Who to choose: Lover or love?

posed to be back today but I won't be surprised if they decided to stay longer. From the few

happy. She deserves the happiness and peace she is getting. It sucks not havi

nt to my former flat to go and get my stuff and of course idiot Xavier was there but I'm not eve

me he was beyond perfect. But when I think of hum now all

to put on some silly comedy on Netflix. I c

embered that you st

I'm fine thank

rcastic. Hi Lily,

ow you miss me but I

yeah

f bed and come open the door

? You are here?

now come ope

en it there Lily is with lots of bags. I run to her and take her in

Missed me

tle to

ay more often." She says l

otional. I really missed her and having someone to. I've been sitting in my r

lk. And you can tell my what's

e I feel l

talking. I told her about catching Xavier and what went do

e at the flat at ten and would really appreciate it if he was not there when I arrive. When I arrived at the flat he was not

did not want to cry in front of him. When I did not budge he left the room and I heard the

e you. You are my reason for living, losing you means dying. So I can't let you go. I'

her chance but nothing worked. Hours passed till mom came

voice and started screaming. He had no other choice than to let me go, since he is

er. It's not like it will change anything or what happened. When I finished there were

or hurt you in

phone and locked th

ked in the room till you die? Like we

ys will eventually stop calling. It's not like y

that's not

ver. And I didn't correct him because if he knew you would come t

sorry for what you went through.

I'm all

d mom always comes over to visit, e

up someday. i can lie but what's the poi

n, I'm

om because he used to say that you two are busy bodies and controlling. That you two want

dare he..." I had to use all my strength to hold her

it do going to

get rid of al

arted laughing. I knew she would

her arms across her chest

entertaining to you b

at myself than at him. But can w

nking of him gives me

ing again. This she takes on of the cus

Autumn. Why did you sta

him. He made me feel so great and so loved. I never saw

ally ar

ce made me less naïve. Or s

reliving it so you joke to make it seem fine but it's not fine. You have every right to f

e sis. I'll be fine, I j

s. You are young and still have many heartbre

ou are acting more and mor

take these two bags." She p

lete outfit. A dress shoes and accessories. One more elegant th

at are

one is for tonight and the ot

d sis you didn't need to

lebrated and we can't tomorrow because you need your bea

necessary sis. I co

se I have a sur

surp

hours to have your hair and make-up done. Oh and before

inish my sentence she stood up an

a dinner pretending I'm fine while I can feel myself slipping into this dark place

r-ending sadness. I know that at some point I need to start living again but I don't know how t