The Ugly Secret

own on the toilet, as relieved to

ly made me feel worse.

oice call. Sarah. "Ar

to the bedroom open and saw Sarah poke her head i

he said and quickl

bathroom and out into the bright hallway. Sarah was waiting for me. She

soft, probably knowing that loud no

justed. The taste in my mouth was stale, a

only s

bright sunlight stung my eyes, but the view of the water blew me away. Her house was r

ed by herself, but I had no idea her home was this nice. She usually came over to one of ou

ut her window dumbly. She pushed a bottle of

mething to ea

ld on

bagels and waffles," Sara

I mumbled, turning

if they had been taken out of the box maybe a month before. I could only im

own next to me. I nibbled at the food, not really hungry, but I knew I

upid last night, did I?"

slightly. "

er. I looked away, embarrassed. If she was going t

Alexander ?" I asked, try

rooms," Sarah replied gently. "I took

o church?

she said, very m

know, though? My family wasn't very relig

hand. Then she stood. "I'm going to wake

ished her touch had las

here was no throwing up involved. Just a massive headache. I sat on

rousal? She was certainly a pretty girl. Plus she was smart, funny and kind. However, I had never h

of attraction between us. And it wasn't just a

m the previous night that was crystal clear in my mind. Her lips were so soft. Her touch

y night and it was my week to be the DD, which was kind

r dinner and then hang

not too far from my apartment. There's a dock around back, and in the early a

istopher and Alexander. There was a palpable tension in the air betwee

a glass (or two) of wine. We sat on the deck watching the sun set and ma

ome groups of boys . On

He said

denly becoming uncomfortable. She stopped for

oy asked. She took a tenta

y. Y

oo

blinking pager in her hand. "Our table

ht she sounded disappointed. What I knew wasn't my imaginatio

ver the menu. Sarah looked like s

ly. When He's drinking, sometimes he s

shed. "Ma

......" Caro

r menu enough to shoot Caroline a stop-t

us discomfort. I watched Sarah 's reaction ca

d moved on to gossip about their friends and other topics. Sarah still wouldn't look at me.

ded over towards the boardwalk. There were a couple of dives and clubs we frequented there. I didn't fee

went to the bar and brought drinks for the four who were drinking. Our two

he attention. and I politely waved off all the girls but the most persistent ones; those I shot down mercilessly. After a few minutes,

orner of the deck. The silence between us was deafe

o the distance. A wa

pologetically. I could barely hear her above the music

ked. There were butt

at hap

ond, then let out a bitter sigh. "The same thing that ha

ross the table and took her hand. She was trembling. Sarah lo

ver seen before wa

I whi

she said, her fr

of bei

afraid of b

queezed h

ime things start to go my way, something c

like this. Her self-assured persona was gone, wiped a