HIM ALL ALONG

sitting position which I have

nd I was only able to manage a minor bath. I know I need a prope

k. She made pastuiia and half-heated vegetable

all

anymore, I lay quietly on my bed praying to be taken by sleep. The knoc

pt James who would never knock. This

m. They quite understood my want for absolutely no intrusion, and hearin

to the door to create an open welcome to her. I w

"You never knocked," I said and made my w

never

ha

irst. He never locked my door after him. His stateme

for a talk," he and I

you start consi

od

ran

nge that you lied to

ind of relationship

ed I was lying the whole time, but I thought he will play dumb and let me come to him when I am rea

enty-fours hours, I began to act strange. I want to keep this story to myself but I k

tell Mum and Dad, so I believed you down there like everyon

I guess I don't have to keep this to myself as I planned. We have sh

kidna

the bus stop?" Sittin

es

O

e if the 'ok' came with a ful

he detail

I sta

the exact word

on't want to tell me, I will give you time, only time, I won't

about himself. He'd said he is too lazy to write in a diary that it is easy having me as his diary and I

But James in the years has shown that a deep part of him can bottle up

are yo

ten up the atmosphere and also

ndicating he is not leaving my room anytime soon. His f

im for a long time

as r

t? J

ut

d to te

mes

rted; those bastards

I.

them, Dad will make

m. I need to get him to understand wha

reamed and there,

es' eyelashes fl

but it's supposed to hurt you

s and kept moping a

gentle. I know I am not making sense but pl

u a

to say that James i

, I am

t do you want me to say?

l Dad or Mum; the cop

ou. What is this?

feel like

finds me ridiculous at this mome

cting my sh

t sh

h a guy."

Oh goodness! You are not just sens

t, doesn't t

eve this. I a

oom. He is angry with me, he is t

m so

ked at me for a while and ret

e you no

I answered

e." He shuffled his blond hair back; James is yet to settl

feel so to m

nderstand

know. I moaned out of pleasure, James. It felt good at som

Will. You weren't ready for it. Whether

see it t

You are

ines me as such. Even James who is only sixteen

lder doesn't m

mn

es,

! Just sa

oom again and I did nothing but watch and we

you h

nd I hugged myself for

s is o

y who enjoye

f began to resurface and

know how I am taking this. But t

fr

don't m

f me at the mention of a doctor. How foolis

erent hospital, down

O

for a good one

you,

rry for the p

k on his face and I coul

my room. Can y

n man

you in th

d ni

" He

turned at the door as I

med." He winked a

ad I to