The Ugly Secret

ared schedules and found that the only time we could go out by ourselves was the next Friday. She was busy with meetings and

t least it was for me. I tried not to hover too much around Sarah and

w we had gone out as more than "just friends", but neither of them said anything; I

this infatuation or puppy love? Was I just experimenting? Was I really in

he next Friday night. That was the slowes

e, a local French cuisine restaurant, and wanted things to be perfe

d up righ

as she stepped i

d, actually

and keys, I turned to head for the

arms around me. She pulled me close and before

tongue entered my mouth.

nd gentle at the same time. I could feel the desire radiating f

was very feminine but a

to take a quick breath, then n

hed the hair o

g all week for th

voice was ba

o do, I couldn't move. All I could do was stand

eternity. Her big brown orbs were hypno

. I tried not to let o

d and led her

ry excited. I was just happy that my boss hadn't chewed on me the day before when a whole pallet of liquor had turned

ood was excellent. Sarah ordered a braised chicken and I had the stuffe

salads, her voice nervous. "Are you ... I mean ...

?" I asked af

Do I have a shot at being

wondering that myself ... Listen

d across the ta

" Sarah said quietly. "All the

omething, but I could see that she w

e feeling like I'm tied down. Maybe it's because I spent so much time ... wondering if I was normal ...

ke being in relationships. They're safe and secure ... or at least I like to think they are. Sometimes I put up with someone's sh

d away for a second and chuckled to he

flashed back to my la

a of being in love more than I lik

me a rueful smile. "You know that girl we saw the other night? ... Vicki ... She's my usual pattern. We

lt that little twinge of jealo

think a part of me likes the one nigh

and type," I said, my voi

r had a one-

n't quite true, but I wasn't a

e corner of her eye. "Lo

utiful mess,"

ve, yet mischievous, smile.

th to avoid having to say anyt

out?" she asked me

n't know," I stammered.

break your hear

k my heart or you don't

s, but she stopped. I think the words stung h

ver me. A part of me thinks that I've gone off the deep end. I've never been attracted to

too." I could

the servers bringing our dinner. We waited until e