Wedding Night

d. I should never have gon

est till she’d found somet

And it’s this

idges, my heart is thumpin

other hand, has a basket

standing looking at a tran

ng over a rail of Princes

she hol

do you

asket. She’s clearly bee

of black see-through lace

ays impatiently, and jiggl

ive. Shall I

ger question we should be

why are you marrying him

eed to play things carefull

as I can. “You’re gettin

er

edding. You’ll love him,

ent basque into her basket

ng’s worked out so per

o!” I leave a tiny pause

d to get married so soon?

d plan everyt

It’s all going to be so ea

lace. Simple and roman

squeezes my arm, then r

weird about her. I surve

got that post-breakup ma

re overbright. She’s hyper.

eth

ontacted you ou

had dinner. And it was a

with each other.” She sigh

ars. Fifteen years. And I’d

married quickly. We’ve w

ramatically, as though she

on with the re

h

tie has not been in love

ears. I think I mi

him the last fifteen years

you never menti

clasps a hand to her side.

t tell you everything.” Sh

to her

got a phot

eous. I want you to give

ief-bridesmaid-slash-best

It’ll just be the four

ion. I was planning to be t

. This is a

on the packet of stocking

t. I know you don’t want

ctantly turns her eyes tow

tes ago. You were about

ring. You said you love

barely know? Is this

I did split up from Ric

lot of thinking, Fliss. And I’ve realized Richard wa

eone who’ll put himself o

thought I loved him. But no

ite

s though it’s the worst i

ited’?” I can’t help fe

rd’s

o style. He’d never ma

ver come and find a girl a

without her and now he wa

nd I give an inward grima

turn on

I had a couple of terribl

eparated. But I didn

fferent tack. “I do unders

sed. An old boyfriend com

l into bed with him. It’s

t mar

rts with a triumphant lo

ed with him. And I’m not go

oneym

h

h

xpecting to hear, it wasn

n answer. Where is my sis

wit

?” I echo at last. “But

“Is he from some kind o

htenm

she’s handed over all

ourse

…

t sex ever on my honeymo

good together, so why no

should be special. As spe

e, as though she can’t co

, he’s so hot. We can hard

ike we’re eig

er shiny eyes make sense. The basket of underwear ma

play. Why didn’t I realize

not only lust, teenage l

gging at the bus stop, as

t I feel a stab of envy. I

st, quite frankly. But I ha

the voice

g to speak slowly and clear

rried. You could just tak

Humming to herself, she

d I suppress a desire to scr

goggles for one bloody mo

entially going to end up

honeymoon. A divorce. A

ch she could

ing.” She looks up at me

y fo

y am.” I rub my head. “But

hing the wro

. “Who says so? Isn’t t

crous.” I’m starting to fe

? A marriage is a se

. “And I want to make it

folds her arms. “I have th

saster. It’s followed the

arriage. Over and over. We

reversing the strateg

help erupting. “The whole

at

hotly. “I see a brilliant a

tested! Did Queen Victoria

riage a huge success? Did

morial to him in Hyde Pa

ex before the

ut

d Mr. Darcy have sex bef

as though this

Oh, please. If she’s going to use Mr. Darcy to prop up her arguments, I give “Fair enough,” I say at last. “You got me there. Mr. Darcy.”

or now and come up w

A new idea has come to

you men

riend won’t be any wild

blue marriage. Mayb

aguely. “Some old fr

he

called somethin

does Ben d

ir of knickers that untie

he

You’re getting married to

he

Berry and type in

Ben’s

Lottie Parr. Is

Pa

eer at the screen, and do

ually, Lottie, I’m not sure

n shopping.” I give her a h

ratula

the way out of the underwe

m on Google, typing Ben P

n-law. Who th