade away. I wish m

o the other. When will I find peace? Question should be will I ever find peace. I think there are just people destined to not be happy in this world, I guess I'm one of them. I'm grateful for Rue without her. I don't know where I would be. She took me in 3 years ago when I ran away from

boss's friend, so most people treated me with respect. They always ask me the same questions. How the hell did you and Rue become friends and how are ya'll able to

ted my curves because it attracted the wrong men to me. Rue always said I could be a playboy model but that's not my idea of fun or amazing. Since I was young men always assumed I was older and tried their luck with me. It made me hate male attention and affection. Once someone asked me if I was Selena Gomez. I actually liked that question because Selena is hot, so it made

et. I was still trying to figure out what to say without breaking down. Afte

ase leave? I need to

e you not in pain. I know you in pain. I could hear yo

e years? Was I just twiddling my thumbs? I went to a therapist, I

, you need to talk abo

ything? Talking doesn't solve shit. After

opeful at all. Hope didn’t live in me. Hope was a foreign body to me just like love was as rare as a truthful politician. It doesn’t exist. I hate having a pi

human again. I picked up my toothbrush and brushed my teeth while looking in the mirror. The person that stared at me looked like me but also looked sadder. I brushed my

ooked in the mirror. Why won't the person in the mirror go away? I keep splashing water on my face hopin

I slapped myself hard across

d so far but it did help a bit. I stood up tall with my shoulders pushed back and trying to be as confident as I can be. I pointed at myself in the mirror and said "You will not succumb to the terrors of your past. You will not be another lost cause. You will not

f I keep saying it then maybe I can start believing it or fool myself into believing it. I can't be a sour puss everyday now, that would just make people run away from me. Although I feel de

it would heal my cold heart. As I watched the water bounce off my body I started to relax and unwind. I felt good in the shower and it made me realize that it wasn’t fair of me to talk to Rue the way I did this morning. She's my friend and I shouldn't ha

APOLOGI